>super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night

>super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night
>decide I'll take my dog for a walk to calm myself down
>take 10 benadryl to help relax
>dog and I walking neighborhood
>have to tie his leash around my waist because I get a phone call
>while on the phone a pack of geese start approaching us
>try and caw like a crow since geese and crows don't get along
>doesn't work
>one goose starts hissing at my dog and tries to fight it
>was listening to slayer so I'm pumped the fuck up
>grab the goose by the neck and slam it into the ground
>neck is like a wet noodle and the gooses body goes limp
>realize what I just did
>run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
>lock myself in room with dog

Do you guys think I'll get in trouble? I heard it's illegal to kill geese but it was completely in self defense. What are the rules when it comes to protecting yourself from a pack of feral geese?

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Goose fucks around.
    Goose finds out.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Who tf does bennies to "calm down" moron you're one weird strain of a chucklefuck

    >i-it was s-self defense
    Yeah sure moron
    Can't fathom the gayry of this thread

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >illegal to kill geese
    >self defense
    >pack of feral geese
    are you talking about actual geese or is this code for something

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >alcoholic
    >violent
    >dog owner
    >likes metal

    Maybe someone should grab you by the neck and slam you on the ground. Perchance.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You can't just randomly add perchance after sentences

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Methinks you can put 'perchance' whence ever in the sentence you please

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          whom'st've

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You won't be in trouble. But you should consider therapy. Also don't mix alcohol and medications. And maybe try not to get so drunk in the first place. And listening to aggressive music isn't an excuse for anything.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I agree with the last sentence to a huge degree. I'm a chill birder who is a metalhead. I've banded birds while listening to metal on earbuds and have never "accidentally" crushed one of the little guys.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Geese are not birds, they are annoying gays who cause issues and start fights even if you don't try to engage them

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Based fuck geese
    Go out and get another in front of their family so they learn not to fuck with the human

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You're going to jail

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
    just stop

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      OP is a car with arms and a really big dog

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I was in a forest that’s not terribly visited by many. I was chilling at the pond near the middle of it listening to music when a goose chose to get in my territory all pissed off. I tried giving it a light kick to fuck off, but it kept coming at me. I pulled out my slingshot and nailed it in the body with a ball bearing. This thing dropped like a rock while making weird noises. I got the fuck out of there before some baby complained to the ranger or something. I don’t feel bad about it. I wasn’t doing shit and this thing got aggravated. Too bad.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >I tried giving it a light kick to fuck off, but it kept coming at me. I pulled out my slingshot and nailed it in the body with a ball bearing.
      Why not giving it a hard kick instead?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I initially wasn’t trying to hurt or kill the thing, but after it wouldn’t leave me alone I had to get a little more serious. I didn’t thing the slingshot would kill it no matter how stupid that is in retrospect.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          It was legitimate to defend yourself anyway, anon, the goose was stupid enough to attack an animal ten times bigger than her.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It's ok the goose died quickly

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    goose are prime examples for what happens when you dont follow "dont start none, dont get none"

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      he died doing what he loved, picking fights with animals much larger than him for no reason other than existing
      they are like the pitbulls of birds

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    thats hilarious

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Fuck geese, his fault for thinking he could take on a human.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I like Slayer a lot but I think it's better not to listen to music outside. It's better to be aware of your environment for psychological reasons and security-wise.
    Nobody cares, but the goose family and friends, you won't have troubles, at worst you could have a fine.

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >take 10 benadryl to help relax
    How the fuck were you not tripping out? I had 2 and got extreme paranoia.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      you think that was a real goose he killed?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        OP, go look at the news for any reports of an assault/murder
        Don't go back to the scene of the crime, they'll be waiting for you

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Do not od on dyphenhydramine. It is a very unpleasant experience.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Benadryl is some strong shit. I wouldn't fuck with it if I were OP.
      And honestly I can't say anything good regarding his uncareful actions.

      >slammed it into the ground
      methinks you were looking for an excuse to kill, you don't "accidentally" slam something into the ground, especially by it's head/neck, have fun with that fine though!

      Even if I was in a state of mania/hypomania I wouldn't go out of my way to kill an innocent being. Poor goose.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >goose
        >innocent
        He said it tried fighting his dog

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          So fucking what ? What's the worst that could have happened ? Not a fucking thing ever is in danger when being attacked by a goose.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Kek you need to calm down, you have rage problems.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The cops are om their way right now OP.
    I hope you're ready to apologize to the goose's parents in court.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Naw. Unless it was a rich dude's pride and joy.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >slammed it into the ground
    methinks you were looking for an excuse to kill, you don't "accidentally" slam something into the ground, especially by it's head/neck, have fun with that fine though!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      He was pumped up on drugs listening to heavy metal. Tell me you wouldn't be more aggressive than usual under those circumstances.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Fair.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >erm methinks peepeepoopoo yuo dont accidentally poopoopeepee
      Holy shit dude you sound like a dork lmao
      Broseph was shocked and prolly had some adrenaline built up, I'd say it was self defense
      The geese aren't gonna fuck you btw

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >the geese aren't gonna fuck you
        Says the zoophile, projecting his insecurity onto others on a basketweeving forum

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I was doing the shes not gonna fuck you bit darryl

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Touch grass

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous
          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            the grass is all dead AND covered with about 3 inches of stale snow 🙁

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/2vm67K1.png

      >super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night
      >decide I'll take my dog for a walk to calm myself down
      >take 10 benadryl to help relax
      >dog and I walking neighborhood
      >have to tie his leash around my waist because I get a phone call
      >while on the phone a pack of geese start approaching us
      >try and caw like a crow since geese and crows don't get along
      >doesn't work
      >one goose starts hissing at my dog and tries to fight it
      >was listening to slayer so I'm pumped the fuck up
      >grab the goose by the neck and slam it into the ground
      >neck is like a wet noodle and the gooses body goes limp
      >realize what I just did
      >run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
      >lock myself in room with dog

      Do you guys think I'll get in trouble? I heard it's illegal to kill geese but it was completely in self defense. What are the rules when it comes to protecting yourself from a pack of feral geese?

      STORY TIME
      >2021
      >my bro just got out of us navy boot camp
      >he's in chicago
      >go to mcdonalds
      >sits down on a bench
      >asshole goose comes over
      >it rips up his mcdonalds bag and his food spills out
      >my brother punches the goose as hard as he could
      >it made a weird noise and its neck just went limp
      >my brother killed a goose over McDonald's
      Goosefags BTFO

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >killing wildlife to get burger
        Truly an American hero

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >methinks
      What kind of fucking idiot says shit like this?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >you don’t accidentally
      No life experience, self end.

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    At least eat it and be respectful. Oh wait that's illegal or something because because game warden can't tell the difference between poaching and accidental killing.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The goose likely won't be wasted. OP literally prepared a banquet for some fox or marten.

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