I Hate Squirrels

>Have different bird feeders because I like bird watching
>Multiple squirrels come by every day and just hang out on the bird feeder, eating my bird seed
>See the birds on the ground looking up at the squirrel hogging the feeder
>Have to constantly go out there and scare it off
I'm getting tired of this shit, there's also tons of hawks I always see in the sky yet NONE decide to come hunt these frickers in my backyard besides one time, and it was the slowest and most boring chase I've ever seen.
>Hawk a couple of inches away from squirrel
>Squirrel sitting next to hawk not giving a shit
>Hawk proceeds to jump at it
>Squirrel just runs a little bit
There a way I can get these buttholes to frick off so I can see strictly birds since natural predators won't do their damn job?

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's nuts

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Hawk a couple of inches away from squirrel
    >Squirrel sitting next to hawk not giving a shit
    >Hawk proceeds to jump at it
    >Squirrel just runs a little bit
    Wow, I thought that was just a thing in my area.
    I saw almost the exact same thing happen in my backyard last summer
    (hawk perched on fence, squirrel climbs up onto fence and starts running across the top, hawk flies away)
    and I came to the conclusion that all the hawks inhabiting this region are complete pussies.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I killed like 5 of them for my neighbor one time because he was at his wits end. Now he has an even bigger infestation and they're hiding nuts all in his truck engine. Literally how the frick do you get rid of them without going rambo on their entire population?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He doesn't check Wauf? this gif has been sitting here for a whole day

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >This thread is infested with squirrels

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >What if I'm a squirrel?
      >Or you?

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The virgin birdwatcher
    The chad squirrel

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    homie you're nuts.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't put it right under a tree
    Get one of those cones that prevents them from climbing up the pole
    Problem solved

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >eating squirrels
    Do americans realy?
    Do you also eat pigeon, rats or hedgehogs?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I never have but it doesn't seem so crazy. Yes I'd eat pigeon. I'm not so eager to that I'll kill pigeons just to cook them but if somebody offered it prepared, I'd try.

      Now crow, that's a weird thing to eat. They're too intelligent to be hunting and eating. But people do.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      America has no native hedgehogs.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >native
        Interesting word, I mean almost nothing is really "native".

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          True to an extent. Don’t dare suggest this about anything outside of animals however.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      no, because were not europoors

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Shoot em with a pellet gun. 2 birds with one stone. You can kill them and target practice and also squirrel meat is good IMO.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ya a ghetto little nigglet like you who plays with pellet guns probably has loads of experience eating squirrels, rats and feral cats

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I do shoot them but I don't eat them. Plenty of wildlife around that will though. Ravens go crazy for them if they find them, if not I think a fox takes them at night, or maybe raccoons. Either way they always disappear.

      It's weird though, sometimes I get a good shot in and they just look stunned for a second then run away. I think they have thick skulls and the pellet just bounces off if the angle isn't perfect. I did switch to alloy pellets because I don't want to give lead poisoning to whatever eats them, and alloy pellets are lighter.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >1991
    This is less than 5 years after the incident

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >leave food out to feed wild animals
    >NO NO NO NOT THOSE WILD ANIMASL

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine wanting to go out of the way to commit squirrel harm or genocide because we pointed out that this is fricking moronic as hell. For that amount of energy and effort you could find a way to feed only the birds.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      yeah I never understood this kind of autism, especially when it escalates to buying increasingly elaborate saw-esque traps to keep squirrels from eating the seed

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    just feed the squirrels instead of the birbs you pussy

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    https://twitter.com/MFryActual/status/1755342606194606085

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Can a squirrel survive with no tail?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Probably not, no. They use their tails to balance when jumping across branches, and when they fall.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        a challenger appears

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    this is nuts

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How common is testicular accidents with squirrels or is it just people like OP catching them and pinning them in place kek

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I remember collecting those in oblivion to make restore magicka potions

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Good content
      Good post

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      quality stuff pops up in the most unassuming threads

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous
  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love squiggers so much I saved a baby one once. Birds are moronic, make noise and shit everywhere.

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Instead of trying to feed the birds you should just lean into feeding the squirrels. They're a way more entertaining animal to watch.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      grubby little squirrel mitts typed this post

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      grubby little squirrel mitts typed this post

      lol

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >t. Squirrel

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not OP but I'll bite - what should I do to try and support, befriend, or just watch my local squirrels? I have bird feeders they can't reach but enjoy seeing them doing squirrel things. I've tried to get some of the fatter ones I see on my deck to eat some food I left on the other side of the deck while I'm still outside but no takers so far.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Holy trips
        >innocent post about seeing squirrela
        >that pic
        Anon, I think you are watching squirrels for the wrong reasons...

