I am an ape expert. Ask me anything about apes and I will answer. Posted on January 16, 2023 by Anonymous I am an ape expert. Ask me anything about apes and I will answer.
Are there any apes that are worse at smelling than humans? Do humans generally have better vision than apes, or are we just worse at senses in general?
Humans went "good enough" on the info gathering to make more room for the info analysis.
Gorillas and other apes have very small penises and birth canals due to the lack of large infant cranial development. Humans uniquely have a large penis in proportion to their size. My question is, can a female ape take the average penis of a human male (5.2in, 4.5in circumference), and if so, what species of ape?
First, not the ape expert.
Second, I doubt even the largest human peen is comparable to an infant ape skull. So I would imagine it's possible, but there would likely be a lot of discomfort.
Why is mimicry called "aping" something, but the common phrase is "monkey see, monkey do"?
Do apes ever grow vestigial tails or are we the only gimped species that does that
Can different breed monkeys procreate like dogs
Can you tell us your favorite ape story?
pongo play the bongo?
Some individuals on the internet claim that chimpanzees are terrifying creatures with the ability to rip your arms off while they shit down your throat.
Considering they're smaller than the average human and serious injuries caused by them tend to involve women and the elderly, I'm inclined to think that though they're potentially dangerous, a human being absolutely can beat a chimp in a fight.
What do you think?
>Some individuals on the internet claim that chimpanzees are terrifying creatures ...
Why orangutan so freakishly strong and why do they have huge fangs if they live on a mostly vegetarian diet?
How do we return to monke
>masturbate in front of everyone at the zoo
>throw shit as a goof
>ooo ooo aa aa
Why haven’t we tried to introduce great apes into other ecosystems to help preserve their species?
>But muh effect on my the environment
>But muh proper habitat
I care about my fellow great apes than any gay rodents or stupid songbird that is only native a poopoo peepee region
We should be letting them live in the islands off the East coast. South Carolina already has monkey island, lets give it pongo island
>Gets their eye sockets punctuated as soon they got introduced.
>Gets their eye sockets punctuated as soon they got introduced.
Are black people apes??
No, apes are innocent.
What is the difference between your average orangutan and your average American?
Orangutans are the coolest and most peaceful creatures in the world.
Legend has it that orangutans could speak but choose not to.
Anon is an apeist
Apes are the primary food sources of modern day predators, ecosystems with apes have higher predator biodiversity than ecosystems with just ungulate. Apes also have the reproductive success as most rodents.
Why hasn’t humanity tried to domesticate apes for meat production? Apes are far more efficient than chicken or pigs when it comes to infinite meat production.
Voreaphile schizo spitting straight lies again
Get eaten by a pitbull nerd
What is the most advanced tool an ape can use or pass on to another ape? Can they use spears?
does hellofresh use monky labor for coconut milk
should we eradicate the sumatran and bornean insects to preserve them?
it seems like a worthwhile trade. more ape, less bug.
Why do they commit so many crimes?
purely socio-economic reasons
Orang's are the biggest pedophiles. The things they do to little girls when they catch them. No prison time because they "don't know any better" - surrrre.
>Orang's are the biggest pedophiles.
Can Orange Man and Lanky Man be friends in wilderness?
yes they live in the same area and they don't harm each other unless the gibbon tries to steal shit
what kind of ape makes the best pet?
I work 10 hours a day btw
Oo oo oo ah ah?
How the fuck can humans and apes have an ancestor in common when they have extra chromosomes? How the fuck does that happen? Is there any evidence of shit like this happening elsewhere in nature?
Yeah you've got a couple of extra chromosomes yourself
>Humans have 46 chromosomes, whereas chimpanzee, gorilla, and orangutan have 48. This major karyotypic difference was caused by the fusion of two ancestral chromosomes to form human chromosome 2 and subsequent inactivation of one of the two original centromeres
is there proof?
There is zero evidence that is what happened or if it's even possible in the first place
Fusing and splitting chromosomes isn't uncommon, its a big driver of speciation.
A puma has 38 and an ocelot has 36, yet they can still interbreed and very clearly have a common ancestor. A puma is closer to an ocelot than it is to a lion, which also has 38 chromosomes. Chromosome count isn’t the be all end all
>Chimp sperm injected in a human vagina.
>Every attempt for a humanzee offspring has failed
As you see anon, apes are so genetically different from humans that we can’t interbreed. We could only interbreed with other now extinct species within the homo genus.
>Why humans are so freakishly weak physically and why do they have blunt teeth if they are able to live on a partly carnivorous diet?
Because of evolutionary adaptations that either help them survive or kept ancient traits that aren’t selected against. Which make respective species flexible when it comes to diet.
Humans have tool use and complex social structures living entirely in diverse open environments or edges of forests, while orangutans are completely
arboreal and specializes on a diet of vegetation found in its environment. The fangs are just for showcase.
the only attempts i've ever heard of for "humanzees" are some shit from the soviet union, and you can't believe a damn thing that slavs says about shit like this because they lie pathologically.
i don't believe there has ever been a legitimate attempt for it.
why is orangutan skin bumpy like an orange
>why is orangutan skin bumpy like an orange
it's obvious, silly
what are your thoughts on the Orange People?
do apes have a concept of time? could I condition an ape to do something everyday at approximately 9:00am unprompted without me being present?
This sounds like the plot of an episode of Monk.
quick rundown? I haven't seen the show but I know it's about a goofy British guy
no, you're thinking about Mr. Bean
Have you tried being good at the game?
They have a concept of time, but they can't read time. They'd have a pretty vague idea of when they were supposed to do something, but their accuracy would vary pretty wildly from day to day
>Have you tried being good at the game?
Therein lies your issue my son. Become the apist
They are my favorite ape hands down. Big goofballs
Which is which????
How do I beat the second level in Ape Escape?