I just got attacked by a goose, it was humiliating

Got attacked by a goose in a parking lot. Went to pick up thai food for dinner. I didn't walk erratically or anything. Minding my own business, headphone on. Got attacked by a goose between the car and the thai place, then the guy at the restaurant said that the goose has been acting up in the parking lot lately and attacking randos. The bugger flew around the height of my height and bit my hand a couple times, I ran for my life to the car. I heard some buttholes laughing, I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up on Tiktok comedy videos.

1. What did I do wrong?
2. Is there any household item I can carry to protect myself

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  1. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    A doe pushed me over and stole my minerals.

  2. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    An umbrella would work. Also don't run, stay put and walk away when the fricker gets bored.

  3. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Geese lack any ability to cause real damage, it is all bluster. Wait for it to come in for a strike, grab the head, and twist it right off the neck. Take it home and enjoy the delicious dinner.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Illegal.

  4. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know if it applies to geese but it applies to a lot of other animals. If something is trying to frick with you, just stand your ground because running encourages whatever they're doing. Obviously if something charges you to kill you, get out the fricking way, but a lot of animals will just swoop at your or play chicken to get you to frick off and if you do run then they'll chase you to make sure you frick off.
    Now I'm not saying grab it by it's neck and slam it off the concrete, just don't let it act like a c**t. If it flies in at you just push it off and walk away slowly.

  5. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >all these morons screeching about how OP should have obliterated a tiny bird because it annoyed him
    Yeah no, the reason geese get away with harassing people is because we don't want to fricking grab them by their worm necks and rip their heads off just because they got a little uppity and loud, if they posed an even remote threat they would probably be damn near extinct because humans would just mark them as KOS.
    All that said OP shouldn't have ran and just shoved the goose away while continuing to his destination, would have saved himself some embarrassment.

  6. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I just got attacked by a goose
    many such cases

    > Is there any household item I can carry to protect myself
    yes either umbrella or just hands, anon you pussy. just catch goose by neck

  7. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goddamn pussy, shoulda kicked the frickin thing to death.
    Frickin' ""men"" these days lol

  8. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >2. Is there any household item I can carry to protect myself

  9. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    what can a goose actually do if you grab its neck though? you can avoid its beak, and the little bird legs ain't going to hurt you very much, if at all

  10. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    To answer your question
    >What did I do wrong?
    Not stand up for yourself, all geese have on their side is intimidation
    https://youtube.com/shorts/6KcoaWByonA
    >Is there any household item I can carry to protect myself
    Yeah, a pair of balls

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not a psychopath who physically beat up on an animal 5x smaller than me. I need some anti goose tech just to scare them away without harming them

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I need some anti goose tech just to scare them away without harming them
        No such thing. Geese are immune to technology. Why do you think Canada barely has running water?
        Be happy it was simply exercising its right to scare the shit out of pussies like you and didn't require a sacrifice, in which case it would simply have karate chopped your neck in half with its wings.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        I think you should say 1/5th my size but I don't know how tall you are compared to a bird.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Pussy b***h homo

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >that other goose raising its wings up like it's saying "WORLDSTAR, WORLDSTAR"

  11. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >The bugger flew around the height of my height
    I meant height of my head

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      In other words, your height?

      https://i.imgur.com/O0vKmlt.jpg

      Got attacked by a goose in a parking lot. Went to pick up thai food for dinner. I didn't walk erratically or anything. Minding my own business, headphone on. Got attacked by a goose between the car and the thai place, then the guy at the restaurant said that the goose has been acting up in the parking lot lately and attacking randos. The bugger flew around the height of my height and bit my hand a couple times, I ran for my life to the car. I heard some buttholes laughing, I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up on Tiktok comedy videos.

      1. What did I do wrong?
      2. Is there any household item I can carry to protect myself

      Don't even worry about it, geese are bad motherfrickers and you're an autistic Waufner

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