You see this little shit? I've had him for a year. I was asked to take him in as a kitten.

You see this little shit? I've had him for a year. I was asked to take him in as a kitten. He came with an ear infection, treated him, most days he sleeps on me. As you can see in this image he likes to sit right in front of me on the sink while I shit.

Well he got out. He's right outside hiding under a massive pile of junk. He won't respond to my calls, he doesn't care about food, he doesn't have a collar because he was a strictly inside cat. Fricker's too fat to get up trees. What do I do?

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  1. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    White/yellow male cats are the best, preferably if they have equal parts of both colors.

  2. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    YOU HAVE TO EAT THAT CAT
    THATS THE ONLY WAY TO TEACH IT
    EAT YOUR CAT
    AND ASSERT DOMANANCE OVER IT
    EAT ITS FACE, THE WHOLE FACE
    IN MY MOUTH.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why do scientists say cats can't pass the mirror test when vids like this are so common?

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          cuz they're gays
          >verification not required

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Because the "mirror test" is highly flawed and doesn't take into account how most animals have completely different reasoning than we do.

  3. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    just leave him bee

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nah he's been back and actng normal for a few days now. If anything he's more hyper affectionate now.

  4. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get his ass back before he catches FIV or leukemia or some shit

  5. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why haven't you castrated your cat? None of this would have happened.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Many problems would be solved if testicles in general were eliminated.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        You will never

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Testicular torsion wizard detected

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      not op but i live in a poor rural area in eastern europe and we cant afford procedures like that

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you neuter an animal before they're fully grown it can frick up their bones and development. It seems like a waste of effort on male cats, sure they might get a stray pregnant, but they're not going to become pregnant. Male cats tend to have a more affectionate, outgoing personality and I have to assume that's related to their balls in some way.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm pretty sure it's old enough if it's already impregnating other cats and its urges are so strong it cannot be contained inside OP's house. Most cats get snipped at 6 months old

  6. 7 months ago
    Anonymous
  7. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    He still gone?

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      OP here, I just caught him. Just minutes ago. He lost a lot of weight, and he's still a bit confused and like running around the apartment, but I got him. There was this grey female stray he'd been following everywhere for the last couple days, he mated with her. She's gone and he's a lot more relaxed. I called to him, and unlike the rest of the week he came to me so I opened some of the wet food I give him and offered it to him, he came and sniffed it but didn't want any, I pet him and I decided rather than trying to grab him roughly I'd just pick him up like I had a million times. I expected to get clawed all over, but he went limp and I just carried him in. I gave him some temptations, he's still re-exploring the apartment. He's laid down in my lap and on my chest a couple times, purring and kneading and rolling around. But then he'll jump up and start running around again. I'm guessing it's going to be a bit before he goes back to normal.

      I'll take a picture of him when he's calmed down a bit. To his credit, he was a complete tyrant out there, fighting every cat he saw. The strays would be all grouped up eating and he'd run over and scream and them and they'd all take off running.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        He's literally me except for the part where he got to mate.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Happy ending! Good deal.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Anyway to track the future mom and ensure she and her babies get proper shelter?

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well, here's a picture of her. She showed up a couple weeks ago, maybe she's what got him riled up to begin with. One of my neighbors moved in his girlfriend, they left this leather chair out to toss, the grey stray was the only one that started sitting in it. There's like a dozen strays in the neighborhood, two have collars but spend more time here than wherever they came from.

          It was amusing hearing Rascal screeching and poking my head out to find him standing on a higher spot on the chair and trying to serenade her. It's possible she could belong to someone, the female strays in general seem to be more skittish than the males.

  8. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    He's still loose, but there was a pretty wholesome interaction. My other cat, Matteo, he's a sweetheart. I don't even worry about him coming back, so he's just tagged and collared and every three or so days when he begs at the door, I let him out. He's always back 4-12 hours later. I worried how it might be different this time with Rascal already out there, but I let him out. A few minutes later I heard the caterwauling of them fighting. I thought for a second Rascal might be attacking Matteo but I happened upon a completely different scene. There's this huge orange cat that at one point was wrecking all the male cats in the neighborhood, had to take Matteo to the vet once over it, But he's gotten a lot stronger since then. Anyway, both of them were actually tag-teaming that cat. They were standing next to eachother screeching at him. They managed to chase him off. Then Rascal decided to take off before I could catch him, so Matteo ran up to him and sniffed him. They touched noses. It was like they were just confirming they're still buddies. Then they went in separate directions. Matteo gets along really well with all the strays, especially the kittens for some reason, so this little black one ran and rubbed against him and followed him.

