The most edgy article I have read this year has to be “I adopt pit bulls on Craigslist and put them down—and you should too.” Yes, this is an article so edgy that it’s cutting the children. Be careful if you click it. It’s about a hysterical person who claims they adopt pit bulls just so they can then put them to death. They claim they have done this foul deed over 100 times so far.
Deep inside, this woman probably understands the futility of her movement to kill all pits. So she does something more annoying then smothering doggos: she brags about it on the internet. If you are terrified of pit bulls and legitimately worried about them, the last thing you want to do if you want to garner online sympathy for a burgeoning pit genocide movement — is to admit that you kill dogs for a hobby!
I mean, it could only be worse if you brag about stomping on kittens.
But don’t get me wrong. The action in itself, as unethical as it may be, is not necessarily what loudly foghorns the person’s ass backward thinking. Basic knowledge and the simplest of math does.
Critical dog breed theory
First of all, pit bulls don’t even really exist. Look it up in the American Kennel Club. There is no such breed as a pit bull. Rather, “pit bull” is a colloquial term that encompasses a range of breeds, including:
- The American Pit Bull Terrier
- The American Staffordshire Terrier
- The Staffordshire Bull Terrier, and
- The American Bully
Any way, the reason this person (and many pit haters) has a one woman vendetta against an entire breed of dogs is because statistics. Muh statistics show that the #1 case of death by dog in the US is caused by pit bulls. 72% of fatal dog bites are done by this breed. I don’t deny that.
But the brainlet in chief doesn’t question this any further, like for example interrogating what type of owner typically decides on a pit bull when getting a dog. I did that interrogation.
Related: Pit bulls becoming drug dealers weapon of preference
And the answer is that a lot of people do buy pit bulls precisely due to their “dangerous” reputation — and then train them as attack dogs to defend a property or to attack the owner’s enemies. In dog ownership, it’s all about how you train them, after all.
The stereotype that pit bull owners tend to be from ghettos and trailer parks, is in fact not a stereotype but completely true. This has come about because the pit bull has an image of masculinity and has status in gangster and white trash culture. When raising a dog in these environs of violence and crime, it should come as no surprise that the dog can become violent.
Whether dog or human, it all comes down to socioeconomic factors. That’s the big truth.
But the numbers, Jerry!
So let’s for a moment entertain the pit hater claim that it’s about genetics: basically the pit bull will spring on a toddler or small dog the moment you let it because this is its nature and its destiny. By contorting ourself into this pretzel position of simplistic thinking, we’re now able to look at the phenomenon from a purely raw numbers point of view.
Well, there are more then 18 million pit bulls in the US. And a closer look at the statistics shows that in 2020 the 72% of fatal dog bites caused by pit bulls represents just 33 cases. In a nation with 18 million pit bulls, in 1 year just 33 of them killed someone. Wow-ee.
Do you know how many people die from falling down stairs in any given year? 12,000! Are we going to start an anti-staircase movement and toss all stairs out into the streets and burn them on giant bonfires? If not, why not?
33 is only barely more than annual fatalities from snake bites. So I call 33 deaths a year a pretty great statistic, to be honest. Well within the bounds of acceptable levels of casualties.
Especially because many of those 33 fatal dog bites were the result of owners who intentionally sicked their dog on someone, or used a dog to guard a property. Had they not used a pit bull they would have certainly bought a rottweiler or another large breed capable of doing the same job.
Inside the pit hater trutherist there is a core belief that pits are just too dangerous to have as a dog and that we should put them all down. Let’s entertain this notion as well for a moment.
In this hellscape world of total pit genocide (and a nazi flag on every building no doubt), the new dog bite fatality stats would show that the rottweiler is now the most dangerous dog. So we would have to genocide the rotts as well.
And after the rott comes….do you see where this is going?
First they came for the pits and I didn’t speak out. When they came for the chihuahuas, there was no one left to speak out.
I shouldn’t have to spell it out, but in this scenario we quickly run out of dogs to kill. There are no totally innocent breeds without any victims at all.
And then what? Are we going to start killing the cats? And then what? Races of humans?
So instead of common sense dog control, how about we have some common sense hysteria control?
People killed by dogs are rare and some of them were looking for it to begin with by invading someone’s property or attacking a dog owner who happens to have a good guard dog.
Bites and attacks do happen, which is why the owner is responsible and is sent to prison if the attack was unjustified. Unjustified!
Pit bull fatalities will disappear with better education.
Because while we still have areas with poor socioeconomics, there will always be a demand for attack dogs to protect properties and people. Blacks and white trash type of people do not and will never trust the police to do that job for them.
While it would be funny to suggest that in a nation where guns are legal, dogs should be banned, how about we don’t waste people’s time. “Common sense dog control” is just as hilarious as “common sense gun control.”
I mean this literally: what a funny meme you’ve cooked up, hysterical person responsible for writing “I adopt pit bulls on Craigslist and put them down—and you should too.” Ha ha. But let’s not make it anything more. It isn’t.
Ultimately, 33 sacrifices a year is a small price to pay for Pibble’s infectious smile.