What is wrong with these creatures

First off, hamsters and capybaras are S tier creatures, so don't get me wrong on this.
I'm talking exclusively guinea pigs here.
Why are they so frustratingly stupid?
Name me one other creature who is so stupid that if you didn't know any better, you'd think the video were buffering or that they grew up playing Counter-Strike on a dial-up modem.
If eagles and cats are playing life as a real-time strategy, guinea pigs are playing life as a turn-based strategy -- one in which each move is "make one step forward at a time."
How did such a creature exist this long and not get erased from the gene pool for being so utterly incompetent?
Seriously I WANT a Guinea Pig Supremacist to fix my opinion on these awful creatures because frankly I don't understand how ANYONE would want one as a pet, let alone how they managed to not be bred out of existence by now.

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    My lil guy who fell asleep

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    ?feature=shared

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Attention everyone. Here is a picture of my beloved dude.
    He's a bit stinky but very affectionate.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Look at that sleepy pig with floppy ears and wiggly whiskers

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why do they put them in with the bunnies?

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Had em both in their outside enclosure today, to enjoy some early spring sun.

    I should have called them Yin and Yang.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      They’re so precious

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hamsters, guineas, capybara, hell even rabbits or bunnies all have the same moron level intelligence and don’t really show much affection for you. They’re all shit tier rodents.
    Capy is cute but they literally just sit comatose and shit excessively whereever you put them. You may as well get a statue.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      but… but… my wholesome rodentrinos… ok I pull up….

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        NOOO PULL DOWN, PULL DOWN!!!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >his guinea pigs never showed him affection
      🙁

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Piggies can comprehend death and are capable of mourning their pig friends (some even die of grief).

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Also the pic rel is not a dead pig, that is a pig stretching on his tummy because he’s hot or tired

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Love these lil piggas.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Such a chunk, all piggies deserve to be chunky and happy

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I still struggle to understand how you can get so fat from a diet of hay and veggies alone.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    They were originally bred to be eaten not to be pets

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    silkie pigs look like the kind of pet a magical fantasy princess would have

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    How could you hate them?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      cus they suck

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        their lips look gay

        Brown hands typed this.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          *Aryan hands

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            *brown hands

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              *Hyperborean fingers

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      their lips look gay

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Captive bred Herps are more stupid.
    theyre basically moronic and thats why i love them

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    they replaced their brain with cuteness

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    So i hope Wauf can be Wauf here there is this guy who broke a rabbits legs so that it was hopeless against a boa snake here is a link to the only video with some of his house https://youtube.com/shorts/SghP5qQTSUQ?si=JsrlgzT28dhROfdU Wauf you know what to do

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      homie this ain't the rabbit thread. But yeah, snakegays get the rope.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        /herp/ isn’t going to like this one…

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          /herp/ and /ret/ are natural enemies, we have no sympathy for them and murder them on sight

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      nypa

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      homie this ain't the rabbit thread. But yeah, snakegays get the rope.

      On that topic, I'm kind of surprised that Guinea Pigs have mostly been spared from live feeding type videos. The majority are either those frog eating hamster ones from japan or rabbit related ones.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    beautiful creatures

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >First off, hamsters and capybaras are S tier creatures
    >hamsters
    >S tier creatures
    i aint a lizard gay but hamsters are some of the worst pets out there

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >hamsters and capybaras are S tier creatures
    No, they aren’t, one is a meme animal with a life span of one year and the other is an overgrown rodent that looks like a dog but oversimplified

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/ZNjmfAU.jpg

      >First off, hamsters and capybaras are S tier creatures
      >hamsters
      >S tier creatures
      i aint a lizard gay but hamsters are some of the worst pets out there

      Not to mention it’s just asking for near instant heartache on the off chance you get attached to it

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        true ngl thats is just sad

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >other is an overgrown rodent that looks like a dog but oversimplified
      thats an understatement

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    They were bred (and inbred) to be a food source.

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >How did such a creature exist this long and not get erased from the gene pool for being so utterly incompetent?
    Will guinea pigs are much more fit for survival in the wild. The ones we domesticated are the moronic ones. A tale as old as time. Look a pugs. There's absolutely no reason something like that should ever exist in the wild but, here we are.

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    the thing I hate about Guinea Pigs is that every single guinea pig I've ever seen has an expression of pure terror. as if they've seen something so horrifying that they are in a permanent state of abject fear

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you were smart, you'd look the same way.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        cute

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Well yeah, they are prey animals. They expect death from above from ANY TIME!
      Though if you have one of your own (and you're lucky) they may calm down enough for you to experience them NOT bugging out. Like actually sleeping with their eyes closed. That's supposed to be a sign that they truly feel comfortable and safe.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        giwtwm

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      God why are they so lovable? I love them so goddamn much. I’ve slowly earned the trust of one with serious gastric issues, might be mega colon. I treated him for it because he thrives with treatment. He’s been my buddy for 6 years. He pig-barrels over to my shoulder when I get near him. When he’s out of the cage he follows my feet around and seems to want to know what’s going on all the way up at my eye level. Special creature

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Humans are the only thing keeping them from going instinct at this point

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      is the grey one pregnant

  26. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    They have taught me unconditional love, so I can say no more about their flaws except to accept them, if you want. Pic rel xrayed for gas and shit that was stuck in my pig.