    Matteo will be back by noon, Rascal still hasn't been hungry enough to come back yet.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your cat Rascal is very aptly named. Jesus he's even tagteaming people out there. He deserves a reward when he gets back.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kino

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Interesting how inside they have their squabbles (and the one-cat household has a more relaxed cat) but outside they're more friends because they trust each other. Very sibling like. You should just let Rascal be outside, then call him a moron when he comes back in a day or two. Maybe he will end up staying out there for a while. Sounds like he isn't fixed; unfixed males tend to just dip sometimes. You should get him neutered if he ever comes home, or you'll find him one day with a clipped ear because a TNR volunteer got him first.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Normally they both have collars and tags, Matteo's I had to keep replacing because he'd remove them while he was out, but I found one he hasn't been able to shake for months. Rascal's neck got too thick for the old collar so I figured I never let him out anyway (He was given to me when he was like 3 months old) so I didn't see any reason to make him wear it.

  9. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Day two. Kinda impressed with him to be honest. He came back, this is his main area, won't come to me or let me catch him yet. Runs when I try to catch him, but he's basically dominated all of the territory. I was out trying to catch him for like ten minutes earlier, and he kept pissing on everything every few feet. Seems to have beaten up most of the strays. When I saw him he was chasing a female cat, so I guess this will continue until every female cat is pregnant. My other cat's just been enjoying not having to deal with him to be honest.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >escapes human owner
      >beats up strays like its nothing
      >pissing on literally everything to mark territory
      >chasing pussy all over the place
      Sounds pretty based to me.

  10. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get a new cat.

  11. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is he neutered OP? If not then you won't see him for a while.

  12. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Well, looks like I might have to accept he's not coming back. I called out to him when I woke up and he was no where to be found. Took my dog out for a walk and I found him hiding in a field of tall grass with the feral cats. Reacted like he didn't recognize either of us. Took off beneath two fences into two residential neighborhoods. There are just so many food sources and other cats surrounding the area he has little motivation to ever return. I'll hope he comes back, but I no longer expect it. Setting a trap would be pointless with the dozen other strays around.

  13. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lmao imagine wasting time and money on such a shitty animal

  14. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    The saga continues? That's a long time.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      OP here. He's still loose. He's remained in the area, he's become much more confident. He's beaten up most of the cats. There are two very large males he's still been squaring off with through the night. Every time the noise starts up I rush out hoping to catch him, but he's been pretty good at avoiding me. I'm kind of shocked he hasn't gotten hungry yet. He is slightly more acknowledging me when I call him, but that's it. It's like he's trying to conquer the territory. In contrast, my other cat has treated the day like a vacation. He's been sleeping more out in the open and his most affectionate. See him I don't have a problem letting out because he comes right back if called.

      Problem is there's a dozen strays in the neighborhood and I have a neighbor that feeds them constantly so Rascal might just get by on that dry food. Waiting out his hunger might not work. I'm considering buying a trap, but I'm sure every other damned cat would trigger it first.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        just let the cat go, if he doesn't come back, he is still around, if he does, he is still a little piece of backtabbing shit like my second wife Lisa you pice of shit!

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          >random ex wife rant
          What happened, anon?

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          If he is trying to mate, his behavior may change and go back to normal once he's accomplished that goal.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >cat escapes
        >randomly starts fighting other cats like a feline bumfights

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Male animals were a mistake of nature.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            They are only there because female animals couldn't close their legs.

  15. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    He's like a slasher villain at this point. I just realized he's specifically attacking the strays I pet.

    Haven't managed to catch him yet.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Go drop your pants in front of the junk pile and squat down and start laying the steamiest shit pile you got cooking down there right now.

      Noone has ever been convicted for taking advice from Wauf.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Noone has ever been convicted for taking advice from Wauf.
        Incarcerated.
        Committed.
        Shunned.
        Mocked.
        Reviled.
        Scorned.
        Shamed.
        Outcast.
        And many more I'm certain I just didn't think of in this moment.

        But thank all heckin'erino ... not "convicted."

        > t. Anonymous, once again, wins the day for lack of evidence.

  16. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    I can't believe I've been at this all day. Still haven't caught him. I cleared everything in order to be able to get in close to the table so I could conceivably reach in and grab him, and he just went further back. I may need help clearing junk to corner him. Alternatively, I'm going to sit out there tonight with my phone or something. He usually likes sitting in my lap, maybe if I sit there with food and ignore him he'll come.

  17. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    >What do I do?
    Start shitting.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      That's actually not a terrible strategy, whenever I poop he comes running.

      I tried again, failed miserably. There's a couple barbecue grills out there among the crap. I managed to get him to come out, but he was only interested in attacking the other cats. They heard me calling him and came running, and he came out just to attack them. I feel terrible about that, because pretty much all of them are extremely tame and this chonker is suckerpunching them. I couldn't get a good grip on his neck. I managed to block off his entrance back in, but he ran around me and found another one. Now I found a second barbecue grill, so I figure if I can just get him to come out again I can seal it behind him and then trap him in place, and I'll have the carrier with me so I can just put him straight in there. After several failed attempts -and the fact that he scared away two of the cats he was going after- I don't know how easy it will be to prod him out again.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Then maybe try something like picrelated while you read a book or browse your phone.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          disturbing

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          >while I'm not in the bathroom
          Glad she clarified that.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        The easiest way to get a cats attention is to ignore it.

