What did this poor sack of shit do to deserve existing like this?

What did this poor sack of shit do to deserve existing like this? The sunfish has to be the creature with the worst fate of existence ever. I feel bad sometimes that I'm only 5'6'' but then I look at this trainwreck of an organism and thank christ i'm at least not this unlucky

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  1. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do people still get irrationally upset over a weird looking fish just because of that moronic facebook meme or is this thread being ironic

  2. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    :^^)

  3. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hola mola get dola

  4. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hey I'm a sunfish and frick you. I get to swim in a vast ocean, frick the scales off other fish pussy and if you haven't noticed I'm fricking massive. You're a pussy and probably a flounder

  5. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why did you post a picgure of a baby whale?

  6. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Sunfish thread
    Holy fricking shit Jay, call the aquarium!

  7. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    >so big barely anything can frick with it
    >big eyes and pufferfish brain so it can perceive all of life's wonders
    >dives down 800 meters to look at cool deep sea glowing shit any time it wants
    >swims back up so fast it breaches
    >no bends or anything cause no swim bladder
    >sits around in the sun
    >dives again to eat floating crabs and squid
    >meets another sunfish, cooms so hard it blots out the sun
    Honestly I wish I was him.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you make it to adulthood as a sunfish, you basically live life in spectator mode.
      Only like 3 creatures in the ocean with admin powers can eat you, other than that you're free to swim anywhere you want to just look at shit. You're not even limited to a tiny sliver of depth like most fish.

      >Sunfish spent greater than 30% of their time in the top 10m of the water column, and over 80% of time in the top 200m. The maximum depth recorded by any sunfish was 844m.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        I think the only real argument against any of this is the whole massive parasite load they carry. Just that hardly makes them the worst thing out there to be. I mean imagine being one of those Greenland sharks that live for 400 years but that whole time a parasite is slowly eating your eyes leaving you in the cold depths utterly blind.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Whales get covered in fricking BARNACLES, but no one gives them shit for it.
          Look up close photos of whales, they're actually so disgusting.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            God damn that’s some nasty whale herpes

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            I wonder if they feel it. Is it itchy? Painful?

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              total barnacle death

              EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINAAAATE!

              They'd probably get aggressive at any diver that tried to remove them

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                >https://www.sciencetimes.com/articles/43242/20230412/gray-whale-approaches-boat-captain-lice-removed-body-ectoprasites-affect.htm
                This guy picked off some lice one time and now he has a harem of desperate whales that follow him.
                Whales will scrape themselves on rocks on the sea floor to get rid of them they can't stand it.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Covered in hundreds, maybe thousands of parasites on your skin
                >They irritate your skin and make you itchy 24/7
                >Can't even get them off
                I'm so glad I have opposable thumbs.

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                >https://twitter.com/ig_sailors/status/1640958954191634434
                God I wish that were me

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                Would it be ethical to treat wild whales for parasites? I mean orcas seem pretty close in intelligence to morons. Surely they must have the right to be treated if they volunteer

            • 6 months ago
              Anonymous

              Whales will kys themselves by beaching if the infections get too bad.

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            total barnacle death

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            total barnacle supremacy

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINAAAATE!

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            Don’t whales cultivate callous pads for barnacles to grow so that they have an armor of sharp calcium blades for wrecking shit?

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            Do orca get these? I've never seen an orca with these see lice on them, but on the other hand, I don't see how they'd deal with them any better than a whale...?

  8. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    That fish is swimming across the ocean rn having sex or eating some smaller fish or planktons or seaweed or whatever while you are on Wauf seething about how he is a genetic failure. Even if that thing has long been dead I'd say his life is superior to yours, anon

  9. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Think of the millions of species of life forms that went extinct over the hundreds of millions of years of biological history and consider that this guy is still flapping his fins around out there. Can you really call him unlucky?

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      that IS being unlucky. If I had to exist with this painful misshapen form, me being lucky would have had my kind embedded in 10 miiles of bedrock as fossil by now

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >perfectly adapted for luxurious sunbathing
        >most sexual mouth of any fish
        >intense sexuality leads to 300 million eggs laid at once
        >idiot sharks think they already ate half of you and leave you alone
        idk seems like a pretty good life

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          >have skin parasites
          >breach water to shake them off
          >do the fish equivalent of a bellyflop
          >die because you weigh 4000lb

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        It’s not misshaped because you think it is. It’s literally far more suted for existence on this planet as it has lived that way far far longer than humanity’s entire existence.

        Humans remain an imperfect being in need of further evolution to answer for the spine problem.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          and the foot problem, and the hip problem, and the appendix problem

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Unfortunately we haven't done a whole lot of evolving these days. We just use technology and whatnot to make up for our shortcomings.

          If anything, as a species we're regressing lol.

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