Apartment Pets

What's a good apartment pet?

I got very... specific requirements. From most to least important
>can survive 2-3 days without being fed
>but needs to be fed after 3-4 days at most
>doesn't make noise that would make the neighbors complain
>can live out on the balcony, even in winter
>doesn't stink
>doesn't die easily
>does something useful

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  1. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    What's the difference between an apartment pet and a house pet

  2. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    >winter balcony
    You must be trolling, maybe try it yourself?

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not everyone has cold winters

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          >plot twist: the kid on the left is actually abusing the dog on the right

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        True, here in Australia it gets hot

  3. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    Medaka Rice Fish.
    As long as the container does not completely freeze they will survive. How much room do you have to work with? A medium to large planter with no drainage holes would work, I use a 17gallon muck bucket. They max out at about 1 1/2 inches. When kept outside the water will attract food on it's own so you wont have to feed every day, but every other day would be fine. Even less so in winter due to their metabolism slowing down.

    They are small fish, they make very very little splashing noises while eating. As for the smell, having live plants in there will help but water changes would be needed atleast once in a while.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      luv medaka box

  4. 7 months ago
    Anonymous

    This thread gave me a brilliant business idea.
    >plastic. pets.
    Like they have plastic food in Japan, but for pets.

  5. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just get an automatic feeder and water dispenser for a cat.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Also have a second litterbox for when you're out of town.

  6. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >the israelite fears the apartment balcony bee keeper

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >ticks all except for the neighbor complain one.
      Your neighbors just open their windows for some fresh air and now there's dozens of bee invading their lot.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        i have not kept bees myself but want to get a starter hive soon.
        imo, one of the coolest animals ever

  7. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    tortoise
    >sometimes goes a week or two without eating
    >can throw lettuce in the tank whenever
    >doesnt make any noise
    >throw a bunch of mulch for it to burrow in and some heat pads down if you have to have it outside
    >doesnt stink
    >live forever
    >eats fruits and veggies so you can look like you arent a fat frick when you go to the store or have people over

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      I had a tortoise once, when I was a little girl. My dog ate it somehow.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >eats fruits and veggies so you can look like you arent a fat frick when you go to the store or have people over
      Upside of having buns as well, lol. I've always wanted a tortoise.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Also they fight villains and ear pizza

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw my tortoise will live 3x as long as I will

  8. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get a rabbit. Long as they have timothy hay they'll be fine. They're quiet, their dookie smells like grass and is easy to clean. As far as usefulness, if you get a male unneutered rabbit and trim its nails, it will give you fun little head massages/scratches which have the added benefit of encouraging you to wash your hair (although depending on your lifestyle, having a little rabbit cum in your hair may be a drop of water in an ocean)

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >(although depending on your lifestyle, having a little rabbit cum in your hair may be a drop of water in an ocean)
      my sides

  9. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Something that can replace itself
    get some cherry shrimp and some plants and moss

  10. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Buy a fricking cactus ffs

  11. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Having read your requirements and replies I'd recommend befriending something that is essentially wild and lives outside, but can be interacted with. Befriending a corvid could be a satisfying experience.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      How did they teach the cat to walk like that

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why did he do it?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Because he could.

  12. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Guinea pigs. Note the plural! Can be abandoned for a few days with reliable food and water. Reasonably hardy in the cold and especially with a heated shelter.

  13. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    A poisonous frog, lick it chud

  14. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    What's a huis and why do boys hunt insects in it

  15. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know if anyone has said this, Australian tree frogs. They meet your requirements, they're awesome, they live a long time, there's some drawbacks but I have 2 and 2 other frogs and I frequently leave them 2-3 days 🙂

  16. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Snake. Ball Python is an ideal starter. They eat once a week at most.

  17. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    nothing fits these requirements

  18. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Which animals other than cats can you actually let roam around your huis and eat insects?

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      A basedboy

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        What makes a boy based?

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          It roams around your huis and eats insects

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      A tarantula

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Letting a tarantula run around your apartment is asking for trouble.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          How so exactly? it can't do anything to you

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            I'm pretty sure that tarantula venom can actually cause allergic reactions and even death, especially in children, and more commonly the tarantula hairs are even more allergy reaction prone.

  19. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    A tarantula ticks all of them except for surviving in a balcony

  20. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw the landlord doesn't know about my chilled 1500 gallon goldfish tub pond in my spare room
    I sometimes put my feet in during the summer and let them nibble my toes

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >in before he walks in and eats it when raiding your fridge
      my house my rules bub

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >the israelite fears the indoor urban goldfish farmer

  21. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    get a big fricking spider