  18. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    RASCAL YOU LITTLE SHIT.

    I haven't seen him all day. Sun's gone down, I went back in with a flashlight and my phone to see if I could at least confirm he was under there. This is what the camera caught.

    Honestly I'm more relieved he's okay and I know where he is than anything.

  19. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    put litter box outside and wait. cats won't run away from where they shit, and he will come back to the smell of the spot he knows to shit at some point.

  20. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry, OP. I just adopted a kitten a month ago and it terrifies me that she could run outside one day.
    When I first got her she ran up a hole in the kickboards by the sink and it took me several days before finally seeing her eat and drink and much longer before she'd spend time outside the hole (nowadays she never goes back up it which is great).
    I grew up with dogs and they were so much easier to grab. Plus dogs tend to go near you when they see you gesturing / calling for them while cats do the exact opposite and tend to stop moving towards you or run away if you try to get them.

  21. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    You don't do anything. He's having fun. He'll come back when he gets hungry, guaranteed. Just leave him alone. And stop letting your kot outside u moron.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      I didn't let him out, he bamboozled me. I have two cats and a dog, this cat, Rascal has been caterwauling for a while, hoping to get the attention of a female cat, my neighbor upstairs feeds a shitload of strays and they know if they meow at me sometimes I'll feed them too. Trouble is there's a feeder right outside, dry food and an automatic water bowl, both belonging to that neighbor. If he gets hungry there's always food there. When I open the front door I have to do it slowly because he's always underfoot and if I just crack it he swipes his paw out to attack whichever cat is closest. This time I pushed him back then stepped out and he seized that split second he could get through my legs and launched himself at the closest cat, kicked, scratched and bit it for a little bit then realized "Oh hey I'm outside." and took off. There's like a dozen cats out there. I hope he hasn't moved from the junk pile.

      I tried luring him back with a laser pointer and his jingly string toy, if he's there he ignored them completely. He's a dear sweet boy, but he's a perpetual pain in the ass.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Listen man, I got an indoor cat who loves to sneak between my legs and get out. She's an absolute moron though, so she has no idea how to behave outside. She makes a beeline for the bushes and hides under them. No amount of coaxing will bring her out. The only thing to do is let them marinate for a while outside, get their wiggles out, maybe catch a bug, and then it's time to return to the front door for dinner. Just let nature take its course, your cat WILL survive outside, I guarantee it.

  22. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    He's hiding under these old nasty cabinets. I've seen him poke his head out. He escaped once before and went straight there and it was like you describe. When I finally caught him I didn't manage to grab his neck so he tore the shit out of my hand and ran back in my apartment. I wish I could just leave my door open, but I have another cat and a dog.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Damn. No one else with you to kinda move it and spook him out? Other than that it just seems like it'll be a waiting game. Do you have any catnip or a catnip toy? I did that once and it worked. At least to make them less scared and more prone to coming out. I'd say maybe fish or good food but you say he doesn't care about food so that might work. But catnip is an intoxicant for them so a little of that shit in his face should loosen him up.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        String too maybe. Just throwing it in to play or maybe get him to swat and then pull just enough for you to grab him. The claws will get stuck for a second before he can pull it out and so it might give you a chance.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        I've never tried catnip with him, isn't it like 50/50 they respond to that? That's typically been my experience, only like a third of the cats I've ever had have responded to it, so I haven't bought any in a long, long time. I guess I'll take my dog for a walk and just wait.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, it's not perfect but if they do respond they start rolling around and get moronic. It worked on my cat anyway so if you had any it couldn't hurt to have tried.

  23. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Can you move the junk to reach him? Like what's he under? If you have someone with you then you could have someone try to scare him into running out. Barring that just being sweet and trying to coax him out until he calms down a bit to come out. Good methods would be the slow eye blink. Using cat body language to try to indicate calmness.

    Also be sure if you get him to grab the back of the neck. If he's anything like my cat when he gets out he'll be a b***h and fight so you wanna make sure you aren't getting clawed to shit.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's an empty apartment a couple doors down my landlord never had the heart to rent back out because a tenant died, not in the apartment but- well it's a long story. Anyway they filled it with storage and before long that spilled out in front of it (she runs an antique shop) so all this crap is piled up covered in cobwebs out there. I can move some of it around, but not nearly enough of it.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Okay so, you see that pair of headboards towards the middle of this image? On the floor there's this framed picture, the glass broke so I bent down to pick it up. In the process of moving it I shifted the weight of those headboards and they both fell straight down onto the back of my head. Now, I feel fine. No bump or soreness, but should I be worried?

        Anyway, yeah, he's generally pretty well fed so it'll be hours before he really responds to food. I do have string toys he loves so I'm going to try those.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          I wouldn't be concerned. But if you end up feeling tired or off then I wouldn't mess around with that. Just try to be vigilant for any signs of being woozy or tired or other signs of a concussion. But the head tends to be pretty tough so at most I'd expect a bump later. Just be aware for the next few hours.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Be careful, fren.

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