what animal would be the coolest to eat you alive?

what animal would be the coolest to eat you alive?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've alwahs found the idea of dying at sea and having crabs crawling in your skull and invertebrates eating your bones pretty fricking revolting.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      feeling crabby?

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >my life is so shit I have money to spend on literal starbucks and fricking avocado bread

    god i HATE those social media goblins so much

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm eating something simple, healthy, and enjoyable for breakfast... what has my life come to?

    I think this guy might have been a gay before he got bit by a dog

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      if you can't fend off a single pitbull you're not a man

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You first, anon.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          NTA but I’ve done it multiple times out of self defense. They weigh like 35-60 pounds. They’re easy. Just stay calm and kick them until they frick off.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >whale
    the only one I could survive would be a whale, like in the christian bible

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why does getting mauled by a pitbull mean you can only eat bread with tomatoes?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      My best guess is that it means low effort meals.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My friends so they can survive starving to death and can return home to their wives and kids. I don't have a family so nobody is going to miss me.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      aww man don’t say that 🙁

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Your life would miss you. As simple as it may be. Who would live it without you?

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    whale, because I might actually survive it.
    I would also be the first human to go a mile under the sea without any equipment.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Technically parasites eat you alive, they don’t eat all of you and you are likely to survive a mosquito or tick eating a little bit of you. OP asked what would be the coolest so those are out unless there is some really cool parasite.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How does being mauled by a pitbull make you start eating… that?
    Weird fetish thread

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why does getting mauled by a pitbull mean you can only eat bread with tomatoes?

      Post traumatic autism? Lost a limb? Who knows

      https://i.imgur.com/E6KeG44.jpeg

      >I'm eating something simple, healthy, and enjoyable for breakfast... what has my life come to?

      I think this guy might have been a gay before he got bit by a dog

      It does look like a pretty bland meal though

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ticks.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Turkey vultures

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Something that can swallow you whole i guess, like a big constrictor snake or a sperm whale.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Eaten alive would be equally horribe with all animals, this is a stupid premise. For some reason I always wanted to die at sea, so a shark or an orca.

    Just eaten in general I would pick a jaguar for a nice quick kill

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Just eaten in general I would pick a jaguar for a nice quick kill
      Jaguars and cats in general doesn’t do this with primates though, the same goes for rodents as domestic cats just start eating a struggling mouse right away after catching it.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yes because they know primates and rodents like to squeal
        Imagine the Jaguar paralyzes you before eating or twists your neck

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >would be equally horribe with all animals
      I doubt it.
      Some would make it VERY swift so you might not even realize once it's too late and others could take hours, maybe even days if you're absurdly unlucky.
      The levels of horror between these two options are immeasurable.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Eaten alive would be equally horribe with all animals, this is a stupid premise
      Nah. Better to be eaten by a big cat >>> a pack of wolves/hyenas > a bear >>>>> a Komodo dragon

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    thinly veiled vorehomosexualry thread

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't want to be eaten alive by any moronic fricking animal.

    I have a vore fetish and people usually assume you're some sort of psycho because of it. But here's the thing: I treat the idea of eating a living person with more sactiry than most, so I would never be able to make casual black humor jokes about being eaten alive that normies like OP make without a second thought, I put too much importance on the subject in my mind.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I have a vore fetish and people usually assume you're some sort of psycho because of it.
      They're right

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >stop fetishizing someone being eaten alive, that's creepy... why can't you just laugh at someone being eaten instead, like the rest of us normal people?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >projecting
          Silly voregay.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What thread are you in?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Not everyone is black/brown anon

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This post proves you are a psycho. Making a joke is not the same as wanting it to happen (it's most often the opposite).

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Psycho

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Surely it's t-rex.

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mealworms. Being tickled to death sounds fun. Scariest would be a tiger.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wtf I love being eaten by worms now

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