I can fix her

I can fix her

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    wtf that guy isn't even attractive

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      U mad crane boy

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Cranes have returned to Ireland recently, for the first time in over 300 years.

    At first the sightings were not believed, but they've come back alright. Lock up your sons and daughters.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Hand-raised by humans, white-naped crane Walnut imprinted and never bonded with other birds. Then she met caretaker Chris Crowe at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute. She was smitten. He built Walnut’s trust and performed artificial inseminations using genetic material from male cranes. Their special bond has enabled Walnut to contribute 8 chicks to her endangered species’ survival to date (with a little help from Chris, of course).
    that's hilarious

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What's goong to happen when he starts seeing human women?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Disappointment. Avian companions are loyal until death and don't run off with all your money and leave you in the gutter

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        What exactly is the appeal for wanting to frick animals with zoophiles? Give honest answers plz. It just seems really gross (especially with birds, who shit, piss, and cum out of a cloaca)

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I ain't gonna defend zoophiles, but "It just seems really gross" is a pretty negative justification, considering what normal people get to.
          People lick piss and shit holes all the time. Some people even stick it in the pooper for fricks sake.
          Sex would be considered pretty messy and disgusting to begin with if you removed the reproductive and the pleasure components, I think.
          As for the appeal, unironic mental health issues.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          you can not shag a bird without kiling it, unless its and ostrich or something. The bird on the otherhand will want to frick regardless

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Sex with humans, looked at abstractly, isn't really that much more sanitary. You can ignore some level of gross stuff when it gets in the way of your dick.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Judging by what these birds can do with fish, they shouldn't have any difficulties deepthroating.
    That zookeeper is a very lucky man.
    I bet the feathers feel amazing when cuddling, too.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I know birds can fall in love with humans and I'm sure some are willing to mate with humans as well, but there is no way a bird will deepthroat you.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Just draw two eyes and a couple of scales on it with a sharpie.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Doesn't sound very safe.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >I bet the feathers feel amazing when cuddling
      And for more than that, were that a goose rather than a crane.
      >Let us return to our purpose, said Grangousier. What, said Gargantua, to skite? No, said Grangousier, but to wipe our tail.
      ...
      >There is no need of wiping one's tail, said Gargantua, but when it is foul; foul it cannot be, unless one have been a-skiting; skite then we must before we wipe our tails.
      ...
      >I prithee, go on in this torcheculative, or wipe-bummatory discourse, and by my beard I swear, for one puncheon, thou shalt have threescore pipes, I mean of the good Breton wine, not that which grows in Britain, but in the good country of Verron.
      >Afterwards I wiped my bum, said Gargantua, with a kerchief, with a pillow, with a pantoufle, with a pouch, with a pannier, but that was a wicked and unpleasant torchecul; then with a hat. Of hats, note that some are shorn, and others shaggy, some velveted, others covered with taffeties, and others with satin. The best of all these is the shaggy hat, for it makes a very neat abstersion of the fecal matter.

      >Afterwards I wiped my tail with a hen, with a wiener, with a pullet, with a calf's skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney's bag, with a montero, with a coif, with a falconer's lure. But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Post the rest of the story.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    To be fair that's a pretty bird. That's one lucky man.

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why do these long legged birds always fall in love with humans? Is it the human legs? The height?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      long legged birds typically have the right height for... y'know...

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Frick off degen, give me a serious answer

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Ask The Ginger. And Boots.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That's probably it in this case, along with his hat. Hat probably looks like a beak. I bet if he wore one with a red spot on the side the bird would go nuts.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    where find yandere goose

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    he already fixed her

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