>taking care of buddy's dog for 6 weeks while he's away

>taking care of buddy's dog for 6 weeks while he's away
>under the impression that she's a dumb but sweet german shepherd
>one day discover she opened a closed door
>text buddy to let him know
>"oh yeah, she can do that, she's half husky"
>this was not information presented to me until weeks into my tenure taking care of the dog
>set up a camera in the house while I'm away
>she's been getting up to insane levels of shenanigans while I'm gone
>tfw I thought I was dealing with clifford the big red dog, but the entire time I was dealing with a velociraptor from jurassic park
On top of that, I've discovered that she knows some of what she does is wrong. Like, I'll notice something she got into, even just looking at it, and she immediately slinks away before I even react or say anything. If she knows what she did was wrong, why the frick does she do it?
I've never owned a dog before and I'm genuinely baffled. She's smart enough to do all this shit, to innately know that what she's doing will get her into trouble, and yet she still fricking does it.
WHY?

Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68

Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68

Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68

  1. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >posts a male german shepherd
    I hate how dogs always have giant fricking super noticeable dick pouches dangling off their stomachs. Why can't they be like cats and have such tiny weiners it's impossible to tell if a neutered male is female or not without closer inspection? Or at least not have their dick attached to their stomach like a normal animal? Horses have dicks, obviously, but they can keep them out of the way in normal circumstances.

    Female dogs are so much more aesthetic for that reason alone. Just spay them around their first or second heat so they don't get saggy breasts in old age, or the dreaded permanent distended c**t that some breeds suffer from, but still grow their bones properly.

    Captcha: mmpd0g

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >posts a male german shepherd
      I'm gonna be honest man, I wasn't paying that close of attention

  2. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >taking care of buddy's dog for 6 weeks while he's away
    >under the impression that she's a dumb but sweet german shepherd
    You just know

  3. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    My family had a GSD when I was a kid who was smart enough not only open doors, but to unlock the god damn front door with her teeth while pawing the handle. They had to install one of those hinged things that go over it

  4. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    >go weeks without noticing anything is amiss
    >discover shenanigans only after setting up cameras to watch while you're gone
    So what's the problem? She's not doing anything destructive enough for you to take notice. Sounds like she's just exploring because she's bored

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >So what's the problem? She's not doing anything destructive enough for you to take notice.
      She was getting into trash with garlic in it, she could kill herself like that

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        If she’s weighs at least 45 lbs (a little over 20kg) then it would take eating somewhere around the equivalent of 43 to 204 cloves of garlic within a few days to potentially have toxic effects.
        Stuff that might kill her would be something that only needs small doses- like xylitol. It’s a sweetener that’s in a surprising number of things, like certain peanut butters, toothpaste, and gum.

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          >it would take eating somewhere around the equivalent of 43 to 204 cloves of garlic within a few days to potentially have toxic effects.
          It was powdered, I use garlic powder in almost everything I cook, and the powdered is far more lethal

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            If she’s weighs at least 45 lbs (a little over 20kg) then it would take eating somewhere around the equivalent of 43 to 204 cloves of garlic within a few days to potentially have toxic effects.
            Stuff that might kill her would be something that only needs small doses- like xylitol. It’s a sweetener that’s in a surprising number of things, like certain peanut butters, toothpaste, and gum.

            >So what's the problem? She's not doing anything destructive enough for you to take notice.
            She was getting into trash with garlic in it, she could kill herself like that

            >garlic can kill dogs
            So are dogs vampires then?

            • 10 months ago
              Anonymous

              Nah, allium plants are just really destructive to their blood vessels, in the most extreme cases they can need a blood transfusion

              • 10 months ago
                Anonymous

                I heard they also can frick up cats if they'd eat things spiced with garic too

  5. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    How do I get them to stop digging holes?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      The most effective method will vary depending on “why” they are digging the hole.
      Is it a hole to lay down in because it’s too fricking hot outside?
      Is it digging to catch small underground animals?
      Is it digging to get under a fence to escape or under a building for shelter?
      Is it just random holes because it’s bored?

  6. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    I really dislike the way dogs can lie.

  7. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    GSDs are very clever. They can just be like that sometimes. Mine taught himself to open doors too. He can open all the doors at our vet office because he generalized the behaviour by himself as well.

    Impulse control is something that must be trained, though. It's not something dogs innately have. I have a baby gate to prevent the dog getting places I don't want him. He hasn't figured it out because opening it requires two different, simultaneous actions. To be fair to him, I've seen people stumped by this baby gate, in spite of repeatedly showing them how to use it.

  8. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    How in the FRICK do you get these bastards to stop chewing on shit? homosexual techniques on youtube that use excessive amount of treats didn’t work and I hate to get an ecollar

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Any hot sauce equal or hotter than Tabasco habanero sauce. Be liberal with it and accept that you will spend some months with hot sauce on half your belongings. It needs to be regularly reapplied.

      Remember to wash your hands after handling hot sauce.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        [...]
        Or use anti-bite spray. It's basically the same thing but it's super bitter instead of super hot and won't leave a hot saucey stain or smell on your things.

