What's a good apartment pet?
I got very... specific requirements. From most to least important
>can survive 2-3 days without being fed
>but needs to be fed after 3-4 days at most
>doesn't make noise that would make the neighbors complain
>can live out on the balcony, even in winter
>doesn't stink
>doesn't die easily
>does something useful
What's the difference between an apartment pet and a house pet
>winter balcony
You must be trolling, maybe try it yourself?
Not everyone has cold winters
>plot twist: the kid on the left is actually abusing the dog on the right
True, here in Australia it gets hot
Medaka Rice Fish.
As long as the container does not completely freeze they will survive. How much room do you have to work with? A medium to large planter with no drainage holes would work, I use a 17gallon muck bucket. They max out at about 1 1/2 inches. When kept outside the water will attract food on it's own so you wont have to feed every day, but every other day would be fine. Even less so in winter due to their metabolism slowing down.
They are small fish, they make very very little splashing noises while eating. As for the smell, having live plants in there will help but water changes would be needed atleast once in a while.
luv medaka box
This thread gave me a brilliant business idea.
>plastic. pets.
Like they have plastic food in Japan, but for pets.
Just get an automatic feeder and water dispenser for a cat.
Also have a second litterbox for when you're out of town.
>the israelite fears the apartment balcony bee keeper
>ticks all except for the neighbor complain one.
Your neighbors just open their windows for some fresh air and now there's dozens of bee invading their lot.
i have not kept bees myself but want to get a starter hive soon.
imo, one of the coolest animals ever
tortoise
>sometimes goes a week or two without eating
>can throw lettuce in the tank whenever
>doesnt make any noise
>throw a bunch of mulch for it to burrow in and some heat pads down if you have to have it outside
>doesnt stink
>live forever
>eats fruits and veggies so you can look like you arent a fat fuck when you go to the store or have people over
I had a tortoise once, when I was a little girl. My dog ate it somehow.
>eats fruits and veggies so you can look like you arent a fat fuck when you go to the store or have people over
Upside of having buns as well, lol. I've always wanted a tortoise.
Also they fight villains and ear pizza
>tfw my tortoise will live 3x as long as I will
Get a rabbit. Long as they have timothy hay they'll be fine. They're quiet, their dookie smells like grass and is easy to clean. As far as usefulness, if you get a male unneutered rabbit and trim its nails, it will give you fun little head massages/scratches which have the added benefit of encouraging you to wash your hair (although depending on your lifestyle, having a little rabbit cum in your hair may be a drop of water in an ocean)
>(although depending on your lifestyle, having a little rabbit cum in your hair may be a drop of water in an ocean)
my sides
Something that can replace itself
get some cherry shrimp and some plants and moss
Buy a fucking cactus ffs
Having read your requirements and replies I'd recommend befriending something that is essentially wild and lives outside, but can be interacted with. Befriending a corvid could be a satisfying experience.
How did they teach the cat to walk like that
Why did he do it?
Because he could.
Guinea pigs. Note the plural! Can be abandoned for a few days with reliable food and water. Reasonably hardy in the cold and especially with a heated shelter.
A poisonous frog, lick it chud
What's a huis and why do boys hunt insects in it
I don't know if anyone has said this, Australian tree frogs. They meet your requirements, they're awesome, they live a long time, there's some drawbacks but I have 2 and 2 other frogs and I frequently leave them 2-3 days 🙂
Snake. Ball Python is an ideal starter. They eat once a week at most.
nothing fits these requirements
Which animals other than cats can you actually let roam around your huis and eat insects?
A basedboy
What makes a boy based?
It roams around your huis and eats insects
A tarantula
Letting a tarantula run around your apartment is asking for trouble.
How so exactly? it can't do anything to you
I'm pretty sure that tarantula venom can actually cause allergic reactions and even death, especially in children, and more commonly the tarantula hairs are even more allergy reaction prone.
