If you're us, what appeared to be a carnie goldfish was in fact a Prussian fucking carp that the carnie had definitely just pulled out of one of our town's many lakes. Got it this gorgeous 20 gallon tank, accessories, tank-cleaning species and a few little friends for company. Everything's gonna be great, we are A+++ new fish owners up in here. The fucker won't stop growing. Just gets bigger and bigger, eating all the food and shitting up the tank. Big grey slab of asshole fish. Never pretty, never golden, never pleasant to have; just endlessly growing and shitting and bullying the smaller fish.
It lived for eight goddamn years.
At this rate we can make it to one year
Nah, I'll destroy it a week before the anniversary.
You shouldn't have admitted that. Now I'm going to ensure your plan fails.
Jesus Christ this thread is still here
this thread is an Wauf institution at this point.
I miss the arctic tern thread.
Hope another one terns up.
Op you shouldn't house Cyprinids with other fish because they produce a chemical that breaks down vitamin a. Also get one of those 12 ft diameter pools with metal poles, it'll be much happier there
>Cyprinids
Do you mean cryptids?
>Big grey slab of asshole fish. Never pretty, never golden, never pleasant to have; just endlessly growing and shitting and bullying the smaller fish.
Sounds like a healthy and happy fish to me.
I guarentee you mods left this up and will leave it up for 8 years just as a shit post
Eight years seems a bit unlikely.
I'm honored to be the one that posted le fishe and quoted the carp scene from exorcist 3
What a carpy post
It’s nearly dead.
I want to move on from guppies to cooler fish but now I have dozens of guppies, can I just clove oil them all and will jesus forgive me
get a cichlid that will eat the guppies
Jesus doesn't care about guppies.
Don't mind me helping it along.
I really hope it autosages into oblivion soon.
A question: I fished one of these as a kid, brought it home and put it in a fish tank. Grew a lot, alwaysthe same color as OP's pic. Suddenly go on a trip, fish tank gets extremely dirty, cant-see-fish level of dirty by the time I come back. Clean tank, carp is now gold. Like, not dirty or yellow, genuinely went from wild brown to vibrant gold. Remained that color until the day it died, years later.
My question, did the color change have something to do with the water getting so dirty?
>inb4 anon u retard ur fish died and ur parents bought a different one
Unlikely since no one bothered to keep the tank clean while I was gone for like 2 months, and it was the same type of wild carp, they couldn't know where to fish one, can't be bought at a store here either.
Oh wow I completely forgot I had ever posted in this thread
>6/16/22
How is this thread still alive
Some schizo is running a script on it
Better than running a train on it.
Goldfish are known to change colour. Maybe the carp you bought simply was a goldfish some other cunt threw in the lake, changed to brown (not abnormal) and then you found the poor thing and put it back in a glass tank and it simply changed back.
On a related note, I just found out the echidna has FOUR penises. Now I understand why Knuckles always looks so happy.
Isn't it funny that the reproductive organs always seem to be the first thing """scientists""" study?
What's so funny about that?
yeah
funny
haha
Well, it IS funny. Horny scientists, anon.
The Horny Scientists would be a good gang name.
HERE I COME
ROUGHER THAN THE REST OF THEM
We did it reddit
this thread is still up? what the fuck
It's pretty eerie.
Is Eerie the pretty lake that the carnie definitely pulled the Prussian fucking carp out of?
Obviously not because why would a Prussian carp be in Michigan. They're from Prussia.
please tell us why you keep doing this
He seems to be spelling something. A message, perhaps?
He justs posts 'e' and then deletes it.
A literal spambot.
Or, he's spelling "EEEEEE." Think about it.
Wait, it it "e" or "E" that he is posting? Because that's the difference between "eeeeee" and "EEEEEE".
The world may never know.
Honestly, fish are amazing.
How the fuck is this thread still up?
Somebody keeps "stealth bumping" it with a script.
https://desuarchive.org/an/search/tnum/3966526/deleted/deleted/
Maybe he got banned and his posts got deleted. Ever think of that, genius?
Deletion time has been around 2-8 minutes for those bumps, janitors usually take hours to delete shitposts.
The window of deletion for regular users on most boards is 1 minute till 30 minutes.
