What I do if I find bear in the woods?

What I do if I find bear in the woods?

  1. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't understand how they can move so fast being so big and fat

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      4 legs and strong as fuck

  2. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ask where it shits.

  3. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    If its brown lie down.
    If its black fight back.
    That's the rule of thumb.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      if it's white and red?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        If it's white then demand reparations.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >if it's white and red?
        You’re dead

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Good night: you're dead

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >black bear
      >fight
      Just yell at it to fuck off, they're big chickens.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Black bears kill as many people as grizzly bears do. Black bears can be 300 kg, it'd easily kill you if it wanted to protect it's cubs. Worst part is if she has cubs the attack is very likely to be predatory too so you better have a weapon to defend yourself with.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          What about polar bears?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah sure pal, but you forget that most attacks by black bears are predatory in nature. Berries and dandelions are acceptable fare, but a walking flesh balloon strolling through the woods who finds a hungry large male black bear must be made aware that it might not be a teddy bear picnic. Just sayin.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Even more likely if it has cubs. They're always hungry and mama needs food.

  4. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Gently caress his shoulder fur and submit

  5. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why shoot it if you can use bear spray?

  6. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Assuming you have a triple digit IQ you'll be armed with something. Ideally a gun but in many countries you don't have human rights so that might be out of the question.
    Even a shitty pocket knife is good enough. Lots of carnivores get by with claws/teeth that are duller and shorter than a pocket knife so you're not really outmatched.
    Just stand your ground and don't go into "why me?" mode. Accept that at this point either you and the bear both die or you both survive.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do Americans really take a gun with them every time they go in to a forest?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        If your forests have grizzly bears in them then you'd be retarded not to. You don't have to bring an assault rifle with you, even 9 mm is enough to put down a grizzly.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        We haven't really gone through the process of sterilizing our entire local ecosystem like you, and still need to deal with moose, bears, wolves, cougars, coyotes(I guess, if you're small and particularly delicious looking). So yes, generally a good idea to carry a gun into the woods in America.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, but it's mostly in case they meet other Americans.

  7. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    turn 360 degrees and run away

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >turn 360 degrees and run away
      You mean 180 degrees? 360 means you're facing the same direction and would run straight into the bear.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        You're supposed to retreat while facing the bear. Why the fuck would you ever turn your back on a predator?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        summer.

  8. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    ask for financial advice

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      i laffed

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Yes I am looking over your books here
      >It turns out bears don't pay taxes

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yo asking about a bear for finance shooooooo

  9. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    drop pants

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