How threatening would giant cow sized spiders be to a Human being?

How threatening would giant cow sized spiders be to a Human being?

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I kind of like the idea of social spidets like Anelosimus evolving to circa goliath beetle size. Building underground nests covering a square kilometre, populated by a hundred thousand spiders.
    Above ground are silk traps. Any careless visitor stumbling over one suddenly finds their legs trapped by sticky silk lines. And suddenly the undergrowth is bustling. Spiders the size of a small rat come up from their underground tunnels, swarming the body. One, ten, a hundred. Injecting enzymes to dissolve and slurp up the still living body.
    Soon, only clothes are left of the unsuspecting visitor.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine the speed

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    It would definitely suck, that's for sure.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Not threatening at all. Exoskeletons don't work at scale.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah, it would kill everything but insects can’t get that big because they absorb oxygen through their exoskeleton and there is not enough oxygen in the current atmosphere.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >thread start: would a cow-sized spider be dangerous
    >thread end: would a cow-sized spider be delicious
    Huh, I guess this is why we're the apex predators

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >BTFOs your giant spider

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Fire and really any kind of chemical spray would also BTFO any giant insect.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Aren't tarantulas the most fragile?
    I would imagine throwing rocks at it would easily kill a giant one.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    very dangerous, giant alien spiders are no joke.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >mfw mantiscels got too cocky

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      FUCK you got me

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    As a resident Wauf spiderfag that would be absolutely fucking terrifying.. cow sized they could eat elephants and hippos and shit no problem.

    Trying to exterminate them would be an absolute nightmare too. They have evolved to be elusive as fuck. The fact that there is probably a dozen spiders or more in the same room with you right now is testimony of that.

    Square cube ftw

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >The fact that there is probably a dozen spiders or more in the same room with you right now
      Fuck OFF

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I know where some of them are in my room. I'm glad they are here, they're my precious allies against insects.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >collapses under its own weight and suffocates
    not very

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Elaborate.

      nah no way, imagine how thick the exoskeleton would be at cow size. .22lr would just lodge itself into the exoskeleton.

      So 10mm/357 magnum or would you need a rifle cartridge?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I figure proper shot placement would be kinda hard on something as fast as a giant spider, but .357 or 10mm would probably be fine. I would be more concerned with being able to get rapid follow up shots or not getting blitzed by the thing.
        The exoskeleton is just chitin, right? And if you puncture it, all the hydraulic fluid drains out.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >So 10mm/357 magnum or would you need a rifle cartridge
        Honestly no idea, you can't just scale up the exoskeleton strength from a normal spider to a cow sized spider because it breaks some laws of nature. Like the other anon said weight is a huge factor since it has a exoskeleton. When I said it would be like a jumping spider that was just answering the hypotheticals and ignoring the actualities of it. If this actually existed it would be slow as fuck like a tortoise or coconut crab, but it can't exist. There's a reason why the largest exoskeletons exist underwater and not on land, the weight of this thing makes it impossible. Although pic related did exist you can see it's actual volume to surface area is drastically different to a spider, mainly it has a huge weight distribution. 8 exoskeleton spider legs are going to be under enormous strain to hold up a cow sized spider's body, even more so because spider legs are segmented and the weight doesn't actually go down on the legs, but is instead suspended. The amount of tension on the upper joints would rip itself up apart.

        So if you did the math to scale up how strong and thick a cow sized exoskeleton would be, it would immediately be wrong because a cow sized exoskeleton couldn't be made up the same material as a actual spider. It has to be something drastically stronger or thicker. Square cube law also exists. You have to ignore some law of nature to make this spider exist so I dunno what cartridge you need to kill this thing.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/mD3hUuJ.png

        >So 10mm/357 magnum or would you need a rifle cartridge
        Honestly no idea, you can't just scale up the exoskeleton strength from a normal spider to a cow sized spider because it breaks some laws of nature. Like the other anon said weight is a huge factor since it has a exoskeleton. When I said it would be like a jumping spider that was just answering the hypotheticals and ignoring the actualities of it. If this actually existed it would be slow as fuck like a tortoise or coconut crab, but it can't exist. There's a reason why the largest exoskeletons exist underwater and not on land, the weight of this thing makes it impossible. Although pic related did exist you can see it's actual volume to surface area is drastically different to a spider, mainly it has a huge weight distribution. 8 exoskeleton spider legs are going to be under enormous strain to hold up a cow sized spider's body, even more so because spider legs are segmented and the weight doesn't actually go down on the legs, but is instead suspended. The amount of tension on the upper joints would rip itself up apart.

        So if you did the math to scale up how strong and thick a cow sized exoskeleton would be, it would immediately be wrong because a cow sized exoskeleton couldn't be made up the same material as a actual spider. It has to be something drastically stronger or thicker. Square cube law also exists. You have to ignore some law of nature to make this spider exist so I dunno what cartridge you need to kill this thing.