  27. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    They do shit a lot and preferably right where they sit all day. But they're so cute nevertheless.

  28. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    if only they would use a designated shittig place, they shit and piss wherever, would make the cleanup much easier, other than that i really like them

  29. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Please don’t release them into the wild

  30. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    The stupidity is cute. Also the noises they make are incredibly soothing and relaxing for some reason. I don't own any Guinea Pigs but I can imagine it would be quite nice to have them wheeking in the background.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      When they bite the cage bars it's extremely annoying but otherwise hearing them squeak is very epic.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      The munching, casual conversations with each other, and mumbling to themselves are all comforting

  31. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone else have guinea pigs that make a submissive chattering noise? It's not wheeking or purring, but liek, they stand still and make repeated "squeek... squeek.... squeek" noises kinda quietly. They usually do it after two of them fight for dominance and one "wins" and the loser just stays still and does that. One time the pig who "lost" just sat there and made that noise and the aggressor pig kept ramming into it. I

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pain

  32. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love guinea nigs

  33. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Love piggies, hug piggies, roundhouse kick carrots into their cages, slam dunk pea flakes into their bowls, cuddle scared piggies, kisses onto a piggies head, feed a pregnant piggie healthy pellets, make piggies popcorn, hold piggies like babies, launch fresh grass into their cages, catapult peppers into floor time

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      TOTAL PIGGY LOVE

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous
  34. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Name me one other creature who is so stupid
    Don't want to sound like /misc/ here but : leftists.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      But leftists aren't cute and won't let you pet them. They will make some excuse to why they have an "ick" about you and want you gone based on the facts of you being straight or not addicted to the internet.
      Guinea pigs: 1
      Leftists: 0
      Wheek wheek liberals!
      Captcha: gg2kn0 (guinea pigs are kino)

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Leftists can’t resist a Guinea pig owner. Guinea pig is the perfect quick dopamine rush they all feed off of, as long as they don’t have to do the service of taking care of them.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Leftists can’t resist a Guinea pig owner. Guinea pig is the perfect quick dopamine rush they all feed off of, as long as they don’t have to do the service of taking care of them.

        Do not politicise the piggies.

  35. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    They look cute and like to be petted. That's pretty much all you need from a pet of that size. It's not like you could train other rodents to run useful errands for you or do any housework. They are just cute entertainment.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      this, idk why everyone thinks a pet has to do stuff

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        it's just rationalization dislike/hate

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          *rationalization of

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      They're as delicious as they are adorable, too.

  36. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Holy shit, I assure you, nobody cares.

  37. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Help me Wauf
    I got a couple of pigs a few weeks ago. I noticed one of them developed a tiny abscess on its whisker. Should I take it to the vet? They are still young + I don't want to stress them out.

    Are there home remedies to help him out?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Abscesses are pretty common if it is an abscess. But they can get infected in their mouths and can lump outward like that. I’d take him to the vet to make sure it doesn’t get badly infected since it’s on the face near susceptible eyes/mouth area. They’ll probably drain it and check his teeth then send home with baytril or another antibiotic

  38. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Rate my dude

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      10 baby carrots out of 10

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      6.5/10

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      homie is something out of a pixar film

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      0/10 FRICK your shitty hamster

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Frick you, Bibo is goat.

  39. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've had a few over the years

    -First was kept in a small cage alone, not real personality and hated other pigs
    -Second was a neutered male. He was playful and had a decent personality
    -Third was a very smart one and would communicate when she wanted to be held, would nibble when she had to pee/poop to get back in the cage, and then would chirp when she was done
    >last one was kinda standoffish and constant prey mindset would wheek to be held, but run away into a hide when you walked to to the cage. ironically, she would never run away when my son would be playing/jumping around her cage, only when adults would come near

  40. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Your entire post is literally "guinea pig Stoopid, whai?
    Fricking moron, don't ever shit talk Guinea pigs again, your own mental capacity is not enough to warrant such behavior

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ginea pigs are dumb as shit and massive cowards. No wonder they get used as well guinea pigs. Totally helpless losers.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Imagine being this jealous of the cavia porcellus

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >freezes, stares

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          idiot.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous
      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I like cute things.

  41. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
  42. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    My landlord had four of these little demons, screaming like air sirens at the slightest provocation. I wanted to fry them like Peruvians do.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hungry pigs break the sound barrier

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        ?si=yLR2mTRIvI5aoDjm
        it's such a distinct noise they make. When I had piggies when they heard that I had woken up they would do the usual wheeking and then very very loudly chew on their hay cage letting out this loud metal sound. Odd thing was that it was specifically morning thing and there was no cage chewing during evening meal time.

