Does anyone have any experience owning a monkey/primate as a pet? Which one would make the best? From what I can tell the ‘pocket monkeys’ are the most feasible to actually own
Monkeys as Pets
Does anyone have any experience owning a monkey/primate as a pet? Which one would make the best? From what I can tell the ‘pocket monkeys’ are the most feasible to actually own
why the frick got this post deleted? it literally just had a pic of that guy's face, nothing explicit.
didn't this guy actually frick them on camera too?
What's not to love about them?
how strange…
When you wake up in your cage and remember you are alive.
It's cruel to have wild animals like monkeys as pets and you are funding wildlife traffickers
Not all wild animals are unreceptive to captivity. In the case of monkeys though yeah they have a lot of needs that are hard to keep up with. There are also legal outlets to get them so you aren’t always supporting poachers
We outlawed slavery, monkeys are citizens now.
you’re thinking of the other ‘monkeys’…
That sauce has already been posted here, see
.
Pitiful
I have a grandma more psycho than judge judy who owned a capuchin as a child. Her family was rich, it had a big cage and everything it needed. Was still totally fricked up. Has lots of stories. This is not something a sane person should do.
>Has lots of stories
We’d all like to hear some if you don’t mind
Poor capuchin, only baby longtail macaques deserve pity
>there's an archive made by karenmafia with billions of videos
>all the links are dead
Owning a longtail macaque, known as a monpai (beach monkey - monyet pantai) can be highly rewarding. Important knowledge for owners:
1. Barang Walash!
Owners are told to accompany their primates to the place where they are kept. The monpai needs to get used to his new surroundings and be socialized. This is to avoid behavioural problems.
2. Highest breaking and highest punish – Tandegan!
There are six difficult toys used for monkeys, of which three are heavy enough to hurt the monkey and the other three less so. An adult monkey should be punished with two of these.
3. Pity !
A monkey should be raised in a cage without any food provided. If left with the food in the cage, then the monkey will begin to hunger and spend most of his time trying to steal the food. The owner can also try to get a high number of pigeons, those familiar with a monkey. The monkey then cannot eat them.
The monpai goes through periods of mothering, jealousy and dependence.
4. Most broken cuckniel monkey in Borneo !!!
The owner needs to take responsibility for his monkey and see the consequences. Even though, mother and baby macaques may live under the same roof, the mother monkey should not be let out of the cage. If they escape, the baby will take over the care of the mother, which is impossible.
5. Most reliable form of birth control – suckling in utero!!
A cage with six to seven monkeys should be abandoned immediately after giving birth.
6. Least expensive form of birth control – Touching the rectum!
Not one but at least two monkeys should be left with no food or shelter.
Chat link for more info?
i found the brutal ones holy shit i didn't know they were so bad.
Link?
this one was the 2nd most brutal, not linking the other:
https://cos.tv/videos/play/43800606961341440
how'd you find it? Google isn't giving me anything.
The second part was too far, but the fire ant jar was funny. For some reason monkeys and jars guarantee kino.
First half is good, second half is trash
Often, the rat won‘t let go of its plushy toy. Here‘s a video on how to deal with its compulsive clinging behaviour: https://youtu.be/KDtUzMs81sY
If you have two diaper goblins you can teach them patience by feeding one monke in front of the other: https://youtu.be/G9J5DAM2d0s
Kudos 2 HeadFlick6673
I need more videos like this with baby monkeys, but more brutal
How would you make teasing more brutal, Mr. Satantrips?
Return the plushie toy but with needles in it.
>but more brutal
Frick off, your kind is what ruined pity and killed it for good
>ruined pity
???
I mean goregays, pity got into the mainstream and thus, got targeted by the police, because people started paying for gore videos, if pity stayed as bizarre youtube videos, we would still be living in the golden ages of Mundo and rat master
Sir, this is the Animals & Nature board.
You are now ranting about "pity" in 2 threads.d
Wauf is a pity board
No it is a husky-fricker board. The pity board is
Ok i take it back, that's based
>that plushy video
They really are like human children. I feel bad for the little guy because he shouldn't be in a cage but how can you not find that autistic screeching funny?
marmosets are the easiest to get ahold of iirc
Incredible thread.
What the frick. With how Josh spergs out on his livestreams on anything remotely rainbow adjacent subverting websites or communities I would have thought he would be paranoid enough to vet his jannies
That would definitely be a pretty recent development as far as I know. Must have happened after they got booted off the cloud or something
One of the oldest jannies since before the cloudflare drama is trans. Not sure why that matters, though.
It matters because moralgayging trannies should be mocked and not taken seriously. They also weaponize and spam CP to get shit taken down (while calling others pedophiles).
Seething kiwitroons just honestly made me like pity even more.
You are confusing a small handful of terminally online drama queens with all trans people. You didn't even know they were on kf and suddenly it's a problem for you.
ywnbaw
I don't see pity as a problem. They're just monkeys. You can see all sorts of videos on the internet of people being tortured and killed in horrific ways and the dumb fricks who b***h about monkey torture are nowhere to be found when those are posted. Or if they are, they actively defend it because "well akshully humans are evil and animals are innocent, if a human is getting his face peeled off by mexicans he obviously did something to deserve it."
>Also you got a source on them specifically weaponising CP shit?
