Monkeys as Pets

Does anyone have any experience owning a monkey/primate as a pet? Which one would make the best? From what I can tell the ‘pocket monkeys’ are the most feasible to actually own

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  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    why the frick got this post deleted? it literally just had a pic of that guy's face, nothing explicit.

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    didn't this guy actually frick them on camera too?

  3. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      What's not to love about them?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      how strange…

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      When you wake up in your cage and remember you are alive.

  4. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's cruel to have wild animals like monkeys as pets and you are funding wildlife traffickers

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not all wild animals are unreceptive to captivity. In the case of monkeys though yeah they have a lot of needs that are hard to keep up with. There are also legal outlets to get them so you aren’t always supporting poachers

  5. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    We outlawed slavery, monkeys are citizens now.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      you’re thinking of the other ‘monkeys’…

  6. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      That sauce has already been posted here, see

      Often, the rat won‘t let go of its plushy toy. Here‘s a video on how to deal with its compulsive clinging behaviour: https://youtu.be/KDtUzMs81sY

      If you have two diaper goblins you can teach them patience by feeding one monke in front of the other: https://youtu.be/G9J5DAM2d0s

      Kudos 2 HeadFlick6673

      .

  7. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Pitiful

  8. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    I have a grandma more psycho than judge judy who owned a capuchin as a child. Her family was rich, it had a big cage and everything it needed. Was still totally fricked up. Has lots of stories. This is not something a sane person should do.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Has lots of stories
      We’d all like to hear some if you don’t mind

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Poor capuchin, only baby longtail macaques deserve pity

  9. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >there's an archive made by karenmafia with billions of videos
    >all the links are dead

  10. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Owning a longtail macaque, known as a monpai (beach monkey - monyet pantai) can be highly rewarding. Important knowledge for owners:

    1. Barang Walash!

    Owners are told to accompany their primates to the place where they are kept. The monpai needs to get used to his new surroundings and be socialized. This is to avoid behavioural problems.

    2. Highest breaking and highest punish – Tandegan!

    There are six difficult toys used for monkeys, of which three are heavy enough to hurt the monkey and the other three less so. An adult monkey should be punished with two of these.

    3. Pity !

    A monkey should be raised in a cage without any food provided. If left with the food in the cage, then the monkey will begin to hunger and spend most of his time trying to steal the food. The owner can also try to get a high number of pigeons, those familiar with a monkey. The monkey then cannot eat them.

    The monpai goes through periods of mothering, jealousy and dependence.

    4. Most broken cuckniel monkey in Borneo !!!

    The owner needs to take responsibility for his monkey and see the consequences. Even though, mother and baby macaques may live under the same roof, the mother monkey should not be let out of the cage. If they escape, the baby will take over the care of the mother, which is impossible.

    5. Most reliable form of birth control – suckling in utero!!

    A cage with six to seven monkeys should be abandoned immediately after giving birth.

    6. Least expensive form of birth control – Touching the rectum!

    Not one but at least two monkeys should be left with no food or shelter.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      [...]

      Chat link for more info?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        i found the brutal ones holy shit i didn't know they were so bad.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Link?

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            this one was the 2nd most brutal, not linking the other:

            https://cos.tv/videos/play/43800606961341440

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              how'd you find it? Google isn't giving me anything.
              The second part was too far, but the fire ant jar was funny. For some reason monkeys and jars guarantee kino.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              First half is good, second half is trash

  11. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Often, the rat won‘t let go of its plushy toy. Here‘s a video on how to deal with its compulsive clinging behaviour: https://youtu.be/KDtUzMs81sY

    If you have two diaper goblins you can teach them patience by feeding one monke in front of the other: https://youtu.be/G9J5DAM2d0s

    Kudos 2 HeadFlick6673

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I need more videos like this with baby monkeys, but more brutal

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        How would you make teasing more brutal, Mr. Satantrips?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          Return the plushie toy but with needles in it.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        >but more brutal
        Frick off, your kind is what ruined pity and killed it for good

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          >ruined pity
          ???