  43. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Intelligence between a rat and a rabbit

  44. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    They’re smart enough to be effective at being guinea pigs. That’s a low bar of course, it doesn’t take a lot of brains to look cute and be petted, but they’re as smart as they need to be.
    One nice thing about them is they don’t need a cage. They’ll respect a symbolic 6” wall, they could hop out anytime they want but they never do. I keep mine in a folding industrial spill tray when we’re travelling and it’s pretty handy.

  45. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Humans.

    Domestication turns animals into cute docile abominations.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      One thing I've always wondered is why humans domesticate animals to have the splotchy black and white cow pattern. You see it with domesticated mice, rabbits, guinea pigs, cats, dogs, etc

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        iinm, it just happens as a natural consequence of domestication. At least it does in dogs, cats, horses and foxes

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        look up domestication syndrome

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        multicolor patterns get filtered out by predators in nature, theyre easier to spot, their genetic lines get eliminated naturally

  46. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    These things are fricking delicious. I wish people had told me about cuy sooner. It's like the best dark meat chicken I've ever had.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I want to try it, but the only way to get some here is to get a pet one and butcher it, but I assume pet lines are not good for meat, and while I have killed my own meat in several occasions before, I'm not comfortable with butchering one that was born to be a pet.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Do you have any Peruvian restaurants in your area? I found one that has a cuy as a special once a year. Finally was able to get there when I was on the menu. Bunch of old Peruvian ladies thought it was interesting a white guy was coming in to try guinea pig. They told me about some of the traditions surrounding eating it back home.

        https://www.vice.com/en/article/vvxkya/look-for-the-lucky-bone-when-eating-a-guinea-pig-head

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        The "pet lines" only became pet lines when they were brought to europe. In the Andees, all breeds are eaten (or used for divination and medicine). The big meat breeds

        https://i.imgur.com/1RRFui2.jpg

        I would try true cuy if I didn’t have Guinea pigs.
        [...]
        >pet lines
        There’s a general breed for meat called cuy, they are much larger than the ‘domestic guinea pig’. They usually have extra toes for some reason

        are just higher yield. Like other places have really big and fast growing chickens, pigs or cows. Doesnt mean the smaller breeds are only pets.
        There's some special colours and fur styles in european genetics, but they are not fundamentally different from what gets served con papas in peru.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I would try true cuy if I didn’t have Guinea pigs.

      I want to try it, but the only way to get some here is to get a pet one and butcher it, but I assume pet lines are not good for meat, and while I have killed my own meat in several occasions before, I'm not comfortable with butchering one that was born to be a pet.

      >pet lines
      There’s a general breed for meat called cuy, they are much larger than the ‘domestic guinea pig’. They usually have extra toes for some reason

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, there is zero chance I can get this here. Well.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        That pic has that woman stretching her arms out as far as fricking possible for those archetypal "giant rat" artical pieces. Fake and gay.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yea it is forced perspective. This is a large guy even for one bred for food. Cuy are still pretty big tho

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            forgot pig

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              well they are rodents after all.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >extra toes
        that's a sign of amateur breeding, it happens when one does not control their lines properly and they inbreed. Red eyes are for the same reson.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Once I had a pig with an extra pair of nipples, although they were very thin and I doubt they were usable. Is that also a sign of shit breeding?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            yeah pretty much

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tasted like rabbit when I had it. I'm not big on rabbit except for in saucy dishes because the meat is so lean.

      Do you have any Peruvian restaurants in your area? I found one that has a cuy as a special once a year. Finally was able to get there when I was on the menu. Bunch of old Peruvian ladies thought it was interesting a white guy was coming in to try guinea pig. They told me about some of the traditions surrounding eating it back home.

      https://www.vice.com/en/article/vvxkya/look-for-the-lucky-bone-when-eating-a-guinea-pig-head

      I had it in an "Italian" restaurant in Philadelphia. The owners are Ecuadorean who happened to be of Italian descent and most of what they cooked was completely foreign to me as someone from Italy.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      That looks absolutely great.

  47. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate guinea pigs with a passion. Dont know why. They just enrage me.

  48. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Loafapiggy

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Loafin

  49. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    look at these CUTE FRICKS!

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      What do they actually do though? Besides sit there and look cute? What utility is there to owning a guinea pig?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        ? They’re not tools, they need taking care of and you take care of them. In return they give you trust snuggles, kisses, and share their personality with you

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          you have domestication syndrome
          theyre just small animals tricking your brain with their baby like features

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            I think it's fascinating how domesticated guinea pigs are. They don't wheek in the wild yet somehow learned to do so to get humans to give them food, and even react to the rustling of bags. Gotta give the mayans credit for domesticating them for thousands of years. Meanwhile hamsters were only domesticated for 80 years and act like total buttholes

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              >maya
              Anon... the maya lived in central america. Where do guinea pigs come from?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                the various tribes of the andes mountains during the early human settlement of south america

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Boiling it down like that doesn’t change anything though.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >you have domestication syndrome
            You have being alive syndrome, it's just cascading chemical reactions in your brain steering your behavior to make you write something as Reddit-tier as this.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        They’re also an interesting study, the secrets of Guinea pig. We know they form complicated social orders. Males have different roles in the herd depending on status and personality. Some males prefer not to bond with other males at all and form a female harem. Some piggies
        become so bonded that if one dies, the other goes through pining, depression and can die from grief. Females are less aggressive but still form their own chains of command. Get a group of them together in one area and it’s interesting to watch. They all share Guinea pig language, as in from body language to all the little different sounds they make. They’re not “smart” or “useful” but it is fun to watch them at it. Your influence on them can change their personality. They discover things like a dumb child, except it’s throughout their entire life arc.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >We know they form complicated social orders.
          I fricking can't holy shit, I mean I totally believe it, it's just...