A tarantula ticks all of them except for surviving in a balcony
>tfw the landlord doesn't know about my chilled 1500 gallon goldfish tub pond in my spare room
I sometimes put my feet in during the summer and let them nibble my toes
>in before he walks in and eats it when raiding your fridge
my house my rules bub
>the israelite fears the indoor urban goldfish farmer
get a big fucking spider
spider is the best option imo except for the winter part
>can survive 2-3 days without being fed
>but needs to be fed after 3-4 days at most
the majority of spiders, not just the big ones, don’t need to be fed daily. they can survive way more than 3 days without food, some survive like 2 weeks
>doesn’t make noise that would make the neighbors complain
they are dead fucking silent
>can live out on the balcony
not just the balcony. anywhere that is sufficient will be used, in the same was as “if i fits, i sits”
spiders can’t survive in winter for long though, they might want to get inside
>doesn’t stink
yes
>doesn’t die easily
can go without eating for >1 week
can fucking take down grasshoppers and big ass beetles
extremely low maitenance, all it needs is some bugs it can eat and anything except cold and that’s it
>does something useful
eats the absolute hell out of anything you don’t want
mosquitoes, gnats, ants, flies, maybe some invasive beetles or locusts, maybe even other spiders
some such as golden orb weavers will fucking chow down on snakes
Is it possible to find out if you're allergic to their venom before they bite you
>spider is the best option imo except for the winter part
Yeah the winter part is kinda difficult. The local retailer says that the spiders can only handle 20-22 degrees Celsius at worst during the night, and they also need >60%+ humidity.
Tarantulas can kill.
And that's a good thing.
This is a very cute picture, I wish too I could have as much fun watching good for nothing non-pets like shrimp.
Osaka is retarded
>good for nothing
They are tasty tho
The kind of shrimp that can be raised without ridiculous maintenance on a balcony aren't the type that will be good for eating.
don't those things die fast
Yes but they also reproduce fast.
Mantis shrimp pet.
do they taste good?
A small reptile of some sort seems like it matches all of those checkpoints.
cockroach
bedbug
silverfish
termite
Already have 2/4
>silverfish
What's your problem man
>Apartment Pests
Sorry I misread
Small parrots, provided your landlords aren't Jannies and can handle a bit of whistling.
Paper wasp colony.
Can gather food on its own, but you can also feed them sugar water every 3-4 days to pep them up. No noise complaints (no guarantees about other types of complaints however), no problems overwintering, doesn't smell, individual wasps can die but the colony itself is tough, does something useful by pollinating plants, will hopefully sting your retarded ass into an anaphylactic coma for thinking that pets are toys you can buy on a whim and neglect.
>Paper wasp colony.
Damn, sounds based. But I don't think they thrive in a urban setting. No plants to pollinate here just concrete.
nagger WHY? These things are so aggressive, will probably get into your house, and are guaranteed to sting + bite you and your neighbors. Its a great way to get evicted as well.
Read between the line my autistic dude. She was being sarcastic, like the smart girl she is.
Dangerously based
t. WASP
and also free honey
>and also free honey
Pretty sure they only make shampoo.
Is this for real? Shampoo is made by waspssss?
She's making a Beavis & Butt-head joke.
get the kind of wasps that eat spiders and charge people to have you release a swarm of hungry wasps into their homes to eat all the spiders
>t. Tetsua Crump
this but minks vs rats and other vermin
?si=zhLH2EzXCt9LnRO8
cute practically unstoppable killing machines and people actually pay for mink services (i doubt anyone would pay you to release wasps at their home)
I'm assembling a team...
>some goats
>a barn cat
>a colony of paper wasps
>the minks
who am I missing?
What goaty gon do?
eat invasive plants, and everything else
satanic things
>>can survive 2-3 days without being fed
>>but needs to be fed after 3-4 days at most
le funny troll post
What's the problem?
>I want a pet that doesn't have to be fed every day, but it has to be fed at least once every three days.
I'm fine feeding it every day, I just don't want to have to get someone to look after it and feed it whenever I have to go see my parents (and I want to have an excuse to not be at my parents' house for more than 2 days, "oh sorry I have to go feed me chonger"). So far I like the carnivorous plant idea the most, I just finished reading a book on friendship with plants this spring.
Where's the torture? I don't eat every day either and I'm perfectly fine. I don't even think about it but since I eat only once a day (and have 22-28 hour cooldowns in between, usually 24), it basically means I eat every second day.
you do/should not need/have pets. pick another hobby like "computers" or Internet
>pick another hobby like "computers" or Internet
I already have those. I was told that having a pet is a good way to mitigate sociopathy. Maybe I should get a Japanese peace lily first, then a carnivorous plant and then I'll be ready for a goldfish.
Trust me, you don't want a goldfish.
Their care needs are like 60x what a normal person thinks they are. Getting one is like getting a husky puppy and thinking you can keep it in a hamster cage for life.
>Their care needs are like 60x what a normal person thinks they are.