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            I mean goregays, pity got into the mainstream and thus, got targeted by the police, because people started paying for gore videos, if pity stayed as bizarre youtube videos, we would still be living in the golden ages of Mundo and rat master

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              Sir, this is the Animals & Nature board.
              You are now ranting about "pity" in 2 threads.d

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                Wauf is a pity board

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                No it is a husky-fricker board. The pity board is

                [...]

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Return the plushie toy but with needles in it.

        Ok i take it back, that's based

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >that plushy video
      They really are like human children. I feel bad for the little guy because he shouldn't be in a cage but how can you not find that autistic screeching funny?

  12. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    marmosets are the easiest to get ahold of iirc

  13. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Incredible thread.

  14. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    What the frick. With how Josh spergs out on his livestreams on anything remotely rainbow adjacent subverting websites or communities I would have thought he would be paranoid enough to vet his jannies

  15. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    That would definitely be a pretty recent development as far as I know. Must have happened after they got booted off the cloud or something

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      One of the oldest jannies since before the cloudflare drama is trans. Not sure why that matters, though.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        It matters because moralgayging trannies should be mocked and not taken seriously. They also weaponize and spam CP to get shit taken down (while calling others pedophiles).
        Seething kiwitroons just honestly made me like pity even more.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          You are confusing a small handful of terminally online drama queens with all trans people. You didn't even know they were on kf and suddenly it's a problem for you.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            ywnbaw

            ...so you are basically trying to self justify the very real problem of monkey torture rings? Also you got a source on them specifically weaponising CP shit?

            I don't see pity as a problem. They're just monkeys. You can see all sorts of videos on the internet of people being tortured and killed in horrific ways and the dumb fricks who b***h about monkey torture are nowhere to be found when those are posted. Or if they are, they actively defend it because "well akshully humans are evil and animals are innocent, if a human is getting his face peeled off by mexicans he obviously did something to deserve it."
            >Also you got a source on them specifically weaponising CP shit?
            How fricking new are you to the internet? Spamming CP has been the go-to basement dweller attack for decades now. Want something removed from the internet? Spam CP on it and it will be gone. Kiwitrannies didn't invent this tactic, but like most terminally online basement dwellers, they make use of it.
            It's not a coincidence that as soon as kiwitroons picked up on pity that pity boards on other chans started getting spammed with CP. There is also the way that kiwitroons talk about pitygays, insisting that they are actually pedophiles who are getting off to pity as a proxy for human children. They insist on this so hard and so vehemently that it comes across as massive projection.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              So your source of the kiwis spamming CP is a hunch and you are moronic enough to not know that zoosadism has heavy overlap with sadistic pedophilia forensically. Combined with the fact that these are a baby monkeys which are as close as you can get to a hominid. Anecdotally the few times I have seen a video related to pity shit there is always an anon who says how "interesting" it is to how close baby monkeys are to humans.

              Thanks for outing yourself as a moronic edge lord.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                >So your source of the kiwis spamming CP is a hunch
                No, it's noticing that after kiwitrannies started talking about monkey torture, boards on sites such as 0chan that previously only contained monkey videos were flooded by CP.
                >you are moronic enough to not know that zoosadism has heavy overlap with sadistic pedophilia forensically
                Okay? Doesn't mean that everybody who laughs at monkey eye drill videos is a pedophile. I'd wager most aren't. Unlike trannies, who ARE mostly pedophiles.
                >Combined with the fact that these are a baby monkeys which are as close as you can get to a hominid
                If I wanted to see hominids dying or being tortured I can go to literally any rekt thread on /b/ or /gif/. I have seen people post videos of children being shot in the head, or run over by semi trucks. Nobody flips out over those. Even the same people who were seething about pity would post gifs of a black kid getting shot in the face in monkey threads. Also plenty of threads on this site featuring other animals being killed or mutilated, such as dogs.
                >Anecdotally the few times I have seen a video related to pity shit there is always an anon who says how "interesting" it is to how close baby monkeys are to humans.
                Of course weird sick fricks like that exist. But it's not a reason to assume that EVERYBODY who likes watching monkeys get the shit beaten out of them thinks the same way.
                I see them as nothing like humans. A human baby is of far greater intelligence, potential, and thus worth than any animal on the planet.
                >Thanks for outing yourself as a moronic edge lord.
                I never claimed I wasn't edgy.
                You do claim that you aren't a man, though, despite obviously being one.