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous
  50. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    We had a few piggies some while ago. Some of them were surprisingly smart. And agile. One hopped around her pen to get to the upper levels and get to the food we stored up there.
    Frick man, i miss my pigs...

  51. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    piggers

  52. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
  53. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    When properly bred they tend to be smarter and live longer. But they are largely inbred for mass sales at pet stores and that's the main reason why they're dumb as shit. But like any animal, no matter how dumb they are you tend to grow attached to them the longer you have them, and they grow attached to you too. I cried like a b***h when each of mine died.

    Here's how smart a pig technically can be:

    ?si=QsuqQT3o9NrYgEgL

  54. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
  55. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    i had an idea to make a giant frick off shelf with a rodent habitat in it. i want it to be like the size of a large bookshelf or a wall. of course it has to be smaller than a door, but i might build it in the display room.

    either way, what species should I display? im thinking dwarf hamsters or gerbils. I wanna just like, have a colony. see them make more, but still have plenty of space. lots of tubes, and i'll just drop food in one little part of it.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ants

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      dwarf hamsters are highly territorial so there is a good chance half your colony will cannibalize the other half

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      you should go with mongolian gerbils because they live in a group and they are very active so it's fun to watch. hamsters will frick off in the corner if you are near them and they will eat each other alive
      be sure to post some pics in /ret/

  56. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do they taste good? Is it worth buying one to eat it? I'd be nervous about eating an animal from a pet store.

  57. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Entire OP is just bideo game comparisons

  58. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    My problem with guinea pigs is that rats live for like 2 years while those jerkfaces can push 10 if well cared for.

    Imagine if gorillas regularly lived to be 500 while you're stuck with your shitty ass human lifespan.

  59. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wait, are fluffies based on guinea pigs?
    The descriptions itt are a perfect match to what you see in fluffy abuse comics.
    Sorry to derail the thread, I just had a huge fricking realization.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lol yep.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lol yep.

      I thought they were based on a certain franchise that has their own containment board here

  60. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    my mother got 2 guinea pigs for herself the other month
    they seem pretty afraid when they're handled (to clean their cage)

    how could I make them more trusting and okay with being held?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Food. But they don't enjoy being held in my experience and tolerate it at best. They are willing to climb on hands, but prefer to keep their hind legs on the ground.
      Guinea pigs, like most animals, can be won over by food and patience.

  61. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    what the frick was his problem?

  62. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  63. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Name me one other creature who is so stupid that if you didn't know any better, you'd think the video were buffering or that they grew up playing Counter-Strike on a dial-up modem.
    Koalas.

  64. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They are bred to be your friend and not to be afraid of you and cuddle with you :3 they are easy to get friendly with and very therapeutic pet, that's why they lack survival instincts

  65. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They were traditionally kept in pens with just a short board blocking the door. All the ones that were smart and athletic enough to climb or hop a 25cm barrier escaped and left the gene pool for domesticated cuys.
    The ones that didnt manage the easiest prison escape imaginable for hundred of generations formed to stock of what we have now.

  66. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nothing wrong with the peej

  67. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >hamsters are S tier creatures

  68. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    shut your prostitute mouth

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your guinea pig is clearly an anomaly. The average guinea pig is stupid.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2v9xYl0TNk
      Can anyone watch this video the whole way through without getting annoyed? This is the perfect encapsulation of the guinea pig. Slow, stupid, and living life as a turn-based strategy game instead of a real-time strategy game. Good luck!

      See how long you make it through this video without getting frustrated and quitting.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        The pig in that video definitely isn't an anomaly. I've had 5 guinea pigs and they all learn tricks like "high five" and "spin around" extremely fast. One pig actually learned "spin around" just from watching me teach another one in front of him. It was really impressive to me. They are able to watch each other and learn by example, a behavior as unnatural as spinning around to get a treat. Another thing I observed when I had the chance to have a baby guinea pig housed with an adult is that the baby would only eat new foods if he could pull them out of the adult's mouth. It seems that this is their method of learning which kinds of leaves are safe to eat.
        Guinea pigs are smart enough to learn their own names and recognize individual humans by their voice. They also are genuinely capable of loving humans or at least enjoying human touch and companionship. They also have a very impressive range of complex vocalizations and songs. Guinea pigs do not "play" in the same way as a cat but I believe they're just as smart as cats.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Rodents are unironically smarter than cats. Cats are dumber than chihuahuas, which are basically rodents anyways. Truly dog sized rodents would be as smart as their canine contemporaries.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            this, cats were never bred for intelligence, piggus too but they can learn tricks naturally

