>Sprays don't work. >Reflective surfaces don't work. >Moving gizmos don't work

>Sprays don't work
>Reflective surfaces don't work
>Moving gizmos don't work
>Gels don't work
>Ultrasounds don't work

Someone tells me how I can rid my balcony of these c**ts before I start literally shooting their heads off and tossing their headless corpses on the street as snacks for the neighborhood's cats.

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get 5 of them and starve them, wait until one of them learns to eat pidgeon meat. Remove the 4 dead pidgeons and repeat. Do this for a few weeks and then release the cannibal pidgeons and let them breed

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    close up your balcony with a net or glass

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Stop feeding them. Tell others to stop feeding them.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >balcony
    people who live in commieblocks arent people

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Gellet gun.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    you kinda fulfill the old grumpy grandpa archetype, who is miserable and hates when kids are having fun outside. you can't control what pigeons do, they submit to instinct, as you submit to anger. they have strong homing instincts, which causes them, when they claim a nesting area, to claim it for life. they also do the same with their partners. it is your choice to be upset at the inherent coding of mother nature herself, things will not change overnight with your newest inspector gadget rat traps, they will only end up frustrating you more at the inefficiency of your approach. i'd ask myself why i'm mad at the pidgeons to begin with, and why i can't forgive them for their faults. they do not operate on a human understanding of the world, you do. they operate within their pidgeon logic, and that is to keep coming back where they consider home.

    if you really want to result to violence, it is ultimately up to you, but perhaps before you do, you could attempt to befriend them, as they've been apart of our human heritage since ancient mesopotamia. it's not so hard, it only requires patience, understanding, and most importantly, food. maybe you will then understand why so many people devote their lives to this seemingly simple bird, maybe not. if anything, the wasted effort trying to ward them off isn't serving you, nor them. it's only making you more miserable, angry, and frustrated, which only strengthens your resolve towards violence, but there must be a reason you haven't pulled the trigger yet, anon.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You wrote all this without realizing OP can simply shoot them

      Animals are sacred but humans more so, pigeon shit should not bother a person

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        pigeon shit is a good way to get pneumonia, almost killed me a while back. Frick these stupid goddamn birds

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >pigeon shit is a good way to get pneumonia
          How? Just being around it?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Maybe not that easily, but in my case I went to brush a fair amount of droppings off a toolbox with a broom and the aerosolized shit particles must have gotten in a lung and I fell severely ill the next night, took a month to recover. Another guy was in the same area a year before while they were cleaning with a leafblower and same thing, guy almost died but in his case it was histoplasmosis due to interaction with another medication. So honestly yeah I hate these frickers, if it weren't for the shit they'd probably be cool

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              That’s pretty scary. I’ll definitely be more cautious around them I guess. Least you survived

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >coo coo

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    LOL I just caught an episode of King of the Hill about this on YouTube.
    If your wife cucking you? You might want to call a female pest exterminator.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      … what?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        its a bot post

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Chicken butt.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you bastard…

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get a cat

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pellet gun.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Gellet gun, I've been terrorizing the local chipmunks with one.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get a pet hawk and train it.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. A bird of prey will clean these frickers right up.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What's the up keep costs? Not op

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Get one pair to nest there

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Get a pet hawk and train it.

      The duality of man

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *