>faster than any man. >solid boulder of muscle

>faster than any man
>solid boulder of muscle
>unhuntable meat tanks, no claws or teeth can get through their natural armor
>seriously, they can just walk through an attack by a pride of lions
>catch 500 human bodies a year, the ultimate apex predator of the world can't do shit
>their babies use crocodiles as chew toys
>brutally kill anything that even mildly annoys them
>only elephants and rhinos can even hope to challenge them
>do it all while a herbivore, making carnicucks seethe
Every day I'm in awe of these fricking MONSTERS
If a hippo charged at me I'd probably just fricking kneel

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >builds a dam upriver

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hippo footage always just makes me think of how fricking horrifying Hell pigs must have been

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If hellpigs still existed they'd be a delicacy in China and I'm not gonna lie I'd try it with some hoisin sauce or something.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Did they behave the same way as regular boars? Regardless hippos seem bigger so they’re still probably worse

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There's no way to know that, they have been dead for millions of years

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >There's no way to know that, they have been dead for millions of years
          but the healing toothmarks on their skulls consistent with another entelodont biting them tells us they were aggressive as frick.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hell pigs were actually more closely related to hippos, as ironic as that sounds.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Rhino is a good counter for hippo confirmed.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The power rankings are elephants

        [...]

        >hippos>every other animal on land

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Uh hippobros... Our response?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      God that is disgusting, there's carcasses in there.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why is there a random dead hippo in the middle?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He didn't listen to the warning proots

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He took the vax.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Unhuntable
    You know if humans wanted to they could make hippos go extinct in a month.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hippos are the cutest aminal

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >if this hippo felt like it it could close its mouth and it would be lights out for him
      nerve wracking

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    HIPPOS BE RAYCIST AN SHIET

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Hippos are african, it's black on black violence

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >jaws remake only with angry hippo
      kino

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Very scary how fast they can swim, i though that little wake was it but was a few feet ahead actually

      https://i.imgur.com/AFMiZmb.jpeg

      HIPPOS BE RAYCIST AN SHIET

      That’s why we love them 🙂

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Very scary how fast they can swim
        they cannot swim at all. they run on the bottom of the water and jump up to the surface to take air. hippos drown in deep enough water.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    *brutally kills u*

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      what an athlete

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    they're also cute

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They are.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If they lived in a European or central Asian country they would have been hunted to extinction.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Yo dawg you got any more of that hippopottapussy dust?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Correct. Hippos struck gold being able to develop alongside the people of sub-Saharan Africa of all populations

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Correct. Hippos struck gold being able to develop alongside the people of sub-Saharan Africa of all populations

      Hippos used to live in Europe, including the very species of hippo found across Africa. Europeans don't deserve hippos and their beauty, they'd probably rape one.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The difference between Africans is Europeans is only Europeans would have the capacity to rape a hippo.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Now Africans can be raped by them instead. Everyone wins 🙂

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >hippos
        >beautiful

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Strength is beautiful

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        NTA but that anon is correct. Part of the reason that most megafauna are extinct except for African ones is that the African megafauna evolved alongside humans, so they know what to expect from us and how to survive us. megafauna that were living outside of Africa were basically living their lives happily until a bunch of psychotic murderhobos that they aren't adapted to and don't know anything about showed up and started killing them.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          such is the way of life…

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >only elephants and rhinos can even hope to challenge them
    Maybe it's a close fight for rhinos but hippos pose as much threat to an elephant as any other land mammal.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >it's a close fight for animals that elephants murder for fun but not for elephants themselves

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, they don’t, elephants casually bully both rhinos and hippos whenever they feel like it lol

      There's no way to know that, they have been dead for millions of years

      I’m sure there could be some kind of genetic funkery that could reveal it but we just don’t have it yet

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    based

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wtf I wish I could do that

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Japs learnt to do that as well, convergent evolution

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Stop posting this

      Japs learnt to do that as well, convergent evolution

      I don’t think that’s true

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Gonna have to give you a smack on the bum if you don't quit it with that egotistical shtick mate.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Test

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    than any man
    How fast do they run?

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >do it all while a herbivore, making carnicucks seethe
    They're rather omnivorous, hippos eat carrion and sometimes live animals, definitely more so than rhinos or elephants do.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >t. seething carnicuck

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What can a hippo actually do though? If you hug its hind legs it can't reach you with its mouth, and its too sluggish to get away while you repeatedly pommel it from behind. If you stand to the side of its hind legs then it won't even be able to hit you with a back kick. If it raises its leg to perform a stomp then all you have to do is back off until it finishes its slam, then move back in to continue punching.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What would your punches do? Even if your silly Dark Souls strategy worked, you'd just gas yourself out and piss the colossal killing machine off even more
      and besides, they're not nearly as sluggish as you think

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >yeah dude just arm-lasso the hippos legs and then slap it with your third hand until it dies

        Lurk moar

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Somehow everytime this copypasta is posted there's a shitton of newbies falling for it

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I blame reddit

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Funny how it tries to walk away calmly like it didn't do anything

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        HerbivoreCHADS we are undefeated

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >yeah dude just arm-lasso the hippos legs and then slap it with your third hand until it dies

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Heh, I got into your blindspot. Time to go all out, HIYAAAH!!!
      >0 dmg 0 dmg 0 dmg

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >continues attacking the car while completely ignoring the lions trying to eat it
        Absolutely hellacious creatures

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        To be fair, that's one of the girl lions, so her jaws are more evolved for sucking male lion dick than hunting.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      bury you in poop

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Accurate, I kill one or two a year this way. There are lots of other ways to take one down pretty easy, for example, you can throw a small bicycle into their mouth when they open it up all the way, then wait for them to die of peritonitis. They're not actually that hard to beat.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >and its too sluggish to get away
      >hug its hind legs
      That would be akin to a toddler holding onto your legs. Do you think you would be immobilized? Well you would. Actual men could just walk as if the toddler wasn't there.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >19 mph
        I thought they were much faster than that, 19 mph isn't much faster than a fit human can run. Pic related

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Did it not hit them? Or was it too small to do anything? Looks like it collided with them head on

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I thought it just tried to chomp them from behind as they zoomed away.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lurk moar

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