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Can you speak to the observed phenomenon of "internet lagging" or "high pinging" from guinea pigs? Move........ *waiting for response* ...... move ..... *waiting for response* ....... move.
          It makes it frustrating to watch videos of the guinea pig.
          I'm converted to the guinea pig, I just want to hear it from those who have experience with guinea pigs.
          This is the one thing that would prevent me from getting guinea pigs as pets.
          Sure, they might learn tricks fast, but do you experience a general slowness about them?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            No, I don't really have any idea what you're talking about. They are as "responsive" as any other animal. If you open the fridge they're immediately squealing and singing, if you scare them they immediately dart away. If you open the window and a breeze rolls into the room, they will immediately sit up and start sniffing as soon as the different air hits them. And just watch two guinea pigs fight if you want to see proof that they're not lagging, they are surprisingly vicious fighters.

            Are you talking about the fact that guinea pigs like to move quickly in between pauses of standing still? That's not because their brains are lagging, it's just a predator evasion technique. Specifically a raptor evasion technique. Eagles can't see you if you stand completely still, so they have a habit of being like a statue, checking if it's safe, then darting to the next area/action, being completely still, etc. They don't do this if they're in a comfortable place.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              >that they're not lagging, they are surprisingly vicious fighters.
              I have no choice but to agree with you here, I've seen it:

              Although there still is a sort of "lazy indifference" despite the combat going on in the immediate environment. It's a vibe similar to that of when watching videos of overweight/obese cats. They move with a sluggishness that you can viscerally FEEL through the screen. Things that a normal cat would just do, with unthinking and instinctual efficiency, instead FEEL like chores.

              That being said:

              Notice how in this video, a fight ensues and then one guinea pig makes a proactive decision to take a leaf and remove it and himself from the scene. Soon afterward, at about 1:08, the offwhite/cream guinea pig at top-right position makes a decision to just grab a chunk of leaf for himself, and it makes a jarring and noticeable CRUNCH, although he hilariously takes far less from the leaf than it would seem he was intending to. He's left dumbfounded, sitting there, chewing, just frozen in "internet lagging" guinea pig style.
              This is just one example among MANY that I could do a play-by-play on.
              I am HOPING you can prove me wrong, because I want to think more highly of this creature, and while yes my heartstrings have been completely pulled to the guinea pig over the duration of this thread, I still can't help but find him to be a somewhat dull creature, no offense.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              >That's not because their brains are lagging, it's just a predator evasion technique. Specifically a raptor evasion technique.
              Okay I'm sorry but this literally made me laugh out loud. Something about the notion of these mostly indoor balls, no, cylinders of meat and fur having to watch out for "raptors" like they're in Jurassic Park just tickles me immensely.
              Thing is, how many generations of DOMESTICATED guinea pigs are realistically worried about raptors? Look, I get ancestral DNA, things encoded in them from many many years ago. But the lifecycle of a guinea pig is MUCH faster than that of a human. Are you really saying that the instinct to avoid birds of prey would still exist in the guinea pig after all this time?! I mean, domestication of guinea pigs is reported to be at least 5,000-7,000 years ago, from multiple sources.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Guinea pigs haven't been "mostly indoor" since about two or three hundred years ago. Before that, they were kept in outdoor pens with no cover for thousands of years. They were practically bred specifically to fear nothing more than birds. In South America where they are still bred for food by the descendants of the Inca, they are still kept in outside pens to this day.
                And even considering the 300-year line of guinea pigs that came to the first world, evolution doesn't just remove features for no reason. If having a habit of standing still to avoid birds doesn't reduce a guinea pig's likelihood of reproducing when kept indoors, then they will just stay like that forever.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >evolution doesn't just remove features for no reason. If having a habit of standing still to avoid birds doesn't reduce a guinea pig's likelihood of reproducing when kept indoors, then they will just stay like that forever.
                lmao no they wouldn't
                adaptations need some amount of selective pressure just to be kept maintained against degradation from random mutations, without any pressure those mutations will build up and the behavior will be less effective over time and eventually entirely non-functional
                without any pressure to lose the behavior this wouldn't happen very quickly, and being domesticated does complicate the matter, but in general adaptations do need to serve some utility in order to persist

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Ok, "forever" is an exaggeration but random mutations don't degrade features that don't have any reproductive disadvantage on the timescale of even a whole species. Humans still get goosebumps in the cold despite that we have not been covered in hair for at least 1.2 million years.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                humans are still covered in fine hairs that do provide some extra insulation when raised, still not completely pointless to remove

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >adaptations need some amount of selective pressure just to be kept maintained against degradation from random mutations, without any pressure those mutations will build up and the behavior will be less effective over time and eventually entirely non-functional
                Thanks I wanted to make this argument but didn't have the words for it, bless you senpai