How fricking new are you to the internet? Spamming CP has been the go-to basement dweller attack for decades now. Want something removed from the internet? Spam CP on it and it will be gone. Kiwitrannies didn't invent this tactic, but like most terminally online basement dwellers, they make use of it.
It's not a coincidence that as soon as kiwitroons picked up on pity that pity boards on other chans started getting spammed with CP. There is also the way that kiwitroons talk about pitygays, insisting that they are actually pedophiles who are getting off to pity as a proxy for human children. They insist on this so hard and so vehemently that it comes across as massive projection.
So your source of the kiwis spamming CP is a hunch and you are moronic enough to not know that zoosadism has heavy overlap with sadistic pedophilia forensically. Combined with the fact that these are a baby monkeys which are as close as you can get to a hominid. Anecdotally the few times I have seen a video related to pity shit there is always an anon who says how "interesting" it is to how close baby monkeys are to humans.
Thanks for outing yourself as a moronic edge lord.
>So your source of the kiwis spamming CP is a hunch
No, it's noticing that after kiwitrannies started talking about monkey torture, boards on sites such as 0chan that previously only contained monkey videos were flooded by CP.
>you are moronic enough to not know that zoosadism has heavy overlap with sadistic pedophilia forensically
Okay? Doesn't mean that everybody who laughs at monkey eye drill videos is a pedophile. I'd wager most aren't. Unlike trannies, who ARE mostly pedophiles.
>Combined with the fact that these are a baby monkeys which are as close as you can get to a hominid
If I wanted to see hominids dying or being tortured I can go to literally any rekt thread on /b/ or /gif/. I have seen people post videos of children being shot in the head, or run over by semi trucks. Nobody flips out over those. Even the same people who were seething about pity would post gifs of a black kid getting shot in the face in monkey threads. Also plenty of threads on this site featuring other animals being killed or mutilated, such as dogs.
>Anecdotally the few times I have seen a video related to pity shit there is always an anon who says how "interesting" it is to how close baby monkeys are to humans.
Of course weird sick fricks like that exist. But it's not a reason to assume that EVERYBODY who likes watching monkeys get the shit beaten out of them thinks the same way.
I see them as nothing like humans. A human baby is of far greater intelligence, potential, and thus worth than any animal on the planet.
>Thanks for outing yourself as a moronic edge lord.
I never claimed I wasn't edgy.
You do claim that you aren't a man, though, despite obviously being one.
where‘s the red-faced monkey Anon to take it on that nonce?
He ran away because no one took him seriously an told him he would never be yardfish because he has zero charisma
Not him but c’mon dude, most transgenders absolutely behave like that. It’s why any online place that has them in any real numbers invariably goes to shit. Regardless this doesn’t matter, pretty sure the OP isn’t a ‘pitygay’ or whatever so it’s all moot
...so you are basically trying to self justify the very real problem of monkey torture rings? Also you got a source on them specifically weaponising CP shit?
KEK this fricking pitygay
everyone should ignore this post
>unironically linking to troonyfarms
There are even trannies in that thread lmao
Macaques are friendly from what I know
Don’t know about keeping one as a pet
op considers to have a monkey as a pet, not an ape.
get a chimp and set it loose in a public area
Tamarins are cool to me. Love their funny mustaches
Do spider monkeys and humans get along well? Never want to own a monkey but I always thought those guys were cool, they're the "main monkey" to me.
Squirrel monkeys and Tamarins seem like the most fun. Heard both are noisy annoying frickers though.
stealthy pitygay thread
What
Get one of the pocket monkeys, wait for to grow full size (don’t want to kill it), then use it as a pocket pussy. Report your findings back here.
Here I googled it for you why that childish idea.
>pisses everywhere
>shits everywhere
>screams
>bites
why not just make your own human infant at that point
oh wait
Only do it if you have the option to always be at home because they are very high maintenance. It's like taking care of a toddler for 20 years straight. I'd go with a brown capuchin or Japanese macaque.
Damn. The eyes look like peoples
Get two females and build them a large indoor/outdoor enclosure. People struggle with monkeys because they try to keep them as housepets.
Pretty much this
Not worth the hassle honestly
Unless you’re already rich and can afford to have someone look after them or something
What the frick is the big deal with monkeys? In the wild they eat and sit around all day. Why do pet monkeys need to be chaperonedd? Teach them how to turn the TV on and watch monkeys mating all day.
They have no concept of someone temporarily leaving to go to work or an infrequent guest visiting. The group sticks together and if they get lonely or encounter someone they aren't familiar with then they go insane. A monkey that is tame and loves you might still try to rip Grandma's face off.
wasn't this drawn before gorillas were scientifically documented, too?
Chimps arnt even monkeys.
You’re right we call them ‘human’ nowadays I guess
capuchins are the cutest but they’re the biggest trouble makers too I think
even if you could afford it though, chimps are just an outright bad idea unless you’re looking to be killed
Really? Explain more please. They seem chill.
>greg
The best option is a baby longtail macaque, you can even become rich with it if you play your cards right
>you can even become rich with it if you play your cards right
Elaborate
"Rich" by southeast Asian standards. You'll be able to afford walls for your hut.
Buy chimps and enter them into fighting rings in third world countries. Boom. Easy money.