So goldfishes being an easy pet is just a forced meme? What is a highly resistant and robust pet fish then? I heard Koi are good but they need huge amounts of water and they eat their own children when hungry.
Goldfish are essentially pigs with fins, they're very hardy and can take care of themselves but also eat and shit all day. This means they need a large enclosure, skip out on that and you'll have a dead fish and a disgusting septic tank to clean. This is the fate of all these bowl goldfish sold to clueless parents looking for an easy pet for their kids, they can survive for a while because goldfish are made of iron but only live for a few months while a healthy adult goldfish is the size of your head and can push 20 years.
If you want to keep a goldfish with no hassle, you're looking at 100 liters or so of water (could be an aquarium or a tub, doesn't matter), and a couple of powerful filters to keep up with the shitnado. They can be kept outside and have no problems with winter as long as some water remains liquid. Bettas are the standard entry-level fish but require a heater and won't survive winter outdoors. Smaller coldwater fish like ricefish would be ideal if you're looking to keep an outdoor pet.
you need therapy, not a live-in victim
Many such cases.
>you need therapy, not a live-in victim
/thread
>don't even think about it but since I eat only once a day (and have 22-28 hour cooldowns in between, usually 24),
Bullshit. I feel like I'm dying after 8h of no food.
Same. I tried keto once and that was bad enough
Keto is not fasting. Regardless, both diets tend to be pretty fucking stupid, and combining them is extra strength retard.
OP is obviously an autistic psycho but you're a fucking fatass.
you are overweight
I'm only 205 lbs, that's slightly above average here in America
Damn you a skeleton
its not that hard. I used to 72hr fast regularly. I still do it a few times a year, I just stopped caring about being very thin.
fat.
>I want to have an excuse to not be at my parents' house for more than 2 days, "oh sorry I have to go feed me chonger"
>I just finished reading a book on friendship with plants this spring.
>I don't eat every day [...] I eat every second day.
Yep, you're a psychopath alright.
Not her/him, but the plant part is obviously a reference to the Megumin girl with big breasts from anime.
who
why do you want to torture your pet so bad
Just buy some carnivorous plant.
>easy to care for
>fun to feed
>catches annoying insects
Do they kill skeeters too?
They can kill them but are not really effective at luring them in the traps. They work best against flies and wasps.
Some sort of winter rat. Guniea Pigs maybe
Certainly not, I've had a guinea pig before. My dad left it out on the balcony for several hours during one summer and when he returned from work it died of overheating.
What temperature
50
If your balcony can handle the weight of a container the size of a kiddie pool and you take measures to keep the water from freezing solid, rosy minnows (Pimephales promelas) meet your requirements. Can easily keep them in a smaller container, but those are more difficult to keep thawed during winter.
The useful thing they do, in a container that is as big as I described, is prewash dirty food utensils that have hard to reach bits stuck to them, like whisks or between the tines of a fork. An actual pond with them can clean up dirty dishes nicely, but you risk fouling up the water too much with the limited space you have. The fish also be used as fishing bait, eaten, or you can use their water as mild fertilizer for your houseplants.
Get a cat (it won't live on the balcony or be too useful but it will kill bugs and mice)
Or quails (can live on the balcony and lay eggs but might be higher maintenance)
>cat
>quail
solid. also rabbit
ive heard that quail are superior to chickens for the pet to food pipeline, as in chickens make better eggs and meat, but only if you specifically raise them to be eaten. Whereas quails will produce good eggs and still be good eating when they die of natural causes
im no expert. just learning stuff as i go, but ya, quail start laying eggs at 6-8 weeks old while chickens might take 6 months to start laying. quail live shorter lives, smaller meat and eggs, but mature much faster and are much quieter. quail also have smaller beaks so need small crumble food
quails are very small birds, dealing with gutting 6 of them for a meal for 3 seems like a hassle
yeah but I can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken by myself. If I was a solo quail farmer wouldn't 1-2 + sides/rice make a meal?
>can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken by myself
maybe you can't
that's what I said fatass.
>yeah but I can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken by myself.
You some kind of manlet? I could easily eat two. Never tried but I regularly eat three pizzas for lunch, all by myself, takes only 4 hours. And I'm not even fat.
Quail are ridiculously easy to slaughter compared to chickens. In the time it takes for 1 person to entirely process 1 chicken (from slaughter to bagging) they could easily have processed 5 quail.