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's basically wrong though

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Guinea pigs haven't been "mostly indoor" since about two or three hundred years ago. Before that, they were kept in outdoor pens with no cover for thousands of years. They were practically bred specifically to fear nothing more than birds. In South America where they are still bred for food by the descendants of the Inca, they are still kept in outside pens to this day.
                Why would you go to the trouble of breeding these creatures but not keep them safe from birds of prey? I mean, even fellow rodent Squirrel knows to hide his stash inside a tree of his secret knowledge.
                Also, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think squirrels are smarter than guinea pigs. They just have a much sharper thing about them. Just look at picrel. Get me any picture of a guinea pig looking that sharp and focused about ANYTHING.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >they are still kept in outside pens to this day
                Some might, but in a lot of homes guinea pigs are kept around the kitchen, people mindlessly, after using the cutting board, throw the leftovers directly on the floor, knowing well guinea pigs are not picky, on holidays they sacrifice one or two just by leaning a little and grabbing them by the neck, without even taking a single or more than a couple of steps to the sink, in some places they skin them with only their nails

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >in some places they skin them with only their nails
                Here it is, well, this one is part of a guinea pig divination (super popular down there), but it gets the point across:
                https://vimeo.com/36374676
                see around 11:13

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Are guinea pigs good for you?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                that looks cruel
                why are browns like this

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Zero respect

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                that thing is prob already dead

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Cruel? I'd love being rubbed with a guinea pig!

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >descendants of the Inca
                You mean the Inca? It's not like they died out or anything. They're still around, all 10 million of them. There's even Inca pop music. I posted an old Inca singer in the music thread but lemme getcha a now modern song

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Guinea pigs haven't been "mostly indoor" since about two or three hundred years ago. Before that, they were kept in outdoor pens with no cover for thousands of years. They were practically bred specifically to fear nothing more than birds. In South America where they are still bred for food by the descendants of the Inca, they are still kept in outside pens to this day.
                And even considering the 300-year line of guinea pigs that came to the first world, evolution doesn't just remove features for no reason. If having a habit of standing still to avoid birds doesn't reduce a guinea pig's likelihood of reproducing when kept indoors, then they will just stay like that forever.

                Here are the lyrics, too:
                https://www.letras.com/renata-flores/pachamama
                As you can see, it's mostly in that native shit with a little Spanish thrown in, as well.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Inca is the name of a historical empire, not a race. There are no more incas today, only their descendants, who are of the Andean race.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Inca is the name of a historical empire, not a race.
                Given by the colonisers, which is actually quite weird because the weird simply means "King" in Runasimi, the language of the Inca that is still used today. Its people never called themselves that. The native word was, is and continues to be Quechua to this day. Furthermore, it's not uncommon for descendants of colonisers in the region to refer to Quechua as Inca, even now.
                >Andean race
                I don't want to mock you but you're making it really, very difficult. There is no singular "Andean race."

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Incan Guinea piggie stirrup jar

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                The incans honestly did an amazing job domesticating these guys. After my experience with dwarf hamsters where every single one would always charge towards my hand to try to bite it no matter how long I've had them I was initially very afraid to let my hand near my guinea pigs' mouths, but I've since found out that I can literally hand feed them cauliflower or stick my hand in to break up fights with zero fear of getting bitten.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                One of the best things about having a Guinea pig is earning his trust. They cannot see very well so they have to pause and hearing check / smell check every other moment. The cautious behavior disappeared with my pigs because they learned their environment / I had to teach them not to be so scared. They might still get laggy if they’re put in a new environment, they are still prey animals which is ingrained pretty deeply.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      He a big boi

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      piggy videos make my sad sack 'o shit life a little better... especially squeaky vids.

  69. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Can anyone watch this video the whole way through without getting annoyed? This is the perfect encapsulation of the guinea pig. Slow, stupid, and living life as a turn-based strategy game instead of a real-time strategy game. Good luck!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Mini pigs, I love these little pups, was not annoyed.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        What about them do you love?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Different personalities, varying levels of intelligence, tiny fast legs, whisker sweepers, floppy ears, ridiculous social habits, ability to bond with humans, they are generally polite. If they wheek too loud I just speak to them at a low volume and they follow suit. They also catch on to things pretty quickly, never wheek during the day for food because they know I feed them around dinner etc. Can be toilet trained. They just want to snuggle, but if you show them new things they get very curious and their personality comes out. I give mine puzzles. My dumbest one actually ended up solving it first.
          My smartest one would walk around my 1st floor with me and just not go where it was dangerous on his own. They know their names, fhey also recognize faces/voices remembering who to follow around and who to trust
          They will love you unconditionally and probably forget 10 min later if you ever had to give them a shot or meds.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Okay, you're winning me over to the guinea pig.
            My remaining complaint with the guinea pig is how it stops to buffer every second. As if their cycle is "stop, think way too long, move, stop..." Do you notice this with your guinea pigs?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yes. I don't mind it. It means they're curious about things. If they're scared it excited, the frickers zoom without hesitation. They only stop when something has piqued their interest and they feel safe enough to stop and consider it

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >They only stop when something has piqued their interest and they feel safe enough to stop and consider it
                Do you ever find yourself frustrated with the speed at which they consider things? This is what makes it so hard for me to truly onboard the guinea pig into my life.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                No. I like them for what they are.
                I wish my son liked them. I'm the guy from s few months ago asking for advice on a new family pet after our dog, Deeoji (get it? D.O.G.) died but he doesn't want guinea pigs because he thinks "side eyes" are ugly.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >he doesn't want guinea pigs because he thinks "side eyes" are ugly.
                That's a shame. For as harsh as I've been on guinea pigs ITT, this isn't something I'd even deduct points on a guinea pig for.
                Well, guinea pigs have certainly moved up a grade or two in my personal tier list thanks to you.
                Cheers.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous
            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              >remaining complaint with the guinea pig is how it stops to buffer every second. As if their cycle is "stop, think way too long, move, stop..."

