If doggos are so smart then why has no one thought of using them for pizza delivery?

If doggos are so smart then why has no one thought of using them for pizza delivery?

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  1. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ok, dogs for pizza delivery are out, EVEN if we mix glass shards in the pizza, for reasons we've already discussed. But how about carrier pigeons? A carrier pigeon can carry a payload up to 2.5oz. That means that a team of eight birds could potentially deliver a 20oz pizza one slice at a time. Thoughts?

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pigeons only go home. Carrier pigeons work by taking them away from their home, attaching a message, and then releasing them to go fly back home. It doesn’t make sense to drive your team of pigeons to the pizza place so they can fly you back a pizza later.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        TWO CROWS

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          I think those are more likely to just steal and eat a pizza from a child’s birthday party and only bring you back some half-eaten crust.

  2. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because dogs, no matter how well you train them, do whatever they want when you're not looking and they think they won't get caught.

  3. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Meant cognition.

  4. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because they are not smart. Comparative cigbition research have shown they are pretty much on par with most animals, they pnly becam good at understanding human gestures and being subordinate due milenia of selective breeding. They are the ultimate bootlicker, that makes many people think is intelligence but it isn't.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      They are literally four times as smart as cats and on par with a small monkey. Wolves are smarter still.

      People ignore this because even the ones who say what you do also believe intelligence and obedience are somehow related and maybe the least obedient animal is the smart one. No animals understand abstract concepts of freedom and dignity... humans don't either, it's an ex post facto rationalization of a standard dominance struggle and the freest man will gladly take on followers.

      Trainability directly correlates with intelligence. It is literally learning and problem solving. Obedience itself is another story, that's the willingness to perform learned tasks for little reward and can be manipulated freely depending on how readily the animal recognizes you as part of the dominance struggle. If they do, contrary to doggay beliefs, that means you're fricked, not them! Tell me, are dolphins too smart to be trained? No. Are chimps? No, but they also recognize you as another primate and therefore a legitimate target in the dominance struggle.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        You have a very low brow understanding of intelligence and how it can be measured.
        You probably think that high IQ people are the smartest people in the world too.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >cigbition
      >pnly becam
      >due milenia
      Anon I don't want to turn this thread into an intervention, but please put down the box of wine.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        that mess isn't just wine, that's gas huffing

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        that mess isn't just wine, that's gas huffing

        Reminds me of a screencap where some anon was spouting nonsense and somebody told hime to check the stove or (some other appliance, I don't remember exactly) and the thing was malfunctioning.
        Wauf saved him from dieing of carbon monoxide poisoning.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          i think that was either a twitter or tumblr thread. some lunatic made a post along the lines of "no more memes, after reviewing my posts they took a turn around the time i moved into [address] and just had a gas line repaired"

  5. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    i want to pet that pizza and eat those dogs

  6. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    dogs can't read google maps to know where to deliver the pizza

  7. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dogs are fricking moronic

  8. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    they're smart enough to eat the pizza

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      What if you put glass shards in the pizza to teach them not to eat it?

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      So would I.

      What if you put glass shards in the pizza to teach them not to eat it?

      You can't learn anything if you're dead.

      [...]

      >The left dog is such a cutie
      Yes.
      >i want to cuddle him
      Me too.
      >genetically engineer him to become a furry and then frick him.
      Disgusting.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        humans recognize the opportunity cost of getting fired over eating the pizza

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          I didn't like this job anyway, the pizza is worth it.

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