Things you can say about your favorite animal, but not your girlfriend

Things you can say about your favorite animal, but not your girlfriend

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I know without a doubt she loves me.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It may look like a wiener but that's a vegana

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    is always happy to see me

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I had the three of them cohabbed in an enclosure I made myself, but then one of them got a skin infection and has been quarantined in the enclosure I kept them in when they were babies.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    she loves me unconditionally

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No human food for you.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    No they're not bald, they just look like that.

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    THE JOKE IS I WANT TO FRICK ANIMALS
    DO YOU GET THE JOKE
    IT'S THAT I WANT TO FRICK MY PET
    GET IT

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Are they really your pet then? Shouldn’t you be held to a higher standard now? Give them human grade care and all?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        He was talking about his gf not the dog

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Human grade is a stretch, but if you're screwing an animal I think you're obligated to care for it a bit more than you would be obligated otherwise. Keeping in mind the current minimum standards for pet care are pretty abysmal.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          It’s not a stretch, it’s a fairly low standard.

          Humans are often sent to the pound to die in agony when they get old and spend their lives eating literal rotting garbage.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You get used to the smell

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It's cis

  11. 1 year ago
    Bibbit

    I keep her on a leash so she doesn't run away

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    "I own one, it lives with me, listens to me, and it's definitely a woman."

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    "Hey, stop raping your sister RIGHT NOW!"
    Didn't think I'd ever say that sentence, much less while laughing.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    She walks on two legs.

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    b***h is heat, so we're getting the boys around this evening to take turns mounting her.

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I've never heard them complain about my cooking

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I love her.

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    At least dodos existed at one point

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I am not planning to kill them.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I have sex with her at least once a day

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      No anon, other way around

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Or is it?

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    She crapped on the carpet again, that's why she's not allowed on the bed or on the couch.

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I forgot to let her out of her cage when I got home today.

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You’re looking like you might have gained a couple pounds. We need to start getting you some more exercise.

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    She lives in a box and eats every couple of weeks

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I have one

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    i let her eat in the same plate as me

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It's a good stink.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Best part is you only need to feed em every couple days.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/4K0RB2D.png

      Things you can say about your favorite animal, but not your girlfriend

      Mine can go months without eating.

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It exists

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I keep two in my house, but I'm worried about them escaping

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    She flies.

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I don't mind opening the door to let her in.

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Sure she's a little furry, but it's not as bad as people make it out to be.

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I would not get turned on by it attacking me

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    "If she doesn't get pregnant, she's gonna die."

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Unless you're Henry VIII

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