              ?si=mHkXx57IYfN0fzrd

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                He became self aware of his existence

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              >As if their cycle is "stop, think way too long, move, stop..."
              They're not really thinking, they're observing their surroundings and monitoring for predators. They have really poor eyesight so when they pause you can see their nose twitching, their sniffing for danger. If you watch guinea pigs in a comfortable and familiar surrounding they don't do the stop/start thing as much.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I agree they seem to have severe latency but aren't they literally newborns?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      What's wrong with you? It's just infant animals walking around. How fricking brainfried do you have to be to get angry over this?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Adorable and inquisitive. Honestly got more annoyed by the video that auto-loaded afterward with a dumb cat yelling at water.

  70. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    No

  71. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They're pleasant to look at tho.

  72. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  73. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I had twelve simultaneously. I built an enormous enclosure for them out of plexiglass, corner angle plastic thingies, aquarium glue and little silicon thingies to make dividers.
    They each had their own personalities, likes, dislikes and sounds.
    I can't tell you much about them being smart, dumb or what, just that they were pleasant creatures to have around. One especially lived my dad
    The rest of us she could take or leave but she absolutely loved my dad. They're the Sunday afternoon of pets. Just comfy animals.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I had twelve simultaneously
      Jesus Christ bro, I like guinea pigs but that's too God damn many.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Started with two. Neither I nor my parents (nor the wagie at the pet store) knew how to tell the sex when I got them. I was told they were both female. One was male.

        Your dad probably pet it too hard and vibrated her pussy

        Nah.
        After she gave birth to TEN FRICKING GUINEAS, the mother was completely emaciated and very close to death. My father and I literally hand fed her to get her weight back up. Likely the only nurturing thing he's ever done in his life and I had a brother in a wheelchair.
        They might be dumb animals, idk, but she definitely seemed to understand that she nearly died and this strange, giant creature went out of its way to help her.
        Thank goodness guinea pigs are born pretty much already fully formed, with fur, teeth, open eyes and everything. They were able to feed themselves without mother's milk and though they were physically tiny for guinea pigs (they'd fricking have to have been to be such a huge litter), they still seemed to grow at a normal rate, though they never got as big as either of their parents.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your dad probably pet it too hard and vibrated her pussy

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >male with a pornography addiction: I'm getting some serious pornography vibes in a thread about GUINEA PIGS.
        your pornography induced mind rot has already spread.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Why did you specify male? Don't be sexist

  74. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    i had a guinea pig but all his hair fell out and he died rip

  75. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Guinea pigs are awesome and hilarious to watch, Of course Manchildren who play video games will not like them. They are more for people with a spouse and children.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sounds like some kind of torture to have to deal with anything that pisses every 10 mins

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        that's why you keep them in the enclosure

        Your dad probably pet it too hard and vibrated her pussy

        have a nice day

  76. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    And they piss and shit every 10 minutes literally

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. That factors in somehow

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      wow thats literally me

  77. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    domestic guinea pigs are livestock they were bred to be very stupid. domestic rats were bred to be entertaining pets.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yup, this makes a whole lot of sense to me now!

      >he doesn't know

      What don't I know about?

      > Name me one other creature who is so stupid that if you didn't know any better, you'd think the video were buffering or that they grew up playing Counter-Strike on a dial-up modem

      Lol ball pythons are like this

      >Lol ball pythons are like this
      Excellent, another endearingly dumb creature to entertain myself with XD

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >domestic rats were bred to be entertaining pets.
      pretty sure they were bred to be guinea pigs

      haha get it?^^

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        haha

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >domestic rats were bred to be entertaining pets
      nope you moron

  78. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >he doesn't know

  79. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    > Name me one other creature who is so stupid that if you didn't know any better, you'd think the video were buffering or that they grew up playing Counter-Strike on a dial-up modem

    Lol ball pythons are like this

  80. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I’m assuming you’re talking cavia domesticus which is the domestic guinea pig. They are cute and their stupidity is endearing. They were also introduced as a cheap “guinea” pig, guinea being the currency, not the location. I’ve met a few piggies that were smart, and only one that was so frustratingly stupid. They also get very arrogant towards something 100x their size which is viewed as kinda cute.
    If you’re talking about their predecessors wild cavia from South America, they are fast little frickers with nasty teeth. Those teeth can kill each other and their smaller natural predators. They hide weakness extremely well. They have extensive memory for pathways so they can just disappear into undergrowth. They didn’t need to be that smart

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      week week week

      if it’s a rodent just assume it bites incredibly hard

  81. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    they were originally bred for meat and cannot survive in the wild
    i'd look into the behavior of their wild relatives, maybe they're less stupid

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >they were originally bred for meat and cannot survive in the wild
      Well, that sure explains it. I guess this pretty much answers my original question.