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                where‘s the red-faced monkey Anon to take it on that nonce?

              • 4 months ago
                Anonymous

                He ran away because no one took him seriously an told him he would never be yardfish because he has zero charisma

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            Not him but c’mon dude, most transgenders absolutely behave like that. It’s why any online place that has them in any real numbers invariably goes to shit. Regardless this doesn’t matter, pretty sure the OP isn’t a ‘pitygay’ or whatever so it’s all moot

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          ...so you are basically trying to self justify the very real problem of monkey torture rings? Also you got a source on them specifically weaponising CP shit?

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          KEK this fricking pitygay

          everyone should ignore this post

  16. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >unironically linking to troonyfarms
    There are even trannies in that thread lmao

  17. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Macaques are friendly from what I know
    Don’t know about keeping one as a pet

  18. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      op considers to have a monkey as a pet, not an ape.

  19. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    get a chimp and set it loose in a public area

  20. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tamarins are cool to me. Love their funny mustaches

  21. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do spider monkeys and humans get along well? Never want to own a monkey but I always thought those guys were cool, they're the "main monkey" to me.

  22. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Squirrel monkeys and Tamarins seem like the most fun. Heard both are noisy annoying frickers though.

  23. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    stealthy pitygay thread

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      What

  24. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get one of the pocket monkeys, wait for to grow full size (don’t want to kill it), then use it as a pocket pussy. Report your findings back here.

  25. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Here I googled it for you why that childish idea.

  26. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    >pisses everywhere
    >shits everywhere
    >screams
    >bites
    why not just make your own human infant at that point
    oh wait

  27. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Only do it if you have the option to always be at home because they are very high maintenance. It's like taking care of a toddler for 20 years straight. I'd go with a brown capuchin or Japanese macaque.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Damn. The eyes look like peoples

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Get two females and build them a large indoor/outdoor enclosure. People struggle with monkeys because they try to keep them as housepets.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty much this
      Not worth the hassle honestly
      Unless you’re already rich and can afford to have someone look after them or something

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        What the frick is the big deal with monkeys? In the wild they eat and sit around all day. Why do pet monkeys need to be chaperonedd? Teach them how to turn the TV on and watch monkeys mating all day.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          They have no concept of someone temporarily leaving to go to work or an infrequent guest visiting. The group sticks together and if they get lonely or encounter someone they aren't familiar with then they go insane. A monkey that is tame and loves you might still try to rip Grandma's face off.

  28. 4 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      wasn't this drawn before gorillas were scientifically documented, too?

  29. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Chimps arnt even monkeys.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      You’re right we call them ‘human’ nowadays I guess

  30. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    capuchins are the cutest but they’re the biggest trouble makers too I think
    even if you could afford it though, chimps are just an outright bad idea unless you’re looking to be killed

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Really? Explain more please. They seem chill.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >greg

  31. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    The best option is a baby longtail macaque, you can even become rich with it if you play your cards right

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      >you can even become rich with it if you play your cards right
      Elaborate

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        "Rich" by southeast Asian standards. You'll be able to afford walls for your hut.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/ShyIhyS.jpg

      Does anyone have any experience owning a monkey/primate as a pet? Which one would make the best? From what I can tell the ‘pocket monkeys’ are the most feasible to actually own

      Buy chimps and enter them into fighting rings in third world countries. Boom. Easy money.

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