Why do hippos kill 500 humans annually in Africa alone?

Pretty rude if you ask me.

  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They like bone marrow

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >when you are attacked by a hippo but survive and get taken to the hospital were you think you are finally safe

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    https://twitter.com/BillLAMEbeer/status/1558743023852347392

    Enjoy

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >humans
    >in Africa
    uuuuhh

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    The incredible thing about hippos is they can be fairly safe and docile if raised in captivity.

    They should be domesticated.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Anon... about that...
      >A farmer in South Africa has been killed by his pet hippopotamus, after repeated warnings that it was a wild animal that could never be tamed.
      >Marius Els, 40, an army major, was bitten to death by the 1.2 tonne hippo he christened Humphrey and tried to domesticate on a farm in Free State province.
      >Els's savaged body was found submerged in the river where, years earlier, the hippo had been rescued from a flood. It grew too big for the people who adopted it and was bought by Els at the age of five months, becoming a pet on his 400-acre farm and learning to swim with humans.
      >Earlier this year, Els was photographed riding on the five-year-old hippo's back. "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human," he said. "There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand.
      >Humphrey was also blamed for killing calves belonging to Els's business partner. The animal also frequently broke out of its enclosure and chased golfers at a local golf club.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >hippos also hate golfers
        they never stop winning

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Didn't read, looks like a good boy to me

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        If my parents named me "Humphrey" I'll fuck them up too

  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    homie got the munchies

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They look kinda harmless but no other animal even fucks with them. The only times are when they are attacked is when hyenas, lions or crocodile try to eat baby hippos, but nobody attacks adult hippos because they would snap their shit up.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      There is footage of baby hippos literally walking all over fully grown Nile crocs and the crocs being too afraid to react because the bull hippo was watching.
      I dont think any animal takes that many hippo calfs

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      A bull elephant comes into mind.

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    N

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    hippos are extremely racist, and only kill africans

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      They also kill retarded tourists

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        hippos are biased against the mentally challenged? extra rude

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >kill 500 humans annually
    >in Africa
    Whew, for a second I thought this was an issue.

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ok, I don't understand this.
    >extremely fat, 1300-1500kg for females, 1500-1800kg for males (easy on the hamburgers lmao)
    >short, stubby, straight up goofy looking legs
    >RUN 30 KM/H
    that's like 2x3 times faster than the average human, good luck outrunning that
    motherfuckers can just run you over like a car

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      They have strong legs to propel themselves. Not much of a mistery

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        remember they don't really swim, they walk in water. It's fucking crazy to see them walk in water like nothing is slowing them down.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      their ''fat'' is actually pure muscle

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        so they're the wario of the animal kingdom?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Basically

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >jump to the side
      >2 tone fatty can't turn fast enough

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >hippo charges you
      >jump
      >hippo runs through you legs
      ez.

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    GO FASTER

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      well that's terrifying

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      what is it using for propulsion
      these things are fast underwater but they have no fins to speak of

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        They run along the bottom. They don't swim https://youtu.be/xu4T9kawhAM

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Like all africans, he is excellent at jumping.

  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >have to cross river or go fishing for food
    >only have small wooden boat
    >unseen hungry hungry hippo jumps out of water and ambushes you because they attack anything that moves
    Many such cases!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      How are these animals not extinct? Ancient europeans would've done epic revenge hunts.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        They live with Africans.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          so?

  14. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    At first I thought eh, out of 1 billion africans that's not much. Then I considered the number of hippos.
    In the wild hippos live for around 40 years. In 40 years hippos kill 20 thousand humans. The hippo population is just 120 thousand. These animals are rude indeed.

  15. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    You’d understand if you lived around Africans too.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >have to cross river or go fishing for food
      >only have small wooden boat
      >unseen hungry hungry hippo jumps out of water and ambushes you because they attack anything that moves
      Many such cases!

      Get outta my swamp bro!!!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      See

  16. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >in Africa alone
    So what's the world total? 501?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      dunno, in colombia the hypo problem is getting bigger, cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos, it's ruining the economy

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >cartels
        >the economy
        not many of us tend to include unofficial guerilla drug manufacture and traffic as an economic activity I mean.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          but it is. everybody who works for the cartels need to eat, buy clothes, have a house, provide for their families, etc. all that money comes from drugs sold to the gringos

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Pretty unsympathetic tbqh

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Its pretty well established fact that Hippo's are hardcore straight-edge.

        https://i.imgur.com/THCK8Mp.jpg

        Pretty rude if you ask me.

        And racist.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos
        Based

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >dunno, in colombia the hypo problem is getting bigger, cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos, it's ruining the economy

        Nice. But which animal will solve the cartel problem in Northern Mexico?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          extreme rightwing texans

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/NG4RWCy.jpg

        Anon... about that...
        >A farmer in South Africa has been killed by his pet hippopotamus, after repeated warnings that it was a wild animal that could never be tamed.
        >Marius Els, 40, an army major, was bitten to death by the 1.2 tonne hippo he christened Humphrey and tried to domesticate on a farm in Free State province.
        >Els's savaged body was found submerged in the river where, years earlier, the hippo had been rescued from a flood. It grew too big for the people who adopted it and was bought by Els at the age of five months, becoming a pet on his 400-acre farm and learning to swim with humans.
        >Earlier this year, Els was photographed riding on the five-year-old hippo's back. "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human," he said. "There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand.
        >Humphrey was also blamed for killing calves belonging to Els's business partner. The animal also frequently broke out of its enclosure and chased golfers at a local golf club.

        >hippos uncontrollably kill Africans, cartel members, and golfers
        extremely based

  17. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    They are hungry. Hungry hippos

  18. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    It is extremely rude IMO

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