      I’m assuming you’re talking cavia domesticus which is the domestic guinea pig. They are cute and their stupidity is endearing. They were also introduced as a cheap “guinea” pig, guinea being the currency, not the location. I’ve met a few piggies that were smart, and only one that was so frustratingly stupid. They also get very arrogant towards something 100x their size which is viewed as kinda cute.
      If you’re talking about their predecessors wild cavia from South America, they are fast little frickers with nasty teeth. Those teeth can kill each other and their smaller natural predators. They hide weakness extremely well. They have extensive memory for pathways so they can just disappear into undergrowth. They didn’t need to be that smart

      >their stupidity is endearing.
      It really is.
      >They have extensive memory for pathways so they can just disappear into undergrowth. They didn’t need to be that smart
      Something about this is deeply amusing to me like they're the most idiotic creature known to man but they're also expert pathfinders

      Yea, Guinea pigs don’t get it lol. They are highly social animals but that stays within their herd. They have their own social cues and languages. Because they’re prey animals it’s not instinctive to them to play with another species. Guinea pig play is almost always social status oriented and done to establish dominance

      >Guinea pig play is almost always social status oriented and done to establish dominance
      I get it, and I'm sure it is so, but you have to understand that you've just composed probably the goofiest sentence I've heard in my entire life. I mean, just stare at the OP guinea pig image and think "this creature has established dominance over his fellow creatures" and you'll understand how bewildering this idea is.

      Also, guinea PIGS, HOG, kek

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >they were originally bred for meat and cannot survive in the wild
      Yes they can. If I go out around my neighborhood and dig around some holes I can find one of them for sure. Seen them plenty of times. They live in the same enviroments mice and small rats do. All from an escaped feral population.

      I want to try it, but the only way to get some here is to get a pet one and butcher it, but I assume pet lines are not good for meat, and while I have killed my own meat in several occasions before, I'm not comfortable with butchering one that was born to be a pet.

      You can eat pet breeds. They are pretty tasty. An uncle of mine bought some for his garden but the population got out of control. Then he proceeded to do some "culling". It is to chicken what venison is to beef, imo.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        god I wish my neighborhood had a population of feral guineas

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Highly recommend eating these guys. Ask around Peruvian restaurants.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        So you’re telling me, they are adorable social pets with lots to offer in life, then after death they can be a delicious meal too?

  82. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hamsters and capybaras are just as stupid. If you want a smart rodent, get a rat.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Take this video for example. This cat is TRYING to play with these two guinea pigs but they're so maddeningly slow and stupid that the cat actually seems to be concerned at how stupid they are. If a cat could write a Wauf thread, he'd be the one writing this very thread instead of me.

      Hamsters at least seem to have a faster clock cycle. Capybaras make up for it by providing actually utility to other animals in the wild. Capybaras are gentle giants that command respect -- watch how this pelican gets utterly denied by nothing more than a simple glare.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yea, Guinea pigs don’t get it lol. They are highly social animals but that stays within their herd. They have their own social cues and languages. Because they’re prey animals it’s not instinctive to them to play with another species. Guinea pig play is almost always social status oriented and done to establish dominance

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >watch how this pelican gets utterly denied by nothing more than a simple glare
        you're making shit up, the capys there don't care because the pelican is harmless, unable to pick one of them up

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I strongly disagree. The pelican doesn't need to be a threat to the capybaras nor vice versa for there to be a little prison yard bickering. It's not until the stronger capybara looks up and stares down the pelican that the pelican gets the message and quits giving the little capybara a hard time.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Capybaras are gentle giants that command respect -- watch how this pelican gets utterly denied by nothing more than a simple glare.
        You must go back.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Tell me how I'm wrong. I may sound like a Redditor in my enthusiasm but the evidence speaks for itself.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          NTA, but they can kill caimans. They aren't le heckin' cuddly animals

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            how

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              they have massive incisors and powerful jaw muscles

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            This is not an achievement, any caiman that aren’t black caiman are certified jobbers

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      domestic guinea pigs are livestock they were bred to be very stupid. domestic rats were bred to be entertaining pets.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        bump

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        that looks like a mouse tho

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          a mouse isn't that big

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe his desk, keyboard, and monitor are built by mice for mice!

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            https://i.imgur.com/NcOzVeY.jpg

            [...]

            Damn Mouse fingers typed those statements!

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            still too big

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Of course it's a mouse; mice are inside, rats are outside.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Of course it's a mouse; mice are inside, rats are outside.
            Source?

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              scary movie 3 you pleb

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Who care about intelligence. At least with guinea pigs you get more years to spend with them. Rats on the other hand break your heart every 2-3 years. Hopefully scientist in the far future mess with fancy rat dna so they can live good ten years.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >slow down their metabolism
        >they become dumber.

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