        >spraying/pouring liquids on electrical cables
        Not sure if you were memeing but I like the idea but too bad it’s not possible with electronics

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          if you have exposed cables, you have bigger problems

          • 10 months ago
            Anonymous

            My other dog did chew an electrical cable once. He never did it again. I'm surprised he didn't die. He certainly yelped, though. I kept my GSDs away from cables until they were through the chewing everything phase. Puppy-proofing the house and baby-proofing the house are very similar in some regards.

            But with treasured electronics, you carefully paint select parts of the cases that are accessible or may be attractive to a diligent chewer, and avoid spots that are vulnerable to water damage. If your shit's all frayed and exposed, I'm afraid I have to agree with [...]. But you don't just splash or spray it everywhere indiscriminately anyway, you highlight spots that are most likely to be chewed, or are already suffering damage, and you treat them as needed. Use an actual artist's paintbrush and be very precise.

            Not exposed wires sorry meant I was skeptical about using the technique on electronics indoors that we use daily such as charging cables and controllers. Whenever we let them indoors(they have their own space outdoors and sleep deck) they’re ok but after a while they get the habit of getting curious and start grabbing stuff. Appreciate the advice, I’m going to buy a couple of decoy items and slab them with spicy stuff like a cheap usb cable or dollar toy and put it on the desk

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          My other dog did chew an electrical cable once. He never did it again. I'm surprised he didn't die. He certainly yelped, though. I kept my GSDs away from cables until they were through the chewing everything phase. Puppy-proofing the house and baby-proofing the house are very similar in some regards.

          But with treasured electronics, you carefully paint select parts of the cases that are accessible or may be attractive to a diligent chewer, and avoid spots that are vulnerable to water damage. If your shit's all frayed and exposed, I'm afraid I have to agree with

          if you have exposed cables, you have bigger problems

          . But you don't just splash or spray it everywhere indiscriminately anyway, you highlight spots that are most likely to be chewed, or are already suffering damage, and you treat them as needed. Use an actual artist's paintbrush and be very precise.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Any hot sauce equal or hotter than Tabasco habanero sauce. Be liberal with it and accept that you will spend some months with hot sauce on half your belongings. It needs to be regularly reapplied.

      Remember to wash your hands after handling hot sauce.

      Or use anti-bite spray. It's basically the same thing but it's super bitter instead of super hot and won't leave a hot saucey stain or smell on your things.

  9. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Does the dog lick your face?

  10. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    >WHY
    They're mischievous to get your attention

  11. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    They are cheeky and unthinking in the moment. The same way you were as a little toddler and you decided to get into the snack cabinet.
    I had moments of purely primitive brain when left alone all the way up until I was like 15. I broke a glass bottle in the middle of the road while getting left alone to do yardwork for the neighbors, and watched some guy frick their shit and immediately felt horribly guilty, but got away otherwise.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >They are cheeky and unthinking in the moment. The same way you were as a little toddler and you decided to get into the snack cabinet.
      And like, I get that, but the problem is that there is a significant communication barrier with a dog vs a child. I really cannot figure out how to keep her safe while I'm out without locking shit down to an insane degree or just putting her in her kennel. I really want to avoid the latter but I will if I need too.

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      >They are cheeky and unthinking in the moment. The same way you were as a little toddler and you decided to get into the snack cabinet.
      And like, I get that, but the problem is that there is a significant communication barrier with a dog vs a child. I really cannot figure out how to keep her safe while I'm out without locking shit down to an insane degree or just putting her in her kennel. I really want to avoid the latter but I will if I need too.

      Like, take a child or dog interacting with a wasp. With a child, I can pull them aside and explain in simple terms that the wasp will sting them if they touch it, and I can communicate the risk to them. With a dog, it won't understand and the only way to teach it is to let the fricker get stung

  12. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    Large dogs are sapient

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's actually causing me issues now, I've had food waste with fricking garlic in a pantry trash can, and now I have to worry about whether the moronic genius poisoned herself at some point. Who fricking knows what she's eaten or done in the last 3 weeks?

    • 11 months ago
      Anonymous

      Are you obsessed with size?
      Do you believe a miniature poodle is less intelligent than a Husky?

      • 11 months ago
        Anonymous

        A miniature poodle is less intelligent than a husky.
        >inb4 obedience tard
        Huskies are even smarter than australian shepherds, labs, and standard poodles. They are among the smartest dogs on earth.

        • 11 months ago
          Anonymous

          I never said that Huskies are stupid but stating that small dogs aren't sapient is stupid.

  13. 11 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'll save you guys the time, yes, I got fricking outsmarted by a dog for weeks.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I've never owned a dog before and I'm genuinely baffled. She's smart enough to do all this shit, to innately know that what she's doing will get her into trouble, and yet she still fricking does it.
      WHY?
      Because they are closer to humans than you think. Having a smart dog is like having a 6yo human child. They'll sneak about and do things they know they aren't supposed to (and like some adults, too)

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *