Anon... about that... >A farmer in South Africa has been killed by his pet hippopotamus, after repeated warnings that it was a wild animal that could never be tamed. >Marius Els, 40, an army major, was bitten to death by the 1.2 tonne hippo he christened Humphrey and tried to domesticate on a farm in Free State province. >Els's savaged body was found submerged in the river where, years earlier, the hippo had been rescued from a flood. It grew too big for the people who adopted it and was bought by Els at the age of five months, becoming a pet on his 400-acre farm and learning to swim with humans. >Earlier this year, Els was photographed riding on the five-year-old hippo's back. "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human," he said. "There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand. >Humphrey was also blamed for killing calves belonging to Els's business partner. The animal also frequently broke out of its enclosure and chased golfers at a local golf club.
They look kinda harmless but no other animal even fucks with them. The only times are when they are attacked is when hyenas, lions or crocodile try to eat baby hippos, but nobody attacks adult hippos because they would snap their shit up.
There is footage of baby hippos literally walking all over fully grown Nile crocs and the crocs being too afraid to react because the bull hippo was watching.
I dont think any animal takes that many hippo calfs
Ok, I don't understand this. >extremely fat, 1300-1500kg for females, 1500-1800kg for males (easy on the hamburgers lmao) >short, stubby, straight up goofy looking legs >RUN 30 KM/H
that's like 2x3 times faster than the average human, good luck outrunning that
motherfuckers can just run you over like a car
>have to cross river or go fishing for food >only have small wooden boat >unseen hungry hungry hippo jumps out of water and ambushes you because they attack anything that moves
Many such cases!
At first I thought eh, out of 1 billion africans that's not much. Then I considered the number of hippos.
In the wild hippos live for around 40 years. In 40 years hippos kill 20 thousand humans. The hippo population is just 120 thousand. These animals are rude indeed.
>have to cross river or go fishing for food >only have small wooden boat >unseen hungry hungry hippo jumps out of water and ambushes you because they attack anything that moves
Many such cases!
dunno, in colombia the hypo problem is getting bigger, cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos, it's ruining the economy
but it is. everybody who works for the cartels need to eat, buy clothes, have a house, provide for their families, etc. all that money comes from drugs sold to the gringos
>dunno, in colombia the hypo problem is getting bigger, cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos, it's ruining the economy
Nice. But which animal will solve the cartel problem in Northern Mexico?
Anon... about that... >A farmer in South Africa has been killed by his pet hippopotamus, after repeated warnings that it was a wild animal that could never be tamed. >Marius Els, 40, an army major, was bitten to death by the 1.2 tonne hippo he christened Humphrey and tried to domesticate on a farm in Free State province. >Els's savaged body was found submerged in the river where, years earlier, the hippo had been rescued from a flood. It grew too big for the people who adopted it and was bought by Els at the age of five months, becoming a pet on his 400-acre farm and learning to swim with humans. >Earlier this year, Els was photographed riding on the five-year-old hippo's back. "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human," he said. "There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand. >Humphrey was also blamed for killing calves belonging to Els's business partner. The animal also frequently broke out of its enclosure and chased golfers at a local golf club.
>hippos uncontrollably kill Africans, cartel members, and golfers
extremely based
They like bone marrow
>when you are attacked by a hippo but survive and get taken to the hospital were you think you are finally safe
https://twitter.com/BillLAMEbeer/status/1558743023852347392
Enjoy
>humans
>in Africa
uuuuhh
The incredible thing about hippos is they can be fairly safe and docile if raised in captivity.
They should be domesticated.
Anon... about that...
>A farmer in South Africa has been killed by his pet hippopotamus, after repeated warnings that it was a wild animal that could never be tamed.
>Marius Els, 40, an army major, was bitten to death by the 1.2 tonne hippo he christened Humphrey and tried to domesticate on a farm in Free State province.
>Els's savaged body was found submerged in the river where, years earlier, the hippo had been rescued from a flood. It grew too big for the people who adopted it and was bought by Els at the age of five months, becoming a pet on his 400-acre farm and learning to swim with humans.
>Earlier this year, Els was photographed riding on the five-year-old hippo's back. "Humphrey's like a son to me, he's just like a human," he said. "There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand.
>Humphrey was also blamed for killing calves belonging to Els's business partner. The animal also frequently broke out of its enclosure and chased golfers at a local golf club.
>hippos also hate golfers
they never stop winning
Didn't read, looks like a good boy to me
If my parents named me "Humphrey" I'll fuck them up too
homie got the munchies
They look kinda harmless but no other animal even fucks with them. The only times are when they are attacked is when hyenas, lions or crocodile try to eat baby hippos, but nobody attacks adult hippos because they would snap their shit up.
There is footage of baby hippos literally walking all over fully grown Nile crocs and the crocs being too afraid to react because the bull hippo was watching.
I dont think any animal takes that many hippo calfs
A bull elephant comes into mind.
N
hippos are extremely racist, and only kill africans
They also kill retarded tourists
hippos are biased against the mentally challenged? extra rude
>kill 500 humans annually
>in Africa
Whew, for a second I thought this was an issue.
Ok, I don't understand this.
>extremely fat, 1300-1500kg for females, 1500-1800kg for males (easy on the hamburgers lmao)
>short, stubby, straight up goofy looking legs
>RUN 30 KM/H
that's like 2x3 times faster than the average human, good luck outrunning that
motherfuckers can just run you over like a car
They have strong legs to propel themselves. Not much of a mistery
remember they don't really swim, they walk in water. It's fucking crazy to see them walk in water like nothing is slowing them down.
their ''fat'' is actually pure muscle
so they're the wario of the animal kingdom?
Basically
>jump to the side
>2 tone fatty can't turn fast enough
>hippo charges you
>jump
>hippo runs through you legs
ez.
GO FASTER
well that's terrifying
what is it using for propulsion
these things are fast underwater but they have no fins to speak of
They run along the bottom. They don't swim https://youtu.be/xu4T9kawhAM
Like all africans, he is excellent at jumping.
>have to cross river or go fishing for food
>only have small wooden boat
>unseen hungry hungry hippo jumps out of water and ambushes you because they attack anything that moves
Many such cases!
How are these animals not extinct? Ancient europeans would've done epic revenge hunts.
They live with Africans.
so?
At first I thought eh, out of 1 billion africans that's not much. Then I considered the number of hippos.
In the wild hippos live for around 40 years. In 40 years hippos kill 20 thousand humans. The hippo population is just 120 thousand. These animals are rude indeed.
You’d understand if you lived around Africans too.
Get outta my swamp nigga!!!
See
>in Africa alone
So what's the world total? 501?
dunno, in colombia the hypo problem is getting bigger, cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos, it's ruining the economy
>cartels
>the economy
not many of us tend to include unofficial guerilla drug manufacture and traffic as an economic activity I mean.
but it is. everybody who works for the cartels need to eat, buy clothes, have a house, provide for their families, etc. all that money comes from drugs sold to the gringos
Pretty unsympathetic tbqh
Its pretty well established fact that Hippo's are hardcore straight-edge.
And racist.
>cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos
Based
>dunno, in colombia the hypo problem is getting bigger, cartels can no longer use the rivers to transport drugs because of the hypos, it's ruining the economy
Nice. But which animal will solve the cartel problem in Northern Mexico?
extreme rightwing texans
>hippos uncontrollably kill Africans, cartel members, and golfers
extremely based
They are hungry. Hungry hippos
It is extremely rude IMO