What the fuck is this?

Visiting senpai in Australia. My wife screamed bc we were moving shit around and this fricking thing shot out of an empty cooler as we were cleaning the yard. I’ve seen these back home in Nebraska but not with the red. It looks like a penis. It squared up too like it wanted to jump us. Little fricker must’ve had water recently bc that shit was still running down its fangs. So wtf is it Wauf ? Should I kill it? It threatened me and my wife. I hate how ugly it is.

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That's an AI 'spider'.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    just found this guy in my work boot! totally legit!

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >visiting senpai
    Heh

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I know it's a spider, but looks a bit like a solifuge too.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Mouse spider, male, probably looking for a mate and thought your wife would be suitable for some big black mouse spider wiener

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That's a Spider-man spider. If you let it bite you, you get Spider-man.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    larp thread

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Not a larp, things are apparently common out here. Fricking hate this place.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        You can tell when people are lying on the internet because they leave off the "I"
        e.g. "Fricking hate this place" instead of "I fricking hate this place."

        also they say absurd shit like "Little fricker must’ve had water recently bc that shit was still running down its fangs."
        as if they got close enough to see that.

        nobody knows why you lie on the internet, but everybody knows you do.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >t. Butthurt Aussie btfo by American visiting his toxic inhospitable wasteland of a country

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          eight hairy legs wrote this post

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Nice plebbit spacing moron. Imagine pointing out grammatical errors on a basket weaving image board kek. Go back.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >ESL armchair internet psychologist
          holy frick you're one massive moron

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous
        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          https://i.imgur.com/qb8ClBr.jpg

          Nice plebbit spacing moron. Imagine pointing out grammatical errors on a basket weaving image board kek. Go back.

          This sounds a little like Kimmo when wasn't running his pedo site, except his capitalization would have been admittedly accurate.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Lying like the fricking fake poll you keep trying to use on here?
          Loser

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          woah, genuine schizobabble.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >as if they got close enough to see that
          Apparently you’ve never seen a mygalomorph spider before dumbass. Go outside

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >as if they got close enough to see that
          Uh huh

          [...]

          moron seethe

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Mygalomorph spiders are fricking terrifying. In Cali we have these small ass spiders I forget what they’re called but they look like funnel webs only smaller and with super weak venom. They’re aggressive tho. I saw one back in November and it was pretty based and didn’t hesitate to do a threat display

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >atrax robustus
            These things scare the frick outta me. Like they got the fangs of a snake, and the body of a tarantula.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I am inside your walls

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >You can tell when people are lying on the internet because they leave off the "I"
          >e.g. "Fricking hate this place" instead of "I fricking hate this place."
          I'm looking back on 20 odd years of shitposting on the internet and it's blowing my fricking mind how true this is.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I first noticed it about myself when I was shitposting. Then I started watching other people shitpost and saw the same thing.

            Like we're trying to convey nonchalance and thus truth by leaving ourselves out of the sentence. It's a weird habit, but it seems to be near universal.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >da univerz revolvz arown MI!

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >armchair columbo

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >You can tell when people are lying on the internet because they leave off the "I"
          some people just don't like talking about, or referring to themselves.

          i tend to refer to myself in third person.

          you're not bright.

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Little fricker must’ve had water recently bc that shit was still running down its fangs
    That was probably venom anon. Mouse spiders and especially funnel webs are well known for dripping venom during a threat display. They’re highly venomous, but not particularly dangerous

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Red headed Mouse spider. Sports similar venom seen in Sydney funnel web spiders albeit having a lower yield. Very toxic, and if you’re bit you’re likely going to need emergency care. Don’t frick with these, very deadly.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Red headed Mouse spider.
      >A mygalomorph that disperses by ballooning
      Based AF

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