>My dog. >Goes 6 months between baths, smells neutral or good even when wet.

>My dog
>Goes 6 months between baths, smells neutral or good even when wet. Could skip baths entirely but it helps during shedding season
>Is cuddling with me right now
>Isn't totally obedient but isn't malicious either
>Easy and cheap to cook for, only other person I know who likes organ meat, chuck, rice, carrots, etc as much as I do
>Very friendly with most people, has only helped my social life
>Encourages me to carefully plan my future
>Shits in a distant corner of the yard where I don't have to smell it
>Happy to spend time with me but is polite and frank about it when she wants space
>Likes going outdoors
>Easy to carry 65lbs, mostly fluff
>Doesn't like hearing gunshots but doesn't care if I have guns
>Only horny for a week and a half out of the year

>My girlfriend
>Bathes daily, smells terrible if she doesn't use 5 different scented products and re-apply throughout the day or actually exercises
>Has been playing league of legends for the past 3 hours
>Is extremely submissive but is also malicious
>Nags me into getting uber eats at least 4 times a week
>Actually cost me friends by being a bitch to them
>Tries to push me into hasty decision making
>Clogged the toilet last night
>Gets angry instead of just leaving when she's done cuddling
>Hates going outdoors
>Keeps saying she feels unsafe because I own "nothing but machine guns"
>Hard to carry, 130lbs mostly thighs and belly
>Horny nightly

Should I dump my girlfriend and get 2 more dogs? It's almost not worth it.

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >My girlfriend
    >Bathes daily, smells terrible if she doesn't use 5 different scented products and re-apply throughout the day or actually exercises
    consider appreciating the aroma
    >Has been playing league of legends for the past 3 hours
    time to go
    >Is extremely submissive but is also malicious
    time to go
    >Nags me into getting uber eats at least 4 times a week
    definitely time to go
    get out of the cities man
    >Actually cost me friends by being a bitch to them
    time to go
    >Tries to push me into hasty decision making
    >Clogged the toilet last night
    did she unclog it?
    >Gets angry instead of just leaving when she's done cuddling
    wtf do you mean "done" cuddling? sounds like she doesn't even like you
    >Hates going outdoors
    TIME TO FUCKING GO GET RID OF HER
    >Keeps saying she feels unsafe because I own "nothing but machine guns"
    time to go to the range with her so she doesn't feel that way
    >Hard to carry, 130lbs mostly thighs and belly
    too small
    >Horny nightly
    nice but yes it does present a problem down the line
    >Should I dump my girlfriend and get 2 more dogs? It's almost not worth it.
    dump her at least
    not marriage material

    GET OUT OF THE CITIES YOU FUCKER

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    dog > gf but for sure but the ideal situation you should strive for is getting a non subhuman gf who loves your dog as much as you do

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >only horny a week and a half out of the year
    holy shit get your fucking testosterone levels checked
    taje some vitamin D supplements
    fuck man
    go outside and get some sunlight
    you are not right
    are you like 55 or something?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the dog, not him

      female dogs are only horny for a portion of their heat cycle and large primitive breeds like malamutes only go in heat for 2-3 weeks once a year.

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    OP is deffo eating cookie every night

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Wouldn't that hurt the dog?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You gotta wait till they're 2 years old and only when THEY initiate the sex. YOU CAN't JUST GO UP TO THEM AND FINGER THEM. They have to show their butt towards you and waging their tail. You can't just initiate sex. It doesn't work like for female dogs. And their vagina is swollen
      >Wouldn't that hurt the dog?
      Only the first time for doggos
      If she's a virgin, after that her vagina accustoms herself to penises. This also applies to humans. As well.
      You do realize dog dicks are almost the same size as humans?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >only when she initiates
        So you gotta simp for your own dog? Lmao what's the point

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >So you gotta simp for your own dog? Lmao what's the point
          I have 4 Siberian Huskies female I got off craigslist
          Uhh
          I'm outnumbered
          I don't want them to turn against me and maul me to death
          I'm not exactly the toughest guy
          And these dogs are pretty strong

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >unironically dating a human

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, she deserves better than some neckbeard talking shit about her online instead of communicating with her like an adult.
    >implying this isn't a larp.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I am unironically more chad than her as well as anyone she’s ever dated and i hooked up thinking she would eventually grow up but even after I bought her lessons she doesn’t even know how to cook. I’m just waiting for an excuse to dump her that won’t lead to her killing the girl that i’m beginning to realize I always loved more than her. Maybe if I can move a week later. She has said some pretty edgy shit implying she’s not the biggest fan of my qt patootie malamootie.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Let me guess, support main.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >dump both bitches
    >freedom

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Freedom is for children. Men accept the challenge of constraint.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >t. slave

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >t. Genetic dead end, equivalent to the depressed alcoholic child-free wine aunt forever in a child’s mindset.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Lashing out at strangers on Wauf sure is an interesting way to cope. I hope you find peace in your life, anon.

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Disregard girlfriend
    Marry the dog

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/gBRDqL0.gif

      >unironically dating a human

      You guys don't really fuck your dogs do you?

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    my dog is similar except shit doesnt stink, he doesnt shed and he can go anywhere a duffle bag can go

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >dog has odorless shits
      Are you feeding them chalk and listerine?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        no
        just a good balanced whole food diet
        i wouldnt get on the ground next to it and take a big whiff but its cohesive and dry enough that i dont need him to shit way off in secluded place to avoid the stench

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          All shit stinks are you nuts

          Sun baked dogshit yard is the worst

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            i dont leave it on the yard to sunbake like a hillbilly

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              It sunbakes within a minute. You’re picking it up right away? Lol

              That’s still better than a gamer gf that has horrendous shits at least twice a day

Your email address will not be published.