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      spider is the best option imo except for the winter part
      >can survive 2-3 days without being fed
      >but needs to be fed after 3-4 days at most
      the majority of spiders, not just the big ones, don’t need to be fed daily. they can survive way more than 3 days without food, some survive like 2 weeks
      >doesn’t make noise that would make the neighbors complain
      they are dead fricking silent
      >can live out on the balcony
      not just the balcony. anywhere that is sufficient will be used, in the same was as “if i fits, i sits”
      spiders can’t survive in winter for long though, they might want to get inside
      >doesn’t stink
      yes
      >doesn’t die easily
      can go without eating for >1 week
      can fricking take down grasshoppers and big ass beetles
      extremely low maitenance, all it needs is some bugs it can eat and anything except cold and that’s it
      >does something useful
      eats the absolute hell out of anything you don’t want
      mosquitoes, gnats, ants, flies, maybe some invasive beetles or locusts, maybe even other spiders
      some such as golden orb weavers will fricking chow down on snakes

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Is it possible to find out if you're allergic to their venom before they bite you

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >spider is the best option imo except for the winter part
        Yeah the winter part is kinda difficult. The local retailer says that the spiders can only handle 20-22 degrees Celsius at worst during the night, and they also need >60%+ humidity.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Tarantulas can kill.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            And that's a good thing.

  22. 8 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is a very cute picture, I wish too I could have as much fun watching good for nothing non-pets like shrimp.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Osaka is moronic

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >good for nothing
        They are tasty tho

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          The kind of shrimp that can be raised without ridiculous maintenance on a balcony aren't the type that will be good for eating.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      don't those things die fast

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yes but they also reproduce fast.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is a very cute picture, I wish too I could have as much fun watching good for nothing non-pets like shrimp.

      Mantis shrimp pet.

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        do they taste good?

  23. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    A small reptile of some sort seems like it matches all of those checkpoints.

  24. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    wienerroach
    bedbug
    silverfish
    termite

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Already have 2/4

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >silverfish
      What's your problem man

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Apartment Pests

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sorry I misread

  25. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Small parrots, provided your landlords aren't Jannies and can handle a bit of whistling.

  26. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Paper wasp colony.

    Can gather food on its own, but you can also feed them sugar water every 3-4 days to pep them up. No noise complaints (no guarantees about other types of complaints however), no problems overwintering, doesn't smell, individual wasps can die but the colony itself is tough, does something useful by pollinating plants, will hopefully sting your moronic ass into an anaphylactic coma for thinking that pets are toys you can buy on a whim and neglect.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Paper wasp colony.
      Damn, sounds based. But I don't think they thrive in a urban setting. No plants to pollinate here just concrete.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Black person WHY? These things are so aggressive, will probably get into your house, and are guaranteed to sting + bite you and your neighbors. Its a great way to get evicted as well.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        Read between the line my autistic dude. She was being sarcastic, like the smart girl she is.

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Dangerously based

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        t. WASP

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      and also free honey

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >and also free honey
        Pretty sure they only make shampoo.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          Is this for real? Shampoo is made by waspssss?

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            She's making a Beavis & Butt-head joke.

    • 7 months ago
      Anonymous

      get the kind of wasps that eat spiders and charge people to have you release a swarm of hungry wasps into their homes to eat all the spiders

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        >t. Tetsua Crump

      • 7 months ago
        Anonymous

        this but minks vs rats and other vermin

        ?si=zhLH2EzXCt9LnRO8
        cute practically unstoppable killing machines and people actually pay for mink services (i doubt anyone would pay you to release wasps at their home)

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'm assembling a team...
          >some goats
          >a barn cat
          >a colony of paper wasps
          >the minks
          who am I missing?

          • 7 months ago
            Anonymous

            What goaty gon do?

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              eat invasive plants, and everything else

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              satanic things

  27. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    >>can survive 2-3 days without being fed
    >>but needs to be fed after 3-4 days at most
    le funny troll post

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      What's the problem?
      >I want a pet that doesn't have to be fed every day, but it has to be fed at least once every three days.
      I'm fine feeding it every day, I just don't want to have to get someone to look after it and feed it whenever I have to go see my parents (and I want to have an excuse to not be at my parents' house for more than 2 days, "oh sorry I have to go feed me chonger"). So far I like the carnivorous plant idea the most, I just finished reading a book on friendship with plants this spring.

      why do you want to torture your pet so bad

      Where's the torture? I don't eat every day either and I'm perfectly fine. I don't even think about it but since I eat only once a day (and have 22-28 hour cooldowns in between, usually 24), it basically means I eat every second day.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        you do/should not need/have pets. pick another hobby like "computers" or Internet

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          >pick another hobby like "computers" or Internet
          I already have those. I was told that having a pet is a good way to mitigate sociopathy. Maybe I should get a Japanese peace lily first, then a carnivorous plant and then I'll be ready for a goldfish.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Trust me, you don't want a goldfish.

            Their care needs are like 60x what a normal person thinks they are. Getting one is like getting a husky puppy and thinking you can keep it in a hamster cage for life.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Their care needs are like 60x what a normal person thinks they are.
              So goldfishes being an easy pet is just a forced meme? What is a highly resistant and robust pet fish then? I heard Koi are good but they need huge amounts of water and they eat their own children when hungry.

