If you're us, what appeared to be a carnie goldfish was in fact a Prussian fucking carp that the carnie had definitely just pulled out of one of ...

If you're us, what appeared to be a carnie goldfish was in fact a Prussian fucking carp that the carnie had definitely just pulled out of one of our town's many lakes. Got it this gorgeous 20 gallon tank, accessories, tank-cleaning species and a few little friends for company. Everything's gonna be great, we are A+++ new fish owners up in here. The fucker won't stop growing. Just gets bigger and bigger, eating all the food and shitting up the tank. Big grey slab of asshole fish. Never pretty, never golden, never pleasant to have; just endlessly growing and shitting and bullying the smaller fish.

It lived for eight goddamn years.

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    At this rate we can make it to one year

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, I'll destroy it a week before the anniversary.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You shouldn't have admitted that. Now I'm going to ensure your plan fails.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Jesus Christ this thread is still here

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      this thread is an Wauf institution at this point.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I miss the arctic tern thread.
        Hope another one terns up.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Op you shouldn't house Cyprinids with other fish because they produce a chemical that breaks down vitamin a. Also get one of those 12 ft diameter pools with metal poles, it'll be much happier there

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Cyprinids
      Do you mean cryptids?

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Big grey slab of asshole fish. Never pretty, never golden, never pleasant to have; just endlessly growing and shitting and bullying the smaller fish.
    Sounds like a healthy and happy fish to me.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I guarentee you mods left this up and will leave it up for 8 years just as a shit post

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Eight years seems a bit unlikely.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I'm honored to be the one that posted le fishe and quoted the carp scene from exorcist 3

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        What a carpy post

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It’s nearly dead.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I want to move on from guppies to cooler fish but now I have dozens of guppies, can I just clove oil them all and will jesus forgive me

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      get a cichlid that will eat the guppies

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Jesus doesn't care about guppies.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Don't mind me helping it along.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I really hope it autosages into oblivion soon.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    A question: I fished one of these as a kid, brought it home and put it in a fish tank. Grew a lot, alwaysthe same color as OP's pic. Suddenly go on a trip, fish tank gets extremely dirty, cant-see-fish level of dirty by the time I come back. Clean tank, carp is now gold. Like, not dirty or yellow, genuinely went from wild brown to vibrant gold. Remained that color until the day it died, years later.

    My question, did the color change have something to do with the water getting so dirty?
    >inb4 anon u retard ur fish died and ur parents bought a different one
    Unlikely since no one bothered to keep the tank clean while I was gone for like 2 months, and it was the same type of wild carp, they couldn't know where to fish one, can't be bought at a store here either.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Oh wow I completely forgot I had ever posted in this thread
      >6/16/22
      How is this thread still alive

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Some schizo is running a script on it

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Better than running a train on it.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Goldfish are known to change colour. Maybe the carp you bought simply was a goldfish some other cunt threw in the lake, changed to brown (not abnormal) and then you found the poor thing and put it back in a glass tank and it simply changed back.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    On a related note, I just found out the echidna has FOUR penises. Now I understand why Knuckles always looks so happy.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Isn't it funny that the reproductive organs always seem to be the first thing """scientists""" study?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        What's so funny about that?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        yeah
        funny
        haha

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Well, it IS funny. Horny scientists, anon.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            The Horny Scientists would be a good gang name.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      HERE I COME
      ROUGHER THAN THE REST OF THEM

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      We did it reddit

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    this thread is still up? what the fuck

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's pretty eerie.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is Eerie the pretty lake that the carnie definitely pulled the Prussian fucking carp out of?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Obviously not because why would a Prussian carp be in Michigan. They're from Prussia.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    [...]

    [...]

    please tell us why you keep doing this

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He seems to be spelling something. A message, perhaps?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        He justs posts 'e' and then deletes it.
        A literal spambot.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Or, he's spelling "EEEEEE." Think about it.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Wait, it it "e" or "E" that he is posting? Because that's the difference between "eeeeee" and "EEEEEE".