See https://archive.alice.al/bant/thread/15268080/#15268080
That is an insanely bad thread. And it got stickied? What the fuck is wrong with /bant/ mods?
This thread is pretty bad, imagine "stealth-bumping" a thread for months.
It's not as bad as that /bant/ thread.
/bant/ is an insane board.
>It lived for eight goddamn years
Pathetic. Honestly you should have just dropped it back in the River.
>This thread has been up for nearly 200 days and only now I've acknowledged its existence.
How the fuck did this escape my radar? I've been lurking the catalog to the bottom for a while. Have I been a victim of PsyOps?
The only one PsyOpsing you is yourself, autist.
Rude
Maybe the real psyop was the autists we met on the way.
You're right, you know.
Ye
there are many benefits to having a fish
They are very benefishal.
Is it possible that Phone Guy was William Afton?
Kek, I can't believe this thread is still up
look at all these newfags in this thread
I'm ashamed of a lot of you
What?
i also like fish
Extremely kino fish
There are many stories to tell about fish.
Tell me some
The adventure begins in the Atlantic Ocean when Freddi Fish visits Grandma Grouper with a gift of flowers. Grandma Grouper is sad and when asked why, she informs Freddi that her treasure chest full of kelp seeds has been stolen. As a result, her garden began to wilt and left them with no food. Courageously, Freddi promises to find Grandma Grouper's stolen treasure chest. This puts a smile on Grandma Grouper's face and she gives Freddi her last peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich to take on her journey.
After going a short distance from Grandma Grouper's house, Freddi finds her friend Luther trying to swim loop-de-loops. She shows Luther how to do it and he tries again, hitting his head on some coral. A bottle is knocked loose and slowly lands on the ground. When Freddi and Luther investigate, they discover that a note has been lodged inside the bottle. After reading the note and finding a message telling them where the treasure is, Freddi and Luther begin their journey to find the missing kelp seeds.
However at the same time, it's revealed that two sharks named Spongehead and Boss were the ones that stole the treasure as part of their plan to help the Squidfather grow kelp. The bottles that Freddi and Luther found were directions that Spongehead created so he could find his way back to the treasure after he hid it. Boss is furious over not remembering where the treasure is or the bottles that lead the way to it so he takes him to the Squidfather as punishment. The Squidfather is enraged at this revelation, causing him to spew out ink. Out of fear, Spongehead remembers where the treasure is, so the sharks go to retrieve it.
When the final clue reveals that the treasure is at the sunken ship, Freddi and Luther go there and retrieve the treasure, but the two are stopped by Spongehead and Boss who want the treasure. Freddi explains that the kelp treasure is for everyone to share, and the sharks plan on sharing.
No
hello /r/drama
It’s just rdrama now r-slur, get it right.
This thread makes me question my sanity
I didn’t understand what you meant until I saw the original post date.
I still don't understand.
No one will ever understand.
*I* understand.
test
This thread is demented
Fish are demented.
Is this the longest lived thread currently on the catalogue?
It's just like the OP's carp
It lived for eight years.
For me I like cod. One of the top tastiest fish to me.
you gonna delete your post?
Why would I delete a post about fish in the fish thread? What a nonsensical thing to ask.
This fish ruined my day.
good
This exact thread with this exact text has been made before and I don't know why it's being made again, it's not like there's anything funny about it.
Oh? Can you prove it?
Close
https://desuarchive.org/_/search/text/carp%20had%20eight/image/UYdUBdDByylMND-iOcIsvw/
Huh. I made this thread originally so I'm kind of confused that someone thought it was worth reposting a million times on /int/. Especially because it has nothing to do with /int/. But I guess I'm honored that someone liked my post that much.
This is not the Dead Sea.
Not many things are.
Oh REALLY?
I learned about this from an anime. There was a whole plot line about some horrible stench on the university campus and it turned out to be surströmming that the professor had buried in the ground or something.
There's a video of a guy opening one of these cans in his car, The shit sprayed everywhere.
I found this.
I presume he's gay, but the video is pretty funny.
That is way more makeup than the average woman. He looks like an autist.
please stop it
ok, sorry
lol
It's pretty funny.
Fish are typical.
This thread seems to be pretty atypical, if you know what I mean.
How so?
Someone keeps bumping the thread and ten deleting their post.