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                Goldfish are essentially pigs with fins, they're very hardy and can take care of themselves but also eat and shit all day. This means they need a large enclosure, skip out on that and you'll have a dead fish and a disgusting septic tank to clean. This is the fate of all these bowl goldfish sold to clueless parents looking for an easy pet for their kids, they can survive for a while because goldfish are made of iron but only live for a few months while a healthy adult goldfish is the size of your head and can push 20 years.

                If you want to keep a goldfish with no hassle, you're looking at 100 liters or so of water (could be an aquarium or a tub, doesn't matter), and a couple of powerful filters to keep up with the shitnado. They can be kept outside and have no problems with winter as long as some water remains liquid. Bettas are the standard entry-level fish but require a heater and won't survive winter outdoors. Smaller coldwater fish like ricefish would be ideal if you're looking to keep an outdoor pet.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            you need therapy, not a live-in victim

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              Many such cases.

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >you need therapy, not a live-in victim
              /thread

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >don't even think about it but since I eat only once a day (and have 22-28 hour cooldowns in between, usually 24),
        Bullshit. I feel like I'm dying after 8h of no food.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Same. I tried keto once and that was bad enough

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Keto is not fasting. Regardless, both diets tend to be pretty fricking stupid, and combining them is extra strength moron.

            >don't even think about it but since I eat only once a day (and have 22-28 hour cooldowns in between, usually 24),
            Bullshit. I feel like I'm dying after 8h of no food.

            OP is obviously an autistic psycho but you're a fricking fatass.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          you are overweight

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Keto is not fasting. Regardless, both diets tend to be pretty fricking stupid, and combining them is extra strength moron.

            [...]
            OP is obviously an autistic psycho but you're a fricking fatass.

            I'm only 205 lbs, that's slightly above average here in America

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              Damn you a skeleton

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          its not that hard. I used to 72hr fast regularly. I still do it a few times a year, I just stopped caring about being very thin.

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          fat.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        >I want to have an excuse to not be at my parents' house for more than 2 days, "oh sorry I have to go feed me chonger"
        >I just finished reading a book on friendship with plants this spring.
        >I don't eat every day [...] I eat every second day.
        Yep, you're a psychopath alright.

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          Not her/him, but the plant part is obviously a reference to the Megumin girl with big breasts from anime.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            who

  28. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    why do you want to torture your pet so bad

  29. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Just buy some carnivorous plant.
    >easy to care for
    >fun to feed
    >catches annoying insects

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do they kill skeeters too?

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        They can kill them but are not really effective at luring them in the traps. They work best against flies and wasps.

  30. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Some sort of winter rat. Guniea Pigs maybe

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      Certainly not, I've had a guinea pig before. My dad left it out on the balcony for several hours during one summer and when he returned from work it died of overheating.

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        What temperature

        • 7 months ago
          Anonymous

          50

  31. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    If your balcony can handle the weight of a container the size of a kiddie pool and you take measures to keep the water from freezing solid, rosy minnows (Pimephales promelas) meet your requirements. Can easily keep them in a smaller container, but those are more difficult to keep thawed during winter.

    The useful thing they do, in a container that is as big as I described, is prewash dirty food utensils that have hard to reach bits stuck to them, like whisks or between the tines of a fork. An actual pond with them can clean up dirty dishes nicely, but you risk fouling up the water too much with the limited space you have. The fish also be used as fishing bait, eaten, or you can use their water as mild fertilizer for your houseplants.

  32. 8 months ago
    Anonymous

    Get a cat (it won't live on the balcony or be too useful but it will kill bugs and mice)
    Or quails (can live on the balcony and lay eggs but might be higher maintenance)

    • 8 months ago
      Anonymous

      >cat
      >quail
      solid. also rabbit

      • 8 months ago
        Anonymous

        ive heard that quail are superior to chickens for the pet to food pipeline, as in chickens make better eggs and meat, but only if you specifically raise them to be eaten. Whereas quails will produce good eggs and still be good eating when they die of natural causes

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          im no expert. just learning stuff as i go, but ya, quail start laying eggs at 6-8 weeks old while chickens might take 6 months to start laying. quail live shorter lives, smaller meat and eggs, but mature much faster and are much quieter. quail also have smaller beaks so need small crumble food

        • 8 months ago
          Anonymous

          quails are very small birds, dealing with gutting 6 of them for a meal for 3 seems like a hassle

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            yeah but I can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken by myself. If I was a solo quail farmer wouldn't 1-2 + sides/rice make a meal?

            • 8 months ago
              Anonymous

              >can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken by myself

              maybe you can't

              • 8 months ago
                Anonymous

                that's what I said fatass.

            • 7 months ago
              Anonymous

              >yeah but I can't eat an entire rotisserie chicken by myself.
              You some kind of manlet? I could easily eat two. Never tried but I regularly eat three pizzas for lunch, all by myself, takes only 4 hours. And I'm not even fat.

          • 8 months ago
            Anonymous

            Quail are ridiculously easy to slaughter compared to chickens. In the time it takes for 1 person to entirely process 1 chicken (from slaughter to bagging) they could easily have processed 5 quail.

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