>super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night

>super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night
>decide I'll take my dog for a walk to calm myself down
>take 10 benadryl to help relax
>dog and I walking neighborhood
>have to tie his leash around my waist because I get a phone call
>while on the phone a pack of geese start approaching us
>try and caw like a crow since geese and crows don't get along
>doesn't work
>one goose starts hissing at my dog and tries to fight it
>was listening to slayer so I'm pumped the frick up
>grab the goose by the neck and slam it into the ground
>neck is like a wet noodle and the gooses body goes limp
>realize what I just did
>run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
>lock myself in room with dog

Do you guys think I'll get in trouble? I heard it's illegal to kill geese but it was completely in self defense. What are the rules when it comes to protecting yourself from a pack of feral geese?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Goose fricks around.
    Goose finds out.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Who tf does bennies to "calm down" Black person you're one weird strain of a chucklefrick

    >i-it was s-self defense
    Yeah sure Black person
    Can't fathom the homosexualry of this thread

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >illegal to kill geese
    >self defense
    >pack of feral geese
    are you talking about actual geese or is this code for something

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >alcoholic
    >violent
    >dog owner
    >likes metal

    Maybe someone should grab you by the neck and slam you on the ground. Perchance.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You can't just randomly add perchance after sentences

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Methinks you can put 'perchance' whence ever in the sentence you please

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          whom'st've

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You won't be in trouble. But you should consider therapy. Also don't mix alcohol and medications. And maybe try not to get so drunk in the first place. And listening to aggressive music isn't an excuse for anything.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I agree with the last sentence to a huge degree. I'm a chill birder who is a metalhead. I've banded birds while listening to metal on earbuds and have never "accidentally" crushed one of the little guys.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Geese are not birds, they are annoying homosexuals who cause issues and start fights even if you don't try to engage them

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Based frick geese
    Go out and get another in front of their family so they learn not to frick with the human

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You're going to jail

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
    just stop

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      OP is a car with arms and a really big dog

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I was in a forest that’s not terribly visited by many. I was chilling at the pond near the middle of it listening to music when a goose chose to get in my territory all pissed off. I tried giving it a light kick to frick off, but it kept coming at me. I pulled out my slingshot and nailed it in the body with a ball bearing. This thing dropped like a rock while making weird noises. I got the frick out of there before some baby complained to the ranger or something. I don’t feel bad about it. I wasn’t doing shit and this thing got aggravated. Too bad.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >I tried giving it a light kick to frick off, but it kept coming at me. I pulled out my slingshot and nailed it in the body with a ball bearing.
      Why not giving it a hard kick instead?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I initially wasn’t trying to hurt or kill the thing, but after it wouldn’t leave me alone I had to get a little more serious. I didn’t thing the slingshot would kill it no matter how stupid that is in retrospect.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          It was legitimate to defend yourself anyway, anon, the goose was stupid enough to attack an animal ten times bigger than her.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It's ok the goose died quickly

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    goose are prime examples for what happens when you dont follow "dont start none, dont get none"

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      he died doing what he loved, picking fights with animals much larger than him for no reason other than existing
      they are like the pitbulls of birds

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    thats hilarious

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Frick geese, his fault for thinking he could take on a human.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I like Slayer a lot but I think it's better not to listen to music outside. It's better to be aware of your environment for psychological reasons and security-wise.
    Nobody cares, but the goose family and friends, you won't have troubles, at worst you could have a fine.

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >take 10 benadryl to help relax
    How the frick were you not tripping out? I had 2 and got extreme paranoia.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      you think that was a real goose he killed?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        OP, go look at the news for any reports of an assault/murder
        Don't go back to the scene of the crime, they'll be waiting for you

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Do not od on dyphenhydramine. It is a very unpleasant experience.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Benadryl is some strong shit. I wouldn't frick with it if I were OP.
      And honestly I can't say anything good regarding his uncareful actions.

      >slammed it into the ground
      methinks you were looking for an excuse to kill, you don't "accidentally" slam something into the ground, especially by it's head/neck, have fun with that fine though!

      Even if I was in a state of mania/hypomania I wouldn't go out of my way to kill an innocent being. Poor goose.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >goose
        >innocent
        He said it tried fighting his dog

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          So fricking what ? What's the worst that could have happened ? Not a fricking thing ever is in danger when being attacked by a goose.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Kek you need to calm down, you have rage problems.

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The cops are om their way right now OP.
    I hope you're ready to apologize to the goose's parents in court.

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Naw. Unless it was a rich dude's pride and joy.

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >slammed it into the ground
    methinks you were looking for an excuse to kill, you don't "accidentally" slam something into the ground, especially by it's head/neck, have fun with that fine though!

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      He was pumped up on drugs listening to heavy metal. Tell me you wouldn't be more aggressive than usual under those circumstances.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Fair.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >erm methinks peepeepoopoo yuo dont accidentally poopoopeepee
      Holy shit dude you sound like a dork lmao
      Broseph was shocked and prolly had some adrenaline built up, I'd say it was self defense
      The geese aren't gonna frick you btw

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >the geese aren't gonna frick you
        Says the zoophile, projecting his insecurity onto others on a basketweeving forum

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I was doing the shes not gonna frick you bit darryl

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Touch grass

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous
          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            the grass is all dead AND covered with about 3 inches of stale snow 🙁

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/2vm67K1.png

      >super pissed off because I got drunk and hit my head on the floor last night
      >decide I'll take my dog for a walk to calm myself down
      >take 10 benadryl to help relax
      >dog and I walking neighborhood
      >have to tie his leash around my waist because I get a phone call
      >while on the phone a pack of geese start approaching us
      >try and caw like a crow since geese and crows don't get along
      >doesn't work
      >one goose starts hissing at my dog and tries to fight it
      >was listening to slayer so I'm pumped the frick up
      >grab the goose by the neck and slam it into the ground
      >neck is like a wet noodle and the gooses body goes limp
      >realize what I just did
      >run back home after stopping at the gas station to fill up on gas
      >lock myself in room with dog

      Do you guys think I'll get in trouble? I heard it's illegal to kill geese but it was completely in self defense. What are the rules when it comes to protecting yourself from a pack of feral geese?

      STORY TIME
      >2021
      >my bro just got out of us navy boot camp
      >he's in chicago
      >go to mcdonalds
      >sits down on a bench
      >butthole goose comes over
      >it rips up his mcdonalds bag and his food spills out
      >my brother punches the goose as hard as he could
      >it made a weird noise and its neck just went limp
      >my brother killed a goose over McDonald's
      Goosegays BTFO

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >killing wildlife to get burger
        Truly an American hero

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >methinks
      What kind of fricking idiot says shit like this?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >you don’t accidentally
      No life experience, self end.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    At least eat it and be respectful. Oh wait that's illegal or something because because game warden can't tell the difference between poaching and accidental killing.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      The goose likely won't be wasted. OP literally prepared a banquet for some fox or marten.

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