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              The world may never know.

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly, fish are amazing.

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    How the fuck is this thread still up?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Somebody keeps "stealth bumping" it with a script.
      https://desuarchive.org/an/search/tnum/3966526/deleted/deleted/

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe he got banned and his posts got deleted. Ever think of that, genius?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Deletion time has been around 2-8 minutes for those bumps, janitors usually take hours to delete shitposts.
          The window of deletion for regular users on most boards is 1 minute till 30 minutes.

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    See https://archive.alice.al/bant/thread/15268080/#15268080

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      That is an insanely bad thread. And it got stickied? What the fuck is wrong with /bant/ mods?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        This thread is pretty bad, imagine "stealth-bumping" a thread for months.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's not as bad as that /bant/ thread.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        /bant/ is an insane board.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >It lived for eight goddamn years
    Pathetic. Honestly you should have just dropped it back in the River.

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >This thread has been up for nearly 200 days and only now I've acknowledged its existence.
    How the fuck did this escape my radar? I've been lurking the catalog to the bottom for a while. Have I been a victim of PsyOps?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      The only one PsyOpsing you is yourself, autist.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Rude

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Maybe the real psyop was the autists we met on the way.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            You're right, you know.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Ye

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    there are many benefits to having a fish

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      They are very benefishal.

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is it possible that Phone Guy was William Afton?

  20. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Kek, I can't believe this thread is still up

  21. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    look at all these newfags in this thread
    I'm ashamed of a lot of you

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      What?

  22. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    i also like fish

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Extremely kino fish

  23. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    There are many stories to tell about fish.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tell me some

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        The adventure begins in the Atlantic Ocean when Freddi Fish visits Grandma Grouper with a gift of flowers. Grandma Grouper is sad and when asked why, she informs Freddi that her treasure chest full of kelp seeds has been stolen. As a result, her garden began to wilt and left them with no food. Courageously, Freddi promises to find Grandma Grouper's stolen treasure chest. This puts a smile on Grandma Grouper's face and she gives Freddi her last peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich to take on her journey.

        After going a short distance from Grandma Grouper's house, Freddi finds her friend Luther trying to swim loop-de-loops. She shows Luther how to do it and he tries again, hitting his head on some coral. A bottle is knocked loose and slowly lands on the ground. When Freddi and Luther investigate, they discover that a note has been lodged inside the bottle. After reading the note and finding a message telling them where the treasure is, Freddi and Luther begin their journey to find the missing kelp seeds.

        However at the same time, it's revealed that two sharks named Spongehead and Boss were the ones that stole the treasure as part of their plan to help the Squidfather grow kelp. The bottles that Freddi and Luther found were directions that Spongehead created so he could find his way back to the treasure after he hid it. Boss is furious over not remembering where the treasure is or the bottles that lead the way to it so he takes him to the Squidfather as punishment. The Squidfather is enraged at this revelation, causing him to spew out ink. Out of fear, Spongehead remembers where the treasure is, so the sharks go to retrieve it.

        When the final clue reveals that the treasure is at the sunken ship, Freddi and Luther go there and retrieve the treasure, but the two are stopped by Spongehead and Boss who want the treasure. Freddi explains that the kelp treasure is for everyone to share, and the sharks plan on sharing.

  24. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    No

  25. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    hello /r/drama

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s just rdrama now r-slur, get it right.

  26. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    This thread makes me question my sanity

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      I didn’t understand what you meant until I saw the original post date.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I still don't understand.

        • 4 months ago
          Anonymous

          No one will ever understand.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            *I* understand.

  27. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    test

  28. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    This thread is demented

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      Fish are demented.

  29. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is this the longest lived thread currently on the catalogue?

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's just like the OP's carp

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        It lived for eight years.

  30. 4 months ago
    Anonymous

    For me I like cod. One of the top tastiest fish to me.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      you gonna delete your post?