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          LOL it was actually the wrong squirrel pic I clicked but I went with it. For what it's worth I've never seen squirrels having sex, but have seen two chipmunks fight to the death over what I assume was the territory surrounding my back garden. Loser had his eyes eaten by the winner, it was pretty fricking metal. Ruined chipmunks for me.

          I'd have dovecotes and squirrel houses with more outdoor space and fewer hawks around. As is I've seen at least two different red tails in my trees and several more in the area, they don't need the help.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        idk but you should raise a squirrel army for op's backyard

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >but you should raise a squirrel army for op's backyard
          Frick off

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Make sure you always have food out for them and when you see them bring out food and make sure they see your face. They'll associate you with food. I have a few squirrels that I feed and they show me their babies during the spring. It's really cute seeing them teach their babies.

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Never understood little autistic cry baby homosexuals who only think birds are cool and thats all they want to give free food to. Birds that make noise and fricking shit everywhere. If anything else from nature eats at the bird feeder they get triggered. Why? Thought you're supposed to like watching wild animals. Wouldn't surprise me if there's consequence in the afterlife for killing shit for no reason or purpose ie this

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      because they eat all the seeds, you stupid b***h, all rodents hoard and gorge on food whenever possible

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Birds wont friend you, thank you, frick you, stop making noise or stop shitting on your cars if you give them food. If you have money to feed feathered homosexuals then you have money to feed squirrels, raccoons or sometimes my moronic terrier who is hungry for the bird seed.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Birds wont friend you, thank you, frick you, stop making noise or stop shitting on your cars if you give them food
          okay, i dont see how thats relevant to anything since i just want to see them eat

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm gonna put out my trap and eat a squirrel this week just because of this post.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Ok bird simp im gonna go order some dead babies on a stick from the darkweb to spite you/humanity

            Anon, are you fricking squirrels?

            No but theres a famous song about it called squirrels in my pants

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Anon, are you fricking squirrels?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      In the UK grey squirrels are invasive so I understand why people hate them, even though personally I think they're pretty cute rodents

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Picture not mine. I protected the bird feeder with a cheap plastic tube. The pipe is too slippery for the squirrels climb up. Works pretty well.

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    ?si=eYUmFEJlJKw8sDQv

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I put mine on several lines of 60 pount test fishing line.
    They can't climb down, and the ones that try end up hitting a cone while falling at near terminal velocity.

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get two bird feeders and stop being so querulous.

  28. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    [...]

    Fungi is hardcore because it just outright engineers shit to fricking kill or manipulate whatever the hell it wants. Look at the White Nose Fungus. It decimated American bat populations in a matter of decades. Poor guys never had a chance

  29. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    remove the bird feeder, its not worth the hassle and you dont need it to live

  30. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I trap and kill them, but it's never enough. I also put sunflower seeds on my railings and the squirrels just eat those, the latest generation doesn't seem to notice the bird feeders, once the sunflower seed is eaten they just frick off.
    Also lots of birds prefer to eat on the railings instead of the bird feeders. Cardinals being one.

  31. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    This kind of stuff never worked for me. The Squirrels still ate it.

    https://i.imgur.com/J2NEgSa.jpg

    >Have different bird feeders because I like bird watching
    >Multiple squirrels come by every day and just hang out on the bird feeder, eating my bird seed
    >See the birds on the ground looking up at the squirrel hogging the feeder
    >Have to constantly go out there and scare it off
    I'm getting tired of this shit, there's also tons of hawks I always see in the sky yet NONE decide to come hunt these frickers in my backyard besides one time, and it was the slowest and most boring chase I've ever seen.
    >Hawk a couple of inches away from squirrel
    >Squirrel sitting next to hawk not giving a shit
    >Hawk proceeds to jump at it
    >Squirrel just runs a little bit
    There a way I can get these buttholes to frick off so I can see strictly birds since natural predators won't do their damn job?

    I use a spring-loaded bird feeder. Birds don't affect it, but when a squirrel gets on it the springs compress and the access to the seeds is closed. Works great and the they gave up trying.

  32. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Man. Sometimes it’s easy to forget plants also developed their own adaptations in a never ending arms race to see who can outsmart who between them and animals

  33. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is why I’m going to train my future pets to attack and kill them. Very annoying nuisances. Maybe a terrier or something

  34. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you want to get rid of them unironicaly invest in a .22 pellet gun. Stuff below 12ft lbs of muzzle energy will be enough and is legal to do without any licence in most states or european countries.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you want to do deal with them without killing them your best bet is a trap cage, but you will need a bunch as there will be a bunch of squirrels in your area that will cash in when you have caught one of them.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      .117 breakbarrel air rifle is more than enough with the hollow point equivalent rounds. It came to me in a dream, not that'd I'd know.

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