        I forgot to include this thing would immediately just suffocate and die from necrosis. It doesn't have the correct organs to neither gain or transport oxygen inside itself at cow size distances/quantities.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Our air doesn't have enough oxygen to support giant bugs, they wouldn't even be born

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Elaborate
        Square cube law isn't kind to insect body layouts and design. Their whole respiratory system would have to be reworked to operate like a vertebrate, and the physics which let them crawl around upside down on 6/8 legs no longer works in the 1kg+ league. So basically, their whole body plan is retarded at such a scale. The extra limbs just becomes more weight to have to move around, and since it's hard to gallop on them all, they'd be fairly speed limited. They might still remain competitive though, since spiders are trapping predators and their threads won't be any less strong when scaled up. In fact, they'd be domesticated practically instantly and made to produce endless ultralight steel strength cables. Cow is a really apt comparison.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I imagine at that scale they would have lots of tasty meat as well. Giant land crab! I would love to eat a cow sized crab, imagine a steak of crab meat!

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            aren't they all goo inside? or is there meat in the big tarantula butt?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Crab also looks like goo raw. Small spiders use blood pressure to move the legs but bigger ones use muscles as well. The torax is also full of white meat.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                spiders are friends, not food

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                All spiders use both hydraulics and muscles. They all use hydraulics to extend their legs and muscles to retract them.
                That is why spiders have legs that are a lot stronger than an equivalent insect. There is more room for flexor muscles because they don't need extensors.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          https://i.imgur.com/SeTjBBI.jpg

          [...]
          I forgot to include this thing would immediately just suffocate and die from necrosis. It doesn't have the correct organs to neither gain or transport oxygen inside itself at cow size distances/quantities.

          Is it possible the sphincter/rectum of the spider could evolve to help suck air through the thing at a greater rate like some kind of biological jet turbine?

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            animals cant do that now, do you think you just breathe with just your face, your entire chest cavity is a bellows

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >hurr durr
      I know you think you're being clever and profound here but the whole premise of the scenario is what would happen if it WAS possible, idiot.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Huh?

        The premise is a cow sized spider. I accept that it did evolve in the first place, that's the actual impossible part. What, exactly, are you trying to say? "What if it was a cow sized spider but the exoskeleton is just different enough for it to be a viable threat?" Well then it's a fucking viable threat, obviously. I think it's just a stupid question and you're just a stupid person.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          NO FUN!!!

          Look, spiders are all kinds of terrifying as it is when they're small, and so giant spiders have always captured people's imagination.
          Seems like they'd be very sedantary creatures, conserving as much energy as possible, to reduce wear and tear. So basically land aligators.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >don't call me out I just want to shit up the thread
          KYS moron

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    At that size it would be at the top of the food chain and eat decently sized mammals. Definitely apex predator. If this cow sized spider still hunted with webs a human could probably avoid the webs rather easily and I don't think it would too dangerous to humans because their sedentary hunting style. But if this spider gained the sense to stalk and ambush its prey like other apex predators it could easily be the most dangerous animal alive. A cow sized jumping spider would mog humans, we'd probably see spiders ambushing humans the same way tigers still ambush humans.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Any Waufommandos want to tell us what size cartridge would be needed to take down a cow sized spider?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        .22lr
        It'll bounce around inside its exoskeleton and liquefy it from inside.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          nah no way, imagine how thick the exoskeleton would be at cow size. .22lr would just lodge itself into the exoskeleton.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Problem is haemolymph doesn't clot. Amy crack in a cow sized spider's exoskeleton will eventually prove fatal.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          lost

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Whatever these are (presumably 5.56 with space age materials for super armor peircing tips on the cheap) would be your absolute minimim.
        Jokes aside, given they have limbs ALL around their thoracic cavity, your first hit may dump it's kinetic energy into the limb, blast out the other side, and keyhole against the thorax for little damage.
        This is why the hornady critical duty does so much more barrier penetration than critical defense as some in Law Enforcement considered the arm of a perp tanking most of the bullet's fury a serious concern.
        Okay, so for what's off the shelf modern day? We want a semiauto because you WILL freak out when you see a GIANT! SPIDER! And miss your first shot. Double barrelled elephant guns exist, and could do some serious work.
        IIRC, a spider that big's exoskeleton would have to be orders of magnatude thicker to accomodate all that weight, and so flamethrowers are right out as it would take time for the heat to destroy it's vital organs, and in the meantime, you have a very angry apex predator with nothing to loose that can crush a 16 wheeler or some shit between it's legs tearing ass toward you covered in flaming napalm.
        "Battle rifles" of all kinds would be excellent. Pick your favourate and git good with it. If Wauf ain't bullshitting a G3 can give a giant sloth pause, but the right AR 10 will eat that recoil up better.
        For the shotgun enjoyer A benelli M4 with monolythic magnum rifled slugs would be ideal, but the pump gun with same slugs would at least take a limb off.
        Taking a P90 into the woods instead of bear spray, again, wouldn't be ideal, but the "swarm of bees" approach certainly has merit.
        Finally, for you handgun enthusiasts shit like this is why fuckoff sized revolvers are made.
        No joke, if you have a working m1 garand or the russian analouge (can't remember name off top of head), that might be a very cost effective option.
        Whatever you pack, reject hollowpoint, embrace MAXIMUM PENETRATION!!!

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      A cow sized spider would get mogged by mammalian predators, though. Even if you give them physically impossible reflexes and strength for their size a tiger would have better hearing and a way larger brain than them. Being the apex arthropod predator is easy when your prey is other spiders, but any herbivore mammal would see a giant spider coming from miles away.
      Humans would just run circles around them, although I have to admit I'd certainly want to visit the cowspider exhibit in a zoo.

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