>close my eyes and chop off its tusks with my mighty eyelids >shrug my shoulders, hitting the beast in the chest, lauching the beast into space >go back to my cave and invent dreampop and the yoyo
Unfortunately this guy is already a cooked goose. If he had a few seconds to prepare he could have shoved his arm as far into the bear's mouth as possible, down the throat, and fricked up its sarcophagus and lungs. Works for most animals.
>Uh...
He's not wrong and I tell people every time bears come up. If you have time, wrap a shirt or whatever around your arm. Run at the bear and dodge and shove your arm down that goddamn throat. Your grab and pull and scratch and you kill that fricker even if you're gonna die, too. You send that bastard back to hell. It's the only chance you stand against a grizzly hungry enough to eat you no matter what. Can man fight bear hand-to-hand? The answer is yes, but you better be prepared to die doing it if that son of a b***h gets you.
>tosses my morbidly obese body forward head first, as if to do a front flip >this cat doesn't know physics >he's caught off guard as I send him a few feet away >pull out my tactical pocket tuna >"here, kitty kitty" >toss it up in the air >sit on the cat's neck >cry as I choke it to death with my weight >sit there and keep crying, asking it why it made me do this >punch it in a rage over forcing my hand, over and over again >some anon walks by >"beating a dead horse, huh?" >sit on his neck
Affix a piece of ornamental clothing to my head before each outing that appears like eyes in the back of my head to dissuade an ambush predator from ambushing me.
I remember some accounts of villagers trying this in some remote region in India where there was a man eating tiger. It worked for a week or so before the tiger figured out what was happening and started eating people again.
This is actually a very common practice everywhere in the world that has big cats and it normally works well, with the only exception being proven maneaters who are bold enough to fight a man looking at it.
"Guess Whoooo!"
>he's right behind me, isn't he?
>close my eyes and chop off its tusks with my mighty eyelids
>shrug my shoulders, hitting the beast in the chest, lauching the beast into space
>go back to my cave and invent dreampop and the yoyo
Call my lawyer
>reddit
h-hot
>get a mouthful of hyena tongue right before it tears your maxilla out
Gross
Headbang viciously and let the cat's own anchored head and momentum snap its neck.
probably finish off the rest of the drawing?
Intensely regret that I have not killed it before?
What kind of stupid question is this even?
And I mean most of you. like at least 98%, are probably used to be killed by something like that.
Fricking morons...
Give em' the ole' Wilhelm.
Moan very loudly maybe even pucker my ass so he finds something more filling to eat
Wrong type of predator
I'd get mad
Unfortunately this guy is already a cooked goose. If he had a few seconds to prepare he could have shoved his arm as far into the bear's mouth as possible, down the throat, and fricked up its sarcophagus and lungs. Works for most animals.
>Uh...
He's not wrong and I tell people every time bears come up. If you have time, wrap a shirt or whatever around your arm. Run at the bear and dodge and shove your arm down that goddamn throat. Your grab and pull and scratch and you kill that fricker even if you're gonna die, too. You send that bastard back to hell. It's the only chance you stand against a grizzly hungry enough to eat you no matter what. Can man fight bear hand-to-hand? The answer is yes, but you better be prepared to die doing it if that son of a b***h gets you.
OP pic is not a bear though
>Fricked up it's sarcophagus
Accuse it of being israeli
try to go one thread without crying about israelites incel
reach back with both hands, shove my fingers down its eye sockets and rip out its peepers
but reddit will never tell you this
>I was allowed to relax, I am a cat-ally!
>How could this be happening to me!
>You don't understand! I was supposed to be berry picker once we reached the anarcho-primitivist utopia!
>meow meow
Kek
It will back off if it has any sense of wrong
Gem
Coal
I dunno, I'd probably die
Nothin personnel, kitten
>tosses my morbidly obese body forward head first, as if to do a front flip
>this cat doesn't know physics
>he's caught off guard as I send him a few feet away
>pull out my tactical pocket tuna
>"here, kitty kitty"
>toss it up in the air
>sit on the cat's neck
>cry as I choke it to death with my weight
>sit there and keep crying, asking it why it made me do this
>punch it in a rage over forcing my hand, over and over again
>some anon walks by
>"beating a dead horse, huh?"
>sit on his neck
>Aaaah! At least I wasn't a racist!!!
tell a trusted guardian or parent
tell my big cat gf to chill
have a nice day
that is a very hateful statement
yes it's meant to be
Why are you so jealous?
>Not playing with her since she's obviously frisky
You gay bro?
have a nice day
Calm down man, I'm sure you'll get a cat gf soon enough some day.
I am gay
Cat bf same diff.
Shit. He's got me
Lucky you. Fairies are strong against Dark type moves like Bite
Lion bf for you then lions are gay
They are bi, how is a brother going to compete with lionesses?
Take care of yourself, king
dodge it's plainly telegraphed chomp attack and pommel it from behind
>pommel it from behind
Unless it's a very shitty image referencing that post, you clearly missed the joke
Affix a piece of ornamental clothing to my head before each outing that appears like eyes in the back of my head to dissuade an ambush predator from ambushing me.
I remember some accounts of villagers trying this in some remote region in India where there was a man eating tiger. It worked for a week or so before the tiger figured out what was happening and started eating people again.
This is actually a very common practice everywhere in the world that has big cats and it normally works well, with the only exception being proven maneaters who are bold enough to fight a man looking at it.
Hate to break it to you but the cat in the picture is a proven man eater
i shouldnt say
Scream in pain
Bite down.