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why would I delete a post about fish in the fish thread? What a nonsensical thing to ask.

  31. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    This fish ruined my day.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      good

  32. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    This exact thread with this exact text has been made before and I don't know why it's being made again, it's not like there's anything funny about it.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Oh? Can you prove it?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Close
      https://desuarchive.org/_/search/text/carp%20had%20eight/image/UYdUBdDByylMND-iOcIsvw/

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Huh. I made this thread originally so I'm kind of confused that someone thought it was worth reposting a million times on /int/. Especially because it has nothing to do with /int/. But I guess I'm honored that someone liked my post that much.

  33. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is not the Dead Sea.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not many things are.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Oh REALLY?

  34. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I learned about this from an anime. There was a whole plot line about some horrible stench on the university campus and it turned out to be surströmming that the professor had buried in the ground or something.

    • 4 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's a video of a guy opening one of these cans in his car, The shit sprayed everywhere.

      • 4 months ago
        Anonymous

        I found this.

        I presume he's gay, but the video is pretty funny.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          That is way more makeup than the average woman. He looks like an autist.

  35. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    please stop it

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      ok, sorry

  36. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    lol

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's pretty funny.

  37. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Fish are typical.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This thread seems to be pretty atypical, if you know what I mean.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        How so?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Someone keeps bumping the thread and ten deleting their post.

  38. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Fish are very fish-like.

  39. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I remember this thread. I thought it was a repost. Apparently not. Wew.

  40. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I like the chubby look of goldfish, but don't like the fact that they need room to grow over a foot. Is there a similarly cute chubby fish like that but that doesn't require tons of tank room?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'm not sure what you mean. maybe convicts or rams

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Fancy goldfish dont get a foot long

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        WHAT?!

  41. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    He’s gonna grow a foot and a half long
    You could try getting a pre form pond from a hand ware store, fill up on dechlorinated water and pothos plants and throw little Josephi Fisc in there

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      That would have been good advice eight years ago.

  42. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    a healthy goldfish lives 15 years and gets half the length of a 20 gallon tank.
    you'd need a tank 10 times as large to be an A+ new fish owner.
    I'd place a significant bet that it was a goldfish all along and you're just retarded.

  43. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    Carassius carassius
    or
    Carassius gibelio

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Carnivalius fishus

  44. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    I bought like 5 very similar fish from a bait shop. I was planning to release them in the town fountain, but the fountain water was bright blue with chemicals, so I kept them as pets. With time they died one by one, until only 1 survived. So now I got interested in what exactly kind of fish it, because it looks similar to all kinds of native fish here, but not quite so. This is Bulgaria we are talking about. I'm not really knowledgeable about fish, but I thought it was some sort of a common roach. Now I started checking species and the thing it looks the most like is this little fucker
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigorobuna

    Can anyone tell me what else it might be? I find it hard to believe I found fish endemic Japanese fish in Bumfuck Nowhere, Bulgaria.

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is a pic of the fucker.

      • 6 months ago
        Anonymous

        That is a juvenile upside-down carp

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Can you tell me the exact type of carp?

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            No, I’m just fooling around… but don’t release fish

            • 6 months ago
              Anonymous

              Noted. I was told the same in the aquarium general.

  45. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    eat it

  46. 6 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's a very lovely fish in the OP pic, what are you so angry about?

    • 6 months ago
      Anonymous

      Who the fuck is angry?

  47. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    This shit up from October.. slow board ass damn bro what the fuck

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Hunt for Red October

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Five hunts for red october...

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Five hunts for red october...

        Wonder if any of that matters.

        • 6 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not to a flibber bobber

          • 6 months ago
            Anonymous

            Sounds like a fish.

  48. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    goldfish come in grey and are so cheap it's easier to buy one than go catch a wild carp. they also get too large to live in a 20 gallon tank.
    Nobody lied to you; This is nobody's fault but yours.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Then why didn't the other fish grow?