Fish are very fish-like.
I remember this thread. I thought it was a repost. Apparently not. Wew.
I like the chubby look of goldfish, but don't like the fact that they need room to grow over a foot. Is there a similarly cute chubby fish like that but that doesn't require tons of tank room?
I'm not sure what you mean. maybe convicts or rams
Fancy goldfish dont get a foot long
WHAT?!
He’s gonna grow a foot and a half long
You could try getting a pre form pond from a hand ware store, fill up on dechlorinated water and pothos plants and throw little Josephi Fisc in there
That would have been good advice eight years ago.
a healthy goldfish lives 15 years and gets half the length of a 20 gallon tank.
you'd need a tank 10 times as large to be an A+ new fish owner.
I'd place a significant bet that it was a goldfish all along and you're just retarded.
Carassius carassius
or
Carassius gibelio
Carnivalius fishus
I bought like 5 very similar fish from a bait shop. I was planning to release them in the town fountain, but the fountain water was bright blue with chemicals, so I kept them as pets. With time they died one by one, until only 1 survived. So now I got interested in what exactly kind of fish it, because it looks similar to all kinds of native fish here, but not quite so. This is Bulgaria we are talking about. I'm not really knowledgeable about fish, but I thought it was some sort of a common roach. Now I started checking species and the thing it looks the most like is this little fucker
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigorobuna
Can anyone tell me what else it might be? I find it hard to believe I found fish endemic Japanese fish in Bumfuck Nowhere, Bulgaria.
This is a pic of the fucker.
That is a juvenile upside-down carp
Can you tell me the exact type of carp?
No, I’m just fooling around… but don’t release fish
Noted. I was told the same in the aquarium general.
eat it
That's a very lovely fish in the OP pic, what are you so angry about?
Who the fuck is angry?
This shit up from October.. slow board ass damn nigga what the fuck
The Hunt for Red October
Five hunts for red october...
Wonder if any of that matters.
Not to a flibber bobber
Sounds like a fish.
goldfish come in grey and are so cheap it's easier to buy one than go catch a wild carp. they also get too large to live in a 20 gallon tank.
Nobody lied to you; This is nobody's fault but yours.
Then why didn't the other fish grow?
I'm gonna ask one question.
They can’t grow because they can’t drink milk
You've got to make them talk about themselves. A lot of people only want to talk about themselves.
Real reason is that many fish, particularly goldfish, excrete hormones that inhibit growth (ex. gamma-aminobutyric acid). In an environment like a lake or river, the water volume and natural filtration is such that this isn't an issue. In an aquarium, this GABA hormone gets concentrated. Generally the healthiest, biggest fish tends to stay ahead of the pack, e.g. one fish due to luck or genetics will grow slightly faster than the others at first, and that initial lead in growth will snowball into potentially a lifetime lead. Somatostatin is also another example where the biggest fish will excrete it specifically to inhibit the growth of rival fish. This is often seen in betta fry/juvenile growth.
These hormones don't just stunt growth, but also inhibit immune, reproductive functions, and appetite so fish subject to this kind of concentrated GABA environment will be less healthy, potentially sterile, and unlikely to get optimal nutrition.
The effects of this phenomenon on long term lifespan haven't been studied all that well, and it anecdotally seems highly variable. The vast majority of fish kept in these conditions just die within weeks if not days. Then there's bound to be some outlier that had a goldfish life for years, if not decades, and proclaim himself or herself to be a world's best aquarist. The latter group tends to forget about the dozens of fish that have died before he or she lucked out with a genetically strong specimen.
High quality post, thank you for your service Anon
>
Oh boy
I have one word to say: Moist.
What fucking horseshit.
wait what the fuck, has this thread been reposted or is it the same one? coulda sworn it was gone for a while
Same one, 64 days.
Holy shit, 64. Kind of like Mario 64 when you think about it.
I was just thinking the same thing.
RIP fish anyway
Why are you looking so closely at my Ball?
The carnie didn't net a school of minnows when he rolled into town.
He went to the local pet store/exotic fish/bait shop.
Blame your local retailer for buying feeder goldfish by the pound at the cheapest cost. The breeder he git them from screwed you over.
And it doesn't help that the same carnie will drop his leftovers in a ditch so he doesn't have to deal with them for 4 days until the next event.
