>super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night
>decide I'll take my dog for a walk to calm myself down
>take 10 benadryl to help relax
>dog and I walking neighborhood
>have to tie his leash around my waist because I get a phone call
>while on the phone a pack of geese start approaching us
>try and caw like a crow since geese and crows don't get along
>doesn't work
>one goose starts hissing at my dog and tries to fight it
>was listening to slayer so I'm pumped the fuck up
>grab the goose by the neck and slam it into the ground
>neck is like a wet noodle and the gooses body goes limp
>realize what I just did
>run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
>lock myself in room with dog
Do you guys think I'll get in trouble? I heard it's illegal to kill geese but it was completely in self defense. What are the rules when it comes to protecting yourself from a pack of feral geese?
Goose fucks around.
Goose finds out.
Who tf does bennies to "calm down" nagger you're one weird strain of a chucklefuck
>i-it was s-self defense
Yeah sure nagger
Can't fathom the homosexualry of this thread
>illegal to kill geese
>self defense
>pack of feral geese
are you talking about actual geese or is this code for something
>alcoholic
>violent
>dog owner
>likes metal
Maybe someone should grab you by the neck and slam you on the ground. Perchance.
You can't just randomly add perchance after sentences
Methinks you can put 'perchance' whence ever in the sentence you please
whom'st've
You won't be in trouble. But you should consider therapy. Also don't mix alcohol and medications. And maybe try not to get so drunk in the first place. And listening to aggressive music isn't an excuse for anything.
I agree with the last sentence to a huge degree. I'm a chill birder who is a metalhead. I've banded birds while listening to metal on earbuds and have never "accidentally" crushed one of the little guys.
Geese are not birds, they are annoying homosexuals who cause issues and start fights even if you don't try to engage them
Based fuck geese
Go out and get another in front of their family so they learn not to fuck with the human
You're going to jail
>run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
just stop
OP is a car with arms and a really big dog
I was in a forest that’s not terribly visited by many. I was chilling at the pond near the middle of it listening to music when a goose chose to get in my territory all pissed off. I tried giving it a light kick to fuck off, but it kept coming at me. I pulled out my slingshot and nailed it in the body with a ball bearing. This thing dropped like a rock while making weird noises. I got the fuck out of there before some baby complained to the ranger or something. I don’t feel bad about it. I wasn’t doing shit and this thing got aggravated. Too bad.
>I tried giving it a light kick to fuck off, but it kept coming at me. I pulled out my slingshot and nailed it in the body with a ball bearing.
Why not giving it a hard kick instead?
I initially wasn’t trying to hurt or kill the thing, but after it wouldn’t leave me alone I had to get a little more serious. I didn’t thing the slingshot would kill it no matter how stupid that is in retrospect.
It was legitimate to defend yourself anyway, anon, the goose was stupid enough to attack an animal ten times bigger than her.
It's ok the goose died quickly
goose are prime examples for what happens when you dont follow "dont start none, dont get none"
he died doing what he loved, picking fights with animals much larger than him for no reason other than existing
they are like the pitbulls of birds
thats hilarious
Fuck geese, his fault for thinking he could take on a human.
I like Slayer a lot but I think it's better not to listen to music outside. It's better to be aware of your environment for psychological reasons and security-wise.
Nobody cares, but the goose family and friends, you won't have troubles, at worst you could have a fine.
>take 10 benadryl to help relax
How the fuck were you not tripping out? I had 2 and got extreme paranoia.
you think that was a real goose he killed?
OP, go look at the news for any reports of an assault/murder
Don't go back to the scene of the crime, they'll be waiting for you
Do not od on dyphenhydramine. It is a very unpleasant experience.
Benadryl is some strong shit. I wouldn't fuck with it if I were OP.
And honestly I can't say anything good regarding his uncareful actions.
Even if I was in a state of mania/hypomania I wouldn't go out of my way to kill an innocent being. Poor goose.
>goose
>innocent
He said it tried fighting his dog
So fucking what ? What's the worst that could have happened ? Not a fucking thing ever is in danger when being attacked by a goose.
Kek you need to calm down, you have rage problems.
The cops are om their way right now OP.
I hope you're ready to apologize to the goose's parents in court.
Naw. Unless it was a rich dude's pride and joy.
>slammed it into the ground
methinks you were looking for an excuse to kill, you don't "accidentally" slam something into the ground, especially by it's head/neck, have fun with that fine though!
He was pumped up on drugs listening to heavy metal. Tell me you wouldn't be more aggressive than usual under those circumstances.
Fair.
>erm methinks peepeepoopoo yuo dont accidentally poopoopeepee
Holy shit dude you sound like a dork lmao
Broseph was shocked and prolly had some adrenaline built up, I'd say it was self defense
The geese aren't gonna fuck you btw
>the geese aren't gonna fuck you
Says the zoophile, projecting his insecurity onto others on a basketweeving forum
I was doing the shes not gonna fuck you bit darryl
Touch grass
the grass is all dead AND covered with about 3 inches of stale snow 🙁
STORY TIME
>2021
>my bro just got out of us navy boot camp
>he's in chicago
>go to mcdonalds
>sits down on a bench
>asshole goose comes over
>it rips up his mcdonalds bag and his food spills out
>my brother punches the goose as hard as he could
>it made a weird noise and its neck just went limp
>my brother killed a goose over McDonald's
Goosefags BTFO
>killing wildlife to get burger
Truly an American hero
>methinks
What kind of fucking idiot says shit like this?
>you don’t accidentally
No life experience, self end.
At least eat it and be respectful. Oh wait that's illegal or something because because game warden can't tell the difference between poaching and accidental killing.
The goose likely won't be wasted. OP literally prepared a banquet for some fox or marten.