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm gonna ask one question.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        They can’t grow because they can’t drink milk

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          You've got to make them talk about themselves. A lot of people only want to talk about themselves.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Real reason is that many fish, particularly goldfish, excrete hormones that inhibit growth (ex. gamma-aminobutyric acid). In an environment like a lake or river, the water volume and natural filtration is such that this isn't an issue. In an aquarium, this GABA hormone gets concentrated. Generally the healthiest, biggest fish tends to stay ahead of the pack, e.g. one fish due to luck or genetics will grow slightly faster than the others at first, and that initial lead in growth will snowball into potentially a lifetime lead. Somatostatin is also another example where the biggest fish will excrete it specifically to inhibit the growth of rival fish. This is often seen in betta fry/juvenile growth.

        These hormones don't just stunt growth, but also inhibit immune, reproductive functions, and appetite so fish subject to this kind of concentrated GABA environment will be less healthy, potentially sterile, and unlikely to get optimal nutrition.

        The effects of this phenomenon on long term lifespan haven't been studied all that well, and it anecdotally seems highly variable. The vast majority of fish kept in these conditions just die within weeks if not days. Then there's bound to be some outlier that had a goldfish life for years, if not decades, and proclaim himself or herself to be a world's best aquarist. The latter group tends to forget about the dozens of fish that have died before he or she lucked out with a genetically strong specimen.

        • 4 months ago
          AppallingApustasa

          High quality post, thank you for your service Anon

  49. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    >

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Oh boy

  50. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    I have one word to say: Moist.

  51. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    What fucking horseshit.

  52. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    wait what the fuck, has this thread been reposted or is it the same one? coulda sworn it was gone for a while

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Same one, 64 days.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Holy shit, 64. Kind of like Mario 64 when you think about it.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      I was just thinking the same thing.
      RIP fish anyway

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why are you looking so closely at my Ball?

  53. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    The carnie didn't net a school of minnows when he rolled into town.
    He went to the local pet store/exotic fish/bait shop.
    Blame your local retailer for buying feeder goldfish by the pound at the cheapest cost. The breeder he git them from screwed you over.
    And it doesn't help that the same carnie will drop his leftovers in a ditch so he doesn't have to deal with them for 4 days until the next event.
    >t. Mom worked Calexpo when I was a kid.

  54. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cool.

  55. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    If you got a common goldfish, the same thing would've happened, numbnuts. Goldfish are also carp:
    >Native to East Asia, the goldfish is a relatively small member of the carp family (which also includes the Prussian carp and the crucian carp).
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldfish

    In decent conditions they'll grow to over a foot long. In indoor tanks they tend to grow to "only" about half a foot. Likewise they are known as shit machines and very destructive to any plants you may want to plant.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Then what kind of goldfish are you supposed to get?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Well, there are fancy goldfish that stay a smaller, but goldfish are not really meant for tanks at all. They're mostly pond fish. Platies are a good substitute if you just want an orange fish (although they do come in lots of other colors), you can have a nice little school of 6 or so in a 20 gallon, just add a heater because they're not cold water like goldfish.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Don't people generally keep like a single goldfish in a bowl? Is that normal to do or is that bad for the goldfish too?

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            goldfish in a bowl is basicly a cut flower in the vase

            it is able to live there a bit, but only last a fraction of it's 10-15 year or even longer lifespan

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              They can live FIFTEEN years? And here I had it in my head that fish were just short-lived animals. Apparently that's just a result of how they're treated.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                A lot of pet fishes don't live long, average lifespan between 2-5 years. Betta fish, small tetras, guppies, platies all around this expectancy.

                Some fish are long lived like the gold fish, oscar fish, discus fish, ancistrus, pleco, these live 10-20 years.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                I’ve had clownfish that pushed 20 years and an eel on her 18th year but not sure how old she actually is but I got her young

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Of all pets, you've had an eel for eighteen years? That's impressive. I'm curious what led to you getting an eel.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                If your goldfish dies at the age of 10 you can be absolutely sure that it died prematurely.