>t. Mom worked Calexpo when I was a kid.
Cool.
If you got a common goldfish, the same thing would've happened, numbnuts. Goldfish are also carp:
>Native to East Asia, the goldfish is a relatively small member of the carp family (which also includes the Prussian carp and the crucian carp).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldfish
In decent conditions they'll grow to over a foot long. In indoor tanks they tend to grow to "only" about half a foot. Likewise they are known as shit machines and very destructive to any plants you may want to plant.
Then what kind of goldfish are you supposed to get?
Well, there are fancy goldfish that stay a smaller, but goldfish are not really meant for tanks at all. They're mostly pond fish. Platies are a good substitute if you just want an orange fish (although they do come in lots of other colors), you can have a nice little school of 6 or so in a 20 gallon, just add a heater because they're not cold water like goldfish.
Don't people generally keep like a single goldfish in a bowl? Is that normal to do or is that bad for the goldfish too?
goldfish in a bowl is basicly a cut flower in the vase
it is able to live there a bit, but only last a fraction of it's 10-15 year or even longer lifespan
They can live FIFTEEN years? And here I had it in my head that fish were just short-lived animals. Apparently that's just a result of how they're treated.
A lot of pet fishes don't live long, average lifespan between 2-5 years. Betta fish, small tetras, guppies, platies all around this expectancy.
Some fish are long lived like the gold fish, oscar fish, discus fish, ancistrus, pleco, these live 10-20 years.
I’ve had clownfish that pushed 20 years and an eel on her 18th year but not sure how old she actually is but I got her young
Of all pets, you've had an eel for eighteen years? That's impressive. I'm curious what led to you getting an eel.
If your goldfish dies at the age of 10 you can be absolutely sure that it died prematurely.
Koi can live over 200 years.
The fuck? How do people know that when people don't live for 200 years?
How do you know WW1 happened when there are no vets alive from that time?
You can count the scale rings just like tree rings. The oldest koi lived to 226.
Carbon dating
Why would you date carbon?
to see approximately how old a living thing was
>They can live FIFTEEN years? And here I had it in my head that fish were just short-lived animals
They can make it to 40 in the right conditions. It's not that fish live a long time, it's more that mammals live a short time. Even birds live longer than mammals do. Mammals were eternally BTFO in regards to aging as soon as we started generating body heat (which birds somehow managed without getting fucked as hard).
>5" reptile?
>40 years
>5" fish?
>40 years
>5" bird?
>35 years
>5" mammal?
>4 YEARS, FUCK YOU!
never seen a fish do that
You've never seen it, but it's not impossible for a fish to do. I think a salmon could probably do it.
Sorry non mammal virgin, but bats prove you wrong
>15
the oldest goldfish are 40-50 years old. 10-15ish is pretty normal for a fish kept in good conditions and not a shitty unfiltered bowl.
None they suck
Fancies get up to 6in and its recommended to keep them in huge indoor tanks. They don't get as big as single tail varieties but still get bigger than you might think.
Ed?
This thread makes even less sense than the stern one
Stern people don't get places very fast.
They do if they have fishsticks.
Are you sure about that? It makes perfect sense to me.
Everything makes sense to you.
Should I get a pet goldfish?
Yes
Sorry but... cichlid master race!
I think lake Victoria SUCKS
I think Coolsville ROCKS!
Jaguar Cichlid is top tier, broken even
Have you ever considered returning it to the lake it was pulled from?
I'll tell it to RETURN TO THE SEA! A SHARK IS ALL YOU'LL EVER BE!
>It lived for eight goddamn years
That's not their full lifespan. What happened?
He hated it. What do you think happened?
Fuckin' carnie!
Squid though
Delicious.
And I hate it. I can't stand the sight of it. Moving its gills.
Get in. What are you, a fag?
but what if it buys your wee wee?? xD what if it thinks its a worm xD
You punch it still it spits out your duck, then you sew it back on
Fish don't have teeth, they are incapable of biting off your dick.
Those are clearly Tom Cruise's teeth edited onto a fish.
you don't know
Oh yeah? Real big into Tom's teeth are ya? Would know them anywhere, any time, any place, huh? A top authority on spotting celebrity teeth are we?
