Jonathan the Seychelles Giant Tortoise recently turned 191, setting the record as the oldest known chelonian.

Jonathan the Seychelles Giant Tortoise recently turned 191, setting the record as the oldest known chelonian. Born in 1832, he resides on St. Helena, having experienced 40 US presidents and 31 St. Helena governors, spanning eras from Queen Victoria to both World Wars.

His longevity spans from a slow metabolism.

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  1. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    >having experienced 40 US presidents and 31 St. Helena governors
    prostitute.

  2. 6 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      >must go faster

  3. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    do scientists never extract blood and try create potions that'd work in humans like this

    The same with octopuses being able to blend in with the environment. Is there never research happening to learn how it's done and somehow create the process

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      yeah, its called "go kill your self, you stupid moron, what the frick is wrong with you that you are asking moronic questions"

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        Frick off. Those abilities would be cool

  4. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I fricking love this guy, tortoises just seem so nice

  5. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tortoises are so cool, bros.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      very true

  6. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    May he live for a thousand years

  7. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    is this the tortoise that also has gay sex with other male tortoises

  8. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I know people like to celebrate these things but the cynic in me just imagines some rich old Chinese fart paying people to track this tortoise down so he can grind it into powder to try and make his penis larger.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      don't give them any ideas frickwad

  9. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is he in pain?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      No. Reptiles don't age like mammals. Typically tortoises this old die from something like a broken shell.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        So what causes the death of tortoise usually? Disease? I mean this Jonathan tortoise is nearly 200 years old and doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Like I said, typically misadventure. I'm not certain if they're functionally immortal, but they're pretty close. Similar to lobsters. Lobsters don't die of old age, at some point they just have a bad molt and that's it.

  10. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    If I eat him will I gain longlife?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      No, but it will add to your social credit score.

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