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                Koi can live over 200 years.

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                The fuck? How do people know that when people don't live for 200 years?

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                How do you know WW1 happened when there are no vets alive from that time?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                You can count the scale rings just like tree rings. The oldest koi lived to 226.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Carbon dating

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Why would you date carbon?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                to see approximately how old a living thing was

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >They can live FIFTEEN years? And here I had it in my head that fish were just short-lived animals
                They can make it to 40 in the right conditions. It's not that fish live a long time, it's more that mammals live a short time. Even birds live longer than mammals do. Mammals were eternally BTFO in regards to aging as soon as we started generating body heat (which birds somehow managed without getting fucked as hard).
                >5" reptile?
                >40 years
                >5" fish?
                >40 years
                >5" bird?
                >35 years
                >5" mammal?
                >4 YEARS, FUCK YOU!

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                never seen a fish do that

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                You've never seen it, but it's not impossible for a fish to do. I think a salmon could probably do it.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Sorry non mammal virgin, but bats prove you wrong

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                >15
                the oldest goldfish are 40-50 years old. 10-15ish is pretty normal for a fish kept in good conditions and not a shitty unfiltered bowl.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        None they suck

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Fancies get up to 6in and its recommended to keep them in huge indoor tanks. They don't get as big as single tail varieties but still get bigger than you might think.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ed?

  56. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    This thread makes even less sense than the stern one

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Stern people don't get places very fast.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        They do if they have fishsticks.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Are you sure about that? It makes perfect sense to me.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Everything makes sense to you.

  57. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Should I get a pet goldfish?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes

  58. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry but... cichlid master race!

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I think lake Victoria SUCKS

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        I think Coolsville ROCKS!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Jaguar Cichlid is top tier, broken even

  59. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Have you ever considered returning it to the lake it was pulled from?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I'll tell it to RETURN TO THE SEA! A SHARK IS ALL YOU'LL EVER BE!

  60. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >It lived for eight goddamn years
    That's not their full lifespan. What happened?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      He hated it. What do you think happened?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Fuckin' carnie!

  61. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Squid though

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Delicious.

  62. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    And I hate it. I can't stand the sight of it. Moving its gills.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Get in. What are you, a fag?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        but what if it buys your wee wee?? xD what if it thinks its a worm xD

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          You punch it still it spits out your duck, then you sew it back on

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          You punch it still it spits out your duck, then you sew it back on

          Fish don't have teeth, they are incapable of biting off your dick.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous
            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              Those are clearly Tom Cruise's teeth edited onto a fish.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                you don't know

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                Oh yeah? Real big into Tom's teeth are ya? Would know them anywhere, any time, any place, huh? A top authority on spotting celebrity teeth are we?

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                No just Tom Cruise's

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                They are very noticeably misaligned teeth. I don't know much about teeth but I could spot Tom Cruise's teeth from a mile away.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                https://i.imgur.com/EBXPSWH.png

                >

                What the actual fuck.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's called a drum, we find their teeth in Florida archaeological sites and it's a nightmare because they look so similar to human teeth that everyone gets all hyped up and then the fucking icthyologist has to come and ruin it with "its just fish teeth see the root blah blah blah"

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >It’s called a drum
                Not it’s not, the fish in that picture is a sheepshead (family Sparidae). Completely different family from drum (Scaenidae)
                Drum have different pharyngeal teeth (hidden back in the throat)

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                There’s a whole order of fish with teeth resembling ours, the tetraodontiformes. There exist many other lineages in percamorphes that have similar teeth.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous

            the beaks some of them have can destroy your dick easily

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              I'll destroy your dick with my mouth in a minute.