No just Tom Cruise's
They are very noticeably misaligned teeth. I don't know much about teeth but I could spot Tom Cruise's teeth from a mile away.
What the actual fuck.
It's called a drum, we find their teeth in Florida archaeological sites and it's a nightmare because they look so similar to human teeth that everyone gets all hyped up and then the fucking icthyologist has to come and ruin it with "its just fish teeth see the root blah blah blah"
>It’s called a drum
Not it’s not, the fish in that picture is a sheepshead (family Sparidae). Completely different family from drum (Scaenidae)
Drum have different pharyngeal teeth (hidden back in the throat)
There’s a whole order of fish with teeth resembling ours, the tetraodontiformes. There exist many other lineages in percamorphes that have similar teeth.
the beaks some of them have can destroy your dick easily
I'll destroy your dick with my mouth in a minute.
I'D LOVE TO GET MY DICK IN THAT
Is that a Rainbow, Brook, or Trout?
Me and my friend are having an argument
It's a sewer salmon.
You're a sewer salmon.
The Poisson
Poison*
The water should be boiling hot
YOU SHOULD BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!
You should not forget the salt
http://en.foodtravel.tv/recfoodShow_Detail.aspx?viewId=491
Why is it cut up like that?
The air goes into the meat and enhances the flavor
I'm not sure that's a real thing.
You're not a real thing
Ah yes air, that Hispanicy additive we all love
They "aerate" things for a reason.
I aerate my balls because it's good for them. But aerating fish is bad for them because they breathe water.
To cut the fishbones into smaller pieces. These fish have nasty Y shaped bones.
Not just cut those shitty y-bones into smaller pieces, but also get hot oil on them, so the calcium becomes brittle. After it's been deep fried, they bcome crunchy and you eat it bones and all.
Other than the piss that looks delicious.
I would drink all the piss. And the yellow stuff in the image looks pretty good too.
It’s cute
at least you didn’t clove oil it i guess?
> clove oil it
Does that kill fish?
Kills 'em good
Clove oil would kill anything.
What do you mean it would kill anything? What's the deal with clove oil?
Look it up.
I did; some mentions of eugenol liver toxicity and such but nothing relating to it "killing everything"
A few drops into a fish tank is like dropping a nuke.
Is there a reason to do it besides being a dick?
I assume if you need to euthanize a suffering fish
Basically causes nerve damage as well. People put clove oil on chronic tooth pain which kills the nerve but also burns the area IIRC
Dang. And people use that in food? Are they stupid?
some people smoke 'em
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew
No way.
Couple of cloves in a pot won't do much beside giving it some flavour and nice smell. You need more to make oil.
If you are not eating spoons of it every day, its ok.
I work at a pet shop, we euthanize dying fish with clove oil. It acts as an aquatic sedative but to euthanize them you just od them on it. It breaks my heart but its painless and better for them than getting eaten alive while they die of swim bladder problems.
I make a pot of boling water and drop them in. Is that inhumane..!? Fuck l feel like shit now, all this time l thought that wasthe best painess way :_(
If you ever want to live on the complete fucking wild side use clove oil as aftershave. Your balls will quadruple in size and youll grow enough ass hair to knit an asswool sweater out of.
Really?
Did you eat it?
Talk to me about Prussian carp.
There is a all female clonal strain of Prussian carps. It reproduces by stealing other fishes sperm for fertilisation, but doesn't take up the DNA. This lineage is currently invasive in much of Europe.
>It reproduces by stealing other fishes sperm for fertilisation, but doesn't take up the DNA.
A literal succubus of the freshwater world, absolutely abhorrent.
Doesn't that also mean it's really good at having sex, though?
What do you even know about sex, fatass?
MORE THAN YOU
It's good at tricking crucian carp and common carp into having sex with it.
stop talking carp
>reproduces by stealing other fishes sperm for fertilisation, but doesn't take up the DNA.
How is that possible
Very carefully.
You know what's great to do is when someone says something stupid just say "...". It unsettles them greatly.
The sperm activates the egg and it starts dividing, but only the prussian carp genome multiplies while the sperm is degraded
That's just asexual reproduction with extra steps.
YOU'RE asexual.
Source?
Personal experience.
Oh no
OH NYO
the yucatan molly does something similar
RIP ?