          • 4 months ago
            Anonymous
            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              I'D LOVE TO GET MY DICK IN THAT

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is that a Rainbow, Brook, or Trout?
        Me and my friend are having an argument

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          It's a sewer salmon.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            You're a sewer salmon.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM8moDafJOU

      The Poisson

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Poison*

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      The water should be boiling hot

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        YOU SHOULD BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          You should not forget the salt
          http://en.foodtravel.tv/recfoodShow_Detail.aspx?viewId=491

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Why is it cut up like that?

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              The air goes into the meat and enhances the flavor

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not sure that's a real thing.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                You're not a real thing

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Ah yes air, that Hispanicy additive we all love

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                They "aerate" things for a reason.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I aerate my balls because it's good for them. But aerating fish is bad for them because they breathe water.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              To cut the fishbones into smaller pieces. These fish have nasty Y shaped bones.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Not just cut those shitty y-bones into smaller pieces, but also get hot oil on them, so the calcium becomes brittle. After it's been deep fried, they bcome crunchy and you eat it bones and all.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Other than the piss that looks delicious.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              I would drink all the piss. And the yellow stuff in the image looks pretty good too.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s cute

  63. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    at least you didn’t clove oil it i guess?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      > clove oil it
      Does that kill fish?

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        Kills 'em good

        • 10 months ago
          Anonymous

          Clove oil would kill anything.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Clove oil would kill anything.

          What do you mean it would kill anything? What's the deal with clove oil?

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            Look it up.

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              I did; some mentions of eugenol liver toxicity and such but nothing relating to it "killing everything"

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                A few drops into a fish tank is like dropping a nuke.

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                Is there a reason to do it besides being a dick?

              • 7 months ago
                Anonymous

                I assume if you need to euthanize a suffering fish

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                Basically causes nerve damage as well. People put clove oil on chronic tooth pain which kills the nerve but also burns the area IIRC

              • 6 months ago
                Anonymous

                Dang. And people use that in food? Are they stupid?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                some people smoke 'em

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                No way.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Couple of cloves in a pot won't do much beside giving it some flavour and nice smell. You need more to make oil.
                If you are not eating spoons of it every day, its ok.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I work at a pet shop, we euthanize dying fish with clove oil. It acts as an aquatic sedative but to euthanize them you just od them on it. It breaks my heart but its painless and better for them than getting eaten alive while they die of swim bladder problems.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I make a pot of boling water and drop them in. Is that inhumane..!? Fuck l feel like shit now, all this time l thought that wasthe best painess way :_(

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        If you ever want to live on the complete fucking wild side use clove oil as aftershave. Your balls will quadruple in size and youll grow enough ass hair to knit an asswool sweater out of.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Really?

  64. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Did you eat it?

  65. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    Talk to me about Prussian carp.

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

      There is a all female clonal strain of Prussian carps. It reproduces by stealing other fishes sperm for fertilisation, but doesn't take up the DNA. This lineage is currently invasive in much of Europe.

      • 10 months ago
        Anonymous

        >It reproduces by stealing other fishes sperm for fertilisation, but doesn't take up the DNA.
        A literal succubus of the freshwater world, absolutely abhorrent.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          Doesn't that also mean it's really good at having sex, though?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            What do you even know about sex, fatass?

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              MORE THAN YOU

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's good at tricking crucian carp and common carp into having sex with it.

            • 4 months ago
              Anonymous

              stop talking carp

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >reproduces by stealing other fishes sperm for fertilisation, but doesn't take up the DNA.

        How is that possible

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          Very carefully.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            You know what's great to do is when someone says something stupid just say "...". It unsettles them greatly.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          The sperm activates the egg and it starts dividing, but only the prussian carp genome multiplies while the sperm is degraded

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            That's just asexual reproduction with extra steps.

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              YOU'RE asexual.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Source?

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              Personal experience.

              • 9 months ago
                Anonymous

                Oh no

              • 9 months ago
                Anonymous

                OH NYO

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            the yucatan molly does something similar

  66. 10 months ago
    Anonymous

    RIP ?

    • 10